Friday, May 31, 2013

Impossible IQ (May Challenge Continues)

Day 24: Your top 3 worst traits

This is a topic I know you all are holding your breathes thinking okay we won't say anything until she does:P then we'll be safe. 


1. I am oversensitive.

I would think that's kind of self-explanatory. I get very attached or care too much for my own good and then I get hurt pretty quickly. I'm better at it that I have been but it's still there. And flourishes quite spectacularly with those I am very very close to. (See #2.)


2. I am argumentative.

As those very very close to me know, I can have a bit of a temper. And it's funny, because I used to be pretty cool and calm about almost everything and anything. Or, if I really think about it there have been phases. When I was younger, like in the midst of high-school, I distinctly remember my dad telling me that I have a hell of a temper. This connects directly to my sensitivity (see #1), of course, but what I do recall is I used to get pretty upset when I cared too much in regards to family, back then. Then I learnt to kind of pull back, and let go, because it was futile to get angry and care that much. Same pinch with my high-school friendships. Then I entered my resolution of 'apathy': to not give a damn. And that was how I was in uni, for the most part. I made a few friendships wherein I had to give a damn, but on the whole I learnt that I really wasn't a vessel for anger. 

Cut to present: Somehow the handful of people that I count as my closest think of me as a hotheaded girl/woman, whereas those who aren't as close as them (read skin-deep close) think I'm amazingly cool, calm and collected. Go figure; it's obviously correlated to how much I care. 


3. I am self-sacrificing.

I don't know why but sometimes I just do whatever to make others happy rather than for my own good. I have had an easier time recognizing the first two traits as problematic, but this one I have needed to be pointed out to me. I still can't really get a grip on it that much to really explain but, I like to make other people happy, or rather I try to appease,  and often that comes as an expense to my own well-being. As I have eventually recognized, sometimes I get taken for granted or get treated like a doormat. And I've been trying to come to terms with how I don't, without being altogether selfish. Of course it makes sense that those who would treat me like that shouldn't even be worth a care. Sometimes it's weirdly complicated though. o_O  But yeah.