Inspiration

The clouds gather, dark and grey. The sky sinks with its burden. A world, colorless and cold.

Then, the rains come. Drowning the world in its torrents. Flooding the streets, battering the trees, drenching the world in the sky's downpour of tears.

Pain.

Toote | Broken

My Dreams, why do you break? O Tears, why do you fall?

Dreams. Reality. What really makes them so very different? As long as a dream is not disturbed, all objects within it appears to be real. And yet, what is real and what is unreal?

Poetry is often scented with pain. More often than not, the poet finds release in letting tears fall through words.

“You use a glass mirror to see your face; you use works of art to see your soul”

Life is never easy for those who dream, but life would be harder for those who do not.

Sapne Se Sapne Tak

It comes from within.

Differentiating what 'it' is, well, that too is within, for you to decide.

It.

The daring to dream, the strength to smile, the luxury to love.

Everything, anything. It all comes from the heart. Beyond the complexities of life, it all really is so simple. The truth about life is simply that the truth about about life lies within.

It's for you to find.

Life may throw its hardest punches, and though you may be bruised and battered, the underlying winning blow is for YOU to stand up to it, and still move on. Life can kick you down so many times - sometimes throwing so many blows one after another - you feel you simply have no energy left to ever try to get up again, and you find yourself giving in, saying "Why bother, life just has the worst for me."

The inside joke is, you're going to have to get up sooner or later. Sure, you can lie there, and let the dust of exhaustion accumulate as time goes on with its own business - Hell, time doesn't get paid by the hour; it sure won't bother waiting for you! On the other hand, you can show you've got what it takes, get back on you're feet and call this round your victory. Try as you might, you can't kid life. I mean, who are you kidding? YOURSELF. You're on this planet for a reason. God knows what that is, but why worry too much about those details; you've got yourself a free ride - enjoy it while you can.

And listen, "enjoying" doesn't mean dropping everything and partying till the cows come home. Get real. If that's all there was to life, imagine the mess, the chaos, the utter dung heap this world would be. In fact, there probably wouldn't even BE any cows coming home after .. doing .. whatever it is that cows.. do.

But I digress. NO, I do not intend to pursue a PhD in Mooology. Though, it is quite philosophical when you think of it. Life DOES allow you the opportunity to digress. Perhaps that's one of the few underlying truths about it. You can really never know when these elucidating truths about life will hit you; I mean, just think, this insight came from a little ruminating about cows. How profound.

Digressing, yeah that's life. Seriously. We build our dreams as we trod our ways through this journey of life. It's not a straight and easy road. It never is. If it is, well, maybe you're a little too high on something. Everyone's journey has its rough edges. Those without are to be pitied. And yet, we'll make new discoveries, learn new things, and have new preferences. Our dreams change. Our path, which we thought went in one direction, digresses to another. That's the joy of life; we adapt, we grow within, learn from the steps of yesterday, forming some tentative prescribed course of life.

Perhaps you keep reaching dead ends. Perhaps there seems no way to turn, noone to turn to. That you're on your own, and nothing could ever be worse. Possibly, you've even begged God to end it all now, to let this pain and suffering be totally rid off, that you would face death a thousand times more than face the tests life has given you. Drowned in tears, you can hardly remember a time when you had ever smiled, and believe you've even forgotten how to. Lonely, quiet nights you stare at the sky and ask "WHY?" - Why ever laugh when it all comes to tears, why dream when it all breaks, why ever love when it all hurts so much in the end, why even LIVE when you only wish to die?

It pierces you within, a bitterness at yourself, at life, at everything that's just so utterly screwed up. You want to hit something, to scream, to vent that frustration of not knowing the answers. Nights pass sleeplessly, the tears run dry, within you wonder if you can even feel, the numbness just pervades your being. You ache for someone, just one person to understand, to maybe understand what you yourself do not. And yet, CAN there ever exist anyone who could know exactly what it is you feel, and beyond that, should there be anyone to feel the extent of your anguish? Who do you turn to, when you can't even turn to yourself? Where do you go, when you don't even know where you are? What do you do, when you dont know the way?

Introspect. It IS there. Find your peace, cast off your sorrows. One day, even as much as it seems impossible, the answers WILL come. Believe in it, and let that be your self-preserver. It's like keeping your head above water when you fall in. Strive for the shore, you have the better chance of reaching it.

Each time you go under, it is for a reason; and each time you do emerge, that's an added strength. Like a grain of sand that starts forming the pearl, every layer adds to the beauty of the entirety.

Just don't hold back simply because you're afraid. Take the risk, dare to dream. Let yourself love. The problem with this world is that its clichéd about clichés. Things as simple as 'I love you' have been pushed in that dump. Yeah, it's true, the whole point of labelling "cliché" is because of a repetition that loses the main novelty of the original. But damn it, it does NOT have to be that way! Really. There is a magic in those three words that exceeds description. Of course, being said as ONLY words without intent is quite demeaning to the whole magnificence, but the wonders of those three words, the way it sends one soaring beyond the realms of heaven and back in seconds, the way it melts even the coldest heart at times, the way it pierces and warms you through to the center of your soul, the experience alone is something not worth missing. Love is a contentment beyond happiness, when you truly realize the extent of it. Beyond possession, beyond satiation, there is an independence in just loving, for the sake of loving. When you realize it's as part of you as your own soul. When you can give and give and give love without restraint, and feel a fulfilling peace within, as if loving alone, even if not returned, is intrinsic to life itself. It's a purpose and yet, its the goal.

There's nothing new in wondering what the meaning of life is. It's an age old question. Whichever way you look at it, from scientific theories, to philosophical, theological, ethical, spiritual explanations, at the fundamental basis of it all, we find one of the oldest phenomenons called Love. Might sound familiar? For as cold and calculating scientific postulates may appear, even scientists fall in love. From the beginnings of civilizations, be it the romantic tale of the Sun and Moon, or original sinners Adam and Eve, or even those starcrossed lovers Romeo and Juliet, it existed. And still does till today. Yes, it's antique but something can be antique without being antiquated. The law of gravity is extremely old but not antiquated. And if you doubt it, jump from the twelfth floor.

The point is, love and life just go hand in hand. Without love, what's left in life? It's what takes us from moment to moment, through days, through years , from birth to death. It fills in the black and white with rainbows of colour. The loneliness of never loving is far worse than any loneliness incurred through love. The experience alone is like lighting a flame of warmth within the heart, rather than the cold and darkness left without that warmth ever having been lit. No wealth of materials could outweigh the riches of love. Faith and love, in fact, faith IN love, in how much you believe in it, is just another fundamental key to life. It isn't just a belief in its existance, or rather the relative definitions of what it is, but moreso, it's a belief in how much within oneself, how truly are you capable of it, how much faith you have in your own love.

It's a world of increasing technology, where worlds could be brought together through new means of communication, its all a jumble of numbers and program codes, and yet, the world doesn't function on electricity alone. Beneath all the science, the postulates and theorems, the forces and energies, there exists the potent power of love. It gives us that sense of direction, and empowers within us the ability to dream. It erodes the confusion, and stabilizes a sense of security within.

Again, it's within you to find, and if you believe enough, it isn't that far afterall. It's an equation about life, with love at its basis. It's a question only you can find the solution to, because it's your life.

Solve it.

Ek Sapna

I've dreamt so many dreams, .. in this life. Yet there was only one, that I held closest to my heart. The years that went by, from the very birth of that dream into my mind.. only added and enriched that dream.. It was a dream of a beautiful life, a dream of feeling complete.. a dream of forever and eternal love.

It took a moment, for the match to ignite.  When the dream started appearing to become reality.. that's when the flame really started to glow.

A dream come true, or so it seemed. Once that dream took hold, all other dreams were so insignificant in comparison. It was the only one I wanted. The only I needed. The only one that filled every day of life with hope, happiness, love.

When did the storm come, out of nowhere, trying to extinguish that flame? In the quickest of moments again, the winds gusted, making that light flicker. Shadows cast upon every sunshine that ever existed. And just as the torrents of rain hammered down upon the dream, so came the tears, as never before.

For every happiness lived in that fleeting dream, the pain overwhelms so much, having it taken away. The days when I believed, for every dream that remains only dreams, there still lies hope and beauty have long gone past.

Hope, it was that which made me see so many more dreams beyond this one dream. Hope, its what I only have to cling on to today. Hope, it is that which I have so little of, this one dream, my life, being stolen away.

It has me wondering why do we dream? Me, the girl lost in dreams so much of her life, the one who dreamt and for whom dreams were her source of nourishment. Why dream? .. It all feels so illusional today. With that one dream, I believed I could do anything, accomplish anything, just for the sake of keeping that dream mine. Today, it slips away from my hands, with me asking "why?".. and I feel there can be no tomorrow without it.

Hearts break, dreams break. And yet, love never dies. As much as the storms attempt to extinguish my light, the love will never let it die. Where there is "forever", it will be found in my love. With or without that dream, even through the tears, it will be the one thing in this life which I can call true.

It is only that one dream for which I wish to live. But it is beyond this life, and beyond fulfillment of that dream itself, to which I will love, love true, and love forever.

Khamoshi | Silence

It betokens its keeper with unimaginable power.  Yet again, it is  that which locks you into a glass box.

In one's own world, its a battle of whether to keep it or to break it. Silence is in some notion, a tool which surmounts to much wisdom. You listen, you hear, others pour their worlds to you. And though you find someone to perhaps share something or the other, there exist worlds within which you never share. You take your own experiences, and try to be there for others, who claim the world is against them, that life is nothing but closed doors of happiness, little knowing how insignificant their troubles appear, with those secrets that lie behind that silence.

In many aspects, it is dishonesty. Perhaps it is that silence which only keeps back its keeper from truly feeling free. The weight of what you keep locked, acts as a wall between you and those you try to get closer to. When questions are raised that come close to that which was so long protected in silence, shamefully, quiet lies come up to the front to keep that guard.

A life filled with grey sorrows, years of  battling depression alone, those nights so alone, cuddled up thinking finally you wont wake up again, only to have that too being cheated of you,  tears that have drowned oneself internally day after day..  that inner yearning to one day find a person to let it all free, remove that box of anguish and burn it forever.. seems that one hope that keeps you actually waking day after day.

And the world knows nothing of it. To them, they see the lie that is the smile. The strong sunny front you mask the grey with. When you extend the smiles, comforting with the fact of forever hope, it seems they only want to hold onto their own bubble of sorrow. It pierces the deepest parts of yourself, when you know that there is so much more a world of sorrow and strife, some which you alone know of, that they cannot see because of the blinding darkness they wish to remain in. For them its a world crumbling around them, with no hopes seen on the horizon. Apparently, the little they do know of you, is enough to place you in the category of being someone who is strong enough to move on, little knowing just how slowly in the process, day by day,  that silence of secrets is really killing you.

It comes to a realization, there really isnt anyone out there to open and cure the wounds but yourself. Because it's your own fault, for keeping in those years of misery to oneself, and never letting another soul try to ease them out. Internal battles arise. Breaking silences only seem to burden others, to weigh them down with things they would not be able to even start to understand. To retain the mystery, it only suffocates yourself, but isn't that so much better than taking others down as well?

Perhaps, the depression can't ever be removed, and it's just that indication that the silence will always be your own. If you cannot even open up to those you say you love, but create small lies to retain the happy front, perhaps you deserve mostly to live with your own truth, and live with it alone.

The world keeps going, life seemingly keeps going. But you come to a crossroads when it all comes back, every part of your road comes meeting up again, and it is as if trains come colliding at full speed. You're sinking again, the depression hits once again.. and this time it seems there really is no light at the end of this tunnel. The battles, inside and out, have been fought. And emotionally, physically, mentally, you're exhausted. You can't live for yourself, never mind others. Once you thought it was enough to just devote all your energy in ensuring the happiness of those you loved. But when that energy has totally reached beyond depletion point? All the years of negativity within, the bitterness, the depression, the tears, it starts to seep out, and before it reaches others, perhaps its time to just wipe it out completely, and entirely. To let the depths of sleep take over, and those final dreams wrap around you as a blanket, as you sleep as you've never slept before, enshrouded with perfect silence.

Live to Love | Love to Live

Love is life. There are many times perhaps when you would doubt it. But when it comes down to what the essence of life is, LOVE is that fuel that sustains it.

It is the foundation that makes us what we are, what we are worth, what LIFE is worth to us. Love and life,  in some ways, are interchangeable. One without the other is useless. Love is what gives us that meaning to life, to look forward to each day again and again, that which gives us that foundation of hope, a meaning to 'tomorrow'.

For many, love is that 'romantic' type of love, the love for 'someone special'. That person we all dream about, someone to spend the rest of our lives with, that person who would be there to hold your hand when you need it most, someone to be there to wipe away your tears, someone to ensure you dont even have a reason to shed them. Someone who you can spend moments, sharing everything, anything. That 'soulmate' that we dream of; most usually everyone's dream. This dream, for a future of 'love' .. is something that keeps us dreaming of a life .. a beautiful life, a beautiful future, with this special person.

Then again, there are times, it seems, that love is the reason for tears. When it has you sleeplessly sobbing through silent nights, only to fall asleep finally, in exhaustion. When everything seems to shatter around you, when your world is filled with darkness, without hope. Dreams about that special someone, somehow just dont become reality.. and only remain shadows in those dreams. Your heart, it seems, could never feel as heavy. Memories bring fresh tears to the surface, fresh hurts that rise up and choke you. Moments when you dont know whether to cry, to scream, to just sleep the world away. Each time you wake, nothing seems bright. The same sun that once made you feel so warm, so rejuvenated, it may as well have not been there for the coldness that pervades you thoroughly. You wake, and the realizations of the hurts flood back into memory, and you wish everything had only been a bad dream. But it isn't. The world seems a struggle then. A future that feels blank. When nothing seems to give you hope. Love seems nothing but pain.

But, it isnt really so. Darkness is not the opposite of light, it the the absence of light. And without darkness, one can never know the true worth of light. Happiness exists, as does sorrow. Without having at least felt sorrow some time in life, one cannot truly know the value of happiness. Love is always good. It isnt love that breeds pain. It is the consequences, the situations, the absence of love that hurts. For, love, in the pure sense, should ALWAYS beget, if not happiness, then contentment. Love isn't always about possession. To love someone truly, it is just enough to know the one you love is happy. Whether it puts you in that picture or not is not of significance. Just loving someone alone, makes you feel content. And their happiness should be yours.

Life isnt only about heartbreaks. There is so much more to life than wallowing in self pity because of a heartbreak. Yes, they do hurt, very much so. But love exists even beyond romantic love. Instead of looking at what you have lost, think instead what you do have. There is so much you have that others do not. If you believe you have the worst life ever, think again. There is a world out there where people suffer much more. Your life may seem like hell to you, but there are those who have not the time to even complain. That you even are able to think, to dream, that in itself is something worth being grateful for.

Sometimes, it is only a matter of being stuck within your own bubble. You hurt, but even worse, you wallow in the pain. You may say: "I'm trying, but  nothing can erase the hurt". You aren't trying enough. It's simply a bubble within which you know that if you take a little bit more effort, you can move on. But you dont want to. Inside, you only want to cling onto what WAS. You shed tears because you can't face the reality that you have to move on. And you let others know you are hurt, because it gets you the attention that somehow, sates that hurt. Feeling pity from others makes you sink into that bubble a bit more. Experiencing love is all part of growing, but it is letting go that is the mark of maturity.

Love exists in other relationships; with parents, siblings, relatives, friends. Sometimes the worth of these relations are put into the shadows; overshadowed by the magnitude of 'romantic' love. But these persons are there for a reason. Not just because of duties or obligations, they care for you. Love is everywhere. It is in everything you do; everything you do, you do it for a reason, and that reason is in hopes of achieving something. You find things you love doing, or in hopes of one day achieving something you would love. You build your life day by day, and it's in waking each day with a smile, just simply because of LIFE, there to be enjoyed, to be loved.

Just because you shed tears doesn't mean life is hell. Sorrow comes hand in hand with joy. To have one without the other ascertains a life that is off balance. We experience them all, for the reason that we learn and grow stronger. The one who has only known happiness in life is really the one who is ignorant. Dont just rue the hurt, experience it, and give thanks that you are still able to have a mind to determine where and what things went wrong, which mistakes you made, what it was that you were naive about, and make yourself stronger. The strength within is that which gives you, not only more wisdom on approaching life, but it's what make you feel with others, to understand them truly. How would you understand a person's sorrows, if you never experienced your own? But, Because you HAVE, you have something to share, to hold someone's hands, and know the right things to say, the right advice to give. You are worth something to others, because you are a person of your own, and can be there for them.

Love: it's first within yourself to find. Without it in yourself, you will not find it elsewhere. Accordingly, you find strength, hope, determination, all within yourself first. Sure, there will be friends, family, special people who inspire you. But while inspiration may come from outside, motivation can only be found within. YOU are the one who has the power to live your own life. It is your own hands that perform your actions, your feet that take you places, your eyes that look towards a destination, your heart beating those silent dreams, that mind that thinks and feels for you. It can never be anyone else, as much as you may wish it. In the end, its all upto YOU. How you approach life, depends on you. It is you who make your own dreams reality. Sure, it depends on circumstances, doing the right thing the right time. But without you taking the first step, you can never really tell whether that path would ever have been worth anything. And its for you to find that hope to make your own dreams come true. Faith in a future, ensures yourself that there is a reason for being. It is because of that faith that you will wake up and smile, just because you HAVE woken. Even in obstacles, it is that firm determination that you are doing what you can, with a true heart. And with that determination to be true, you can never regret anything.

When you realize love, experience true love, there is nothing in the world that could deter you from loving life. Everything will look beautiful to you. You may complain, but you will take it in stride. Sorrows will come, and imprint permanent lessons upon our hearts, but the wounds will heal, wash away as the ocean's tide washes away the imprints upon the shore. Love is an ocean that is always present, sometimes still, peaceful, sometimes dark and murky, sometimes wild and dangerous, at times warm and playful. But love is the epitome of what makes you love life itself.

Solitude | Tanhai

 We came into this world alone. We leave this world alone. And In between, the most precious thing : Life.

It is in this 'life' that we seemingly cast off that cloak of loneliness - we are shrouded with those around us; those we meet, come across, form some of the greatest relationships ever. The motions keep you out of that overall truth that it is an existence of you - only you - when it comes down to the core of things.

You may share a smile, a hug, your love, with those who enter your lives and win your heart. You come across those who you believe understand you so well, those who will 'always and forever' be there with you, for you. Days go by with you spending every moment with those who call you your best friend; you go through these many hours a day sharing laughter and humour, or crying together, sharing your innermost thoughts, your deepest dreams, opening your hearts for them to enter and make themselves at home in. You keep following this path with them, believing there will always be a tomorrow of happiness, if not happiness with the cruel world, then with the knowledge of togetherness. Some nights you lay in the dark smiling happily at the thought that you've found someone you makes you look forward to waking up for. You develop an appetite for sharing those moments together.

We find happiness and comfort in being with those special persons who seem to be made for us. Those who make us laugh, and who we in turn make laugh. Those who we feel need us, and in turn we need them. You are taken with the current, flowing flowing down that river of life, swept into the rapids of 'true friends'.

Then you hit a rock. And it hurts. It slams you HARD the face. Leaving you stunned, shocked, numb – wondering, was that REALLY what it was? Did I imagine this, or am I sleeping? Then you start wondering, oh so cynically, is there really any 'true' to friends? Is there any 'true' to love? Is there anything that will be the TRUE epitome of what it is deemed to ideally be? You can give your heart, your love, your soul, your very life for someone, and just so fast, you can be cheated of it. How far does this transcendent 'true' extend? In a moment, someone you thought was your own cuts you out of the picture; in a moment, someone you thought understood you for who you were betrays that trust you had endowed in them; in a moment, when your tears flow the hardest they've fallen, you find yourself so so alone. In one moment,you're pulled out of that shroud of societal illusion. Things aren't ever what they seem to be. People aren't what they seem to be. In the end, it all comes down to YOU.

You can't ever truly give your heart completely to anyone, it seems, because no matter what, it will break. The search for someone to always be there for you, with you always – someone to be your 'forever' seems so illusional and impossible a quest. In the end one wonders, who could ever be that soulmate. Will there ever be a soulmate ever, or is this yet another erroneous perception of reality.

When you've given so much, and only need the smallest of comforts in knowing someone is there for you, you find yourself alone; out in the cold with only solitude and the cold winter's wind to dry those tears. When you need that one person most of all, simply to hold onto in silence, you only find yourself hugging yourself. When you dream of dancing in the rain sharing that togetherness, you find yourself alone with the rain hiding those tears. And then you find yourself thinking, what really is a soulmate, that entity that means 'forever' ? That never leaves you no matter what ? .. in some sense you realize maybe you HAVE found your soulmate, and its loneliness itself.

Winter Rapture | Ek Raat

.. the noise of the world starts to fade, and with the noise, goes the light of the sky... the Sun starts it descent into the horizon... sinking into its blankets of fluffy clouds.... scattering streaks of colours in its wake... over the expanse of the sky...a paintbrush gently wafts orange into pink and yet again .. hues of magenta into purple.... finally settling into a cerulean blue...then through the final darkness that descends upon Earth... through the parting clouds...comes the royal and noble Moon...so silently peeking down at the world... 

 ... the still quiet of the night filled only with the falling whispers of snowflakes... the caress of the winds upon the  cheeks of the earth... softened by the light of the benevolent Moon...all the world asleep... but for you, solitude beneath  stars of the heavens... the silence belongs to you alone... the magnificence of that moonlight shines down on you ... for you to look far into the depths of space to the farthest reaches from which those lonely beams of starlight twinkle at you through the twirling white opalescent flakes that dance upon the moonbeams...  kissing your eyelashes before winking out into nonexistence...and yet exist those that twirl away from that fate.. .. each lost dancing under the moonlight.... to then come to rest upon the bosom of mother Earth...

...slowly.. slowly... the sky brightens with the multitude of snowflakes falling from the heavens...the moment where the secrets of the heavens show true.. showing the sun courting the moon to eternity...  full of a mysterious celestial romance... and slowly the moon retreats.. sinking backwards to hide its blush beneath its veil of clouds... the sky glows lighter with a new caress of colour... and then peep the rays of sunshine from the earth's ends...a new birth into the world....shedding light onto the blanket of white that engulfs the world... a splendour of white silence untouched and untainted... and you again step out into that world of isolated bliss ... your breath puffs trailing out into the crisp clean air... and you take the first step out... placing the first footprint into that carpet of crunchy coldness... the moment, that solitude belongs to you alone... and you make your way through that haze of silent enchantment .. seeing the sky brighten so inspiringly... the zenith becomes a clandestine clear bright blue ...  garnished with light wispy white clouds... at the horizon heavy grey clouds swirl in a multitude of emotions... the greatest canvas, the sky.. and the Great Artist wielding His paintbrush....     pouring out from behind those purple gray and blue masses, the golden orange and red streaksss of sunlight... glowing pure against the backdrop of swirling clouds... and out comes the radiant fair one, full of splendour and richly arrayed in its glow .. a full visual symphony... beaming its joy ... rejuvenating... nourishing shadows of light ....and renewal radiates upon the silence ... reaching a crescendo that echoes through and through...

Seeing the light

'Seeing the light' doesn't always make things bright, in fact, can make things even darker.
It can take just a moment, the smallest fraction of a second, a millisecond for it to happen. And when it does, it slaps you awake. Fast and hard.


Dreams are quite lethal in this way. You find a small happiness, a little murmur or whisper of your heartbeat, a spark igniting in your heart, and somehow you end up falling, into little thoughts and dreams. Little by little you find yourself adding more into the dreams and find yourself soaring higher and higher. Eventually you wonder what has happened to yourself. You find yourself smiling all the time, laughing out of the blue, seemingly for no reason, yet you know the reason and keep it to all to yourself. You relish everything in life. You love waking to the new day. The vibrant sunlight, the beauty of God's creation, all set out for you to enjoy and admire. Even the wet soggy weather you find pleasure in. You bask in the showers of the heavens and feel like letting it all run through your hair, down your cheeks. You find yourself standing under the moon's light just dreaming, dreaming, dreaming. You, in the midst of thoughts, find yourself having stopped and standing still in the world of the night, with a quiet content smile. You encounter nights in which you look forward to sinking into the realm of unconciousness, and yet somehow they pass sleeplessly, tossing and turning in a multitude of emotions..happiness.. hope... wonder... curiousity... confusion... restlessness.. until ceasing to think, drifting into that final abode of sleep.


It's what keeps you soaring, soaring, in the world of dreams unfalteringly, and almost carelessly. when just in one moment, on little thing comes racing up at you and suddenly, quite too fast, you find yourself in the reality that dreams are just dreams. And you simply aren't flying anymore, but rather falling, falling into the coldness of reality. So fast, you cant react at first. In a dazed state of shock, you wonder whether it really did happen. But soon it sinks in, and you realize that it wasn't imaginary at all but rather your dreams were.
You wonder, where did you lead yourself astray? where did you go wrong? You doubt yourself, your reason for dreaming. Maybe in dreaming, you soared too high and far from what really was there. What you may have had at one point in time maybe you really had lost later on but were too busy dreaming, blinded, innocent, ignorant. You put faith in your own heart's murmurings, but maybe too much. In some sense you were fooling others, by keeping that secret behind the quiet smile, but ultimately you were fooling yourself, and consequently making a fool of yourself.


But somehow, you're calm about it. It hurts, lots yes, but yet, there's that quiet calmness that takes it all in. Perhaps you always knew this possibility existed. Maybe while soaring the heavens, there was part of you still cautiously treading the realms of reality. And this part of you is what keeps you almost stoicly going.


It hasn't been the first time you've experienced this ongoing battle of appearance versus reality, and the path of yesterday has adequately geared you for the thorns of today. You had once shed tears of sorrow again and again, it abated. Then suddenly you had found yourself silently dropping tears of pure happiness; you now determine that, today on, there will be no tears. The biggest dreams a heart could conjure up would be dismissed, sent away, tearlessly.


But somehow, it doesn't work the way the mind set out. The heart leaks through the barrier of apathy. The same walks, where weeks gone by had shared the scenery of your dreams, now tug at the heartstrings in the sheer darkness of the night. The silence is interrupted by the yet insistent murmurings of the heartbeat. You try to quell it, but in a moment, almost as fast as the moment your heart seemed to break, that moment the light slapped you awake, you break, and vulnerably, under the same watchful moon, cry out the disappointment and hurt. You want to sit right there, amid the swaying of the trees, upon the carpeting grass, and curl up and cry, cry, cry against mother nature's embrace. But you keep walking and subdue the throbbing insistent heartbeat, and let the coldness of coming winter's wind dry the tears before you enter again in the world of people.


Again, comes the question: why bother with dreams when they take you so far from reality? One can live otherwise, without dreams perhaps, but most doubtedly. Dreams are the extension of hope. Dreams colour the canvas with the essence of hope yes, and in a way we know what we wish for. Everything in life is done in hope. We do everything in hopes of something. The student studies with hopes of being a doctor, a teacher. We eat in hopes of reenergizing our bodies, and enjoying the palatte of taste. We walk in hopes of going somewhere, of reaching a final destiny.


Again, while dreams can lead one astray, this doesnt mean one day, they wont come true.It's this faith in a future of the true dreams being fulfilled that should keep us going.
They break, and it hurts when it does. One shouldn't dwell needlessly on what you've lost. The thing about most dreams are that they are only projections of what we desire, in the present or future; in a sense, you never had 'it' to lose it. The framework of dreams is built with a network of expectations. Unfilfilled expectations are the precursors of disappointment. Disappointment hurts and sobres the spirit but in the same way pain works, its these wounds that make the spirit stronger.


A person gone without without these experiences - without pain, disappointment, hurt- is a person much more vulnerable to falling and never getting up again. But the person who has come across these obstacles is the one who learns how best to move past them and go on even stronger.


But never deny yourself the time for emoting what you've gone through. Don't hide the tears, the hurt. Let it seep out of the system in its own healthy time. Every human was given a heart to feel, to love, and a mind to carry out the functions. When you hurt, admit it, you'll get over it faster. Don't have self-pity, rather.. sensible sympathy for yourself.
Dont let yourself fall into depressive moods. Keep yourself busy with activities and quite surprisingly you find the hurt dissipates faster.


If you have a heart, you will feel pain in your life.
And if you feel pain, its because you have a heart.


Maybe again, when you dont expect it, you'll hear that whisper of your heartbeat again, the spark ignited in the heart, and you'll find yourself flying again, in love with life, with a new zest.


And dreams will come seeping, floooding in, and one day, come true.
With a brilliant burst of light.

Becoming a bird, this heart flies
When the destination of a dream is met

Dreams still remain dreams
This is real, when will ours happen?

Wakened eyes go on seeing dreams
When to a heart, someone seems to be its own

If everything we dreamed we got,
That's the end of the dream,
But if we don't get what we dream,
The dream lives on

For some reason, I was thinking of you,
To say so many things, I readied my mouth,

But what is this that I have forgotten words?
Speak the truths quietly like secrets,
Other than you, who else do I have as a soulmate?

Who am I to tell you what has happened?
A struggle takes place inside of me,
My soul does not even realize the truth,
Not a single person knows of this,

When you are standing close to me,
My heart flies so far away,
What is this? Why is this?
When you stand far away from me,
My heart comes and sticks to you,
What is this? Why is this?

Without knowing the musical beat,
My young heart beats beats,
In the ocean that is melody,
It suffers, it suffers, beat by the waves,

As my heart travels down a new path,
As it notices new new things,
Shall I make you understand what I locked inside?
I do not know

[SOLLA MARANTHA KATHAI : ''AITHO UNNA NINACHIRUNTHAEN'']

Sapne

Sapne: dreams.

When do dreams ever become real? When one walks one path, dreams may lead to another, leading one astray..or perhaps not.

We keep walking, hoping that one day, just somewhere around that bend in the road perhaps, or just maybe over that next hill, there it'll be, finally. Sometimes we've worn our feet out, fatigue wearing out the anticipation. We may slow, we may stop. But the road is still there, everyone else is moving ahead. Some takes different roads, some turn, some take the right at the fork while others take the left. When you reach these junctions, the decision is yours. What does your heart tell you?

Sometimes there are others walking with you, sometimes you find yourself trudging along alone. Happiness comes and goes. It is all just temporary. We sometimes find that we linger with certain people longer, enjoying togetherness, laughter, fun. Sometimes one may stumble and fall, you reach out a hand, a shoulder to lean on. Sometimes in turn there are others there ready to support you when you find yourself falling.

There are times when you just want to leave them all. Either run ahead of the crowd, or drop behind. Solitude seems more appealing. Otherwise, you just might feel the urge to throw rocks at them when the temper hits you too strong.

Being alone. You may stroll along, enjoy life, the clouds, the trees, the heavens above, the greatness of God's creation. Or when the rain hits you too hard, when the wind blows cold and fierce, you cry and cry ...tears falling with the raindrops. The pangs of lonliness burn. You wonder if there would ever be anyone, someone, who'd be there for you, someone to call your own, someone to call you theirs. Someone to say they understand, to know when to say the right things, or to just hold you in silence.

Sometimes the path seems so long, you wonder if you've failed. Did you take the wrong turn? Did you leave behind the wrong people? Others seem to know which fruit are the best to pick from the trees, why are the ones you pick always the worst? Who can you ask for help?

At times, you want to turn around and go back. But you can't. The rules won't allow it. What's done is done; you can't go back. Those you left, they're on their own path. Your hope is that somewhere later on, your paths cross again, maybe leading to the final destination.

Faith. That's all that keeps you going. When things are down, you realize, if you yourself won't believe your dreams can come true, what sense is there in walking? Aimlessly, you can reach nowhere. Where you stop ultimately, depends on where you intend to go.

Just remember, go forward. Believing is the key. Dreams may only be dreams..but without them, we have no goal. We'd only be following the currents, letting ourselves just float and drift. When the road seems to long, when the journey seems too harsh, just remember that God put you here for a reason. If you sincerely believe in your dreams, you'll be sure that you'll find the road easier.

And those travelling with you... When you're walking alone, just take a look at who's around you. A smile lightens anyone's burden. When someone shares a smile with you, doesn't the baggage of the heart seem so much lighter? Just take a look, you may have been walking beside your soulmate unwittingly. A heart was made to love. A heart can be broken...so many times, yes...but a heart unused is more of a waste.

Dreams. They hold us up when we feel like we're sinking. They put a glint, a twinkle, a sparkle in the eyes.They make waking up to another day full of light.

Dreams are only dreams.

Our hearts can embroider so many dreams. And yet, dreams can shatter. The road seems too harsh, you blindly, through tears, wander...until you realize that the journey has a way to go, the end is still yet yonder. The sun sets, the sun rises...it may take many days until the heart has healed. The pain may throb, softly yet silently...But memories keep one going. Learn from the past, remember it, the less you shall be doomed to repeat it. Things always happen for reasons. What may seem like hell, may really be a blessing. You can really never tell until you reach your final destiny. Yet just keep going, because dreams come again. Like dreams while asleep. They fly off when the eyes open. You may recall all, some, or none of it...but time comes when new dreams come again....