New Year Resolutions

Foreword: This is the long awaited continuation of the previous "Back To School'. All characters appearing in this work are nonfictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely incoincidental. Enjoy.

'Ahh. Just what I need after a long day.' Nerdyy poured himself a glass of red wine expertly, flipped the TV on and settled back on his couch. The day couldn't have ended sooner. He savoured the aroma of the wine and then took a lingering sip. His eyes slid heavenward in pleasure and then focused onto his TV screen.

'WHHHH!' He spat the wine straight out and stood up staring in shock.

....

'OK, next contestant please!'

The doors opened and a small slender girl entered, walking on high heels that matched her handbag.

'Helllo miss...'

'Whoa! Fit!' She eyed the man behind the desk. 'Who are you?'

'I'm Vishal.' The man raised an eyebrow coolly at her from behind his shades.

'Not you! Him!' She pointed at the man sitting beside her.

'Oye yaar. Today's my lucky day!' The man laughed uproarously. 'I'm the Anu Malik!'

'Whoaa Anu uncle!' she dropped her bag at her feet and broke into song 'Dhuannnnnn dhuannnnnnnn ho raha haiiiiiii samaaaaaaaa......'

She stopped.

Anu Malik looked at her 'Why did you stop singing? Carry on na'

Layla rolled her eyes, 'I didn't come ere to sing! What do you think this is? A singing competition?'

The Indian Idol judges exchanged glances.

'Uh. Yeah. This is Indian Idol, miss. What did you come here for?'

'Someone told me that I could meet famous people. I want to meet Edward.'

'And who is Edward?'

'Wait. Who are you? You look familiar man.' She eyed the man in the cap.

'I am Himesh Resham..'

'Ohh! Ooooooooooooooooooo KAJOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOR OHHH KAJOOOOOOOOOOR!!!!!!' Layla laid into the song, holding her nose for effect.

The other judges burst out laughing as Himesh glared at Layla.

'It is huzoor, beti, huzooor!' He reprimanded with a miffed look.

'So when do I meet Edward?' Layla took out her compact mirror and checked her reflection.

'Miss. WHO is Edward?' Vishal asked her.

Anu added, 'You do realize you're on Live TV also na?'

'I'm on TV!!??????' Layla froze.


....................


'I want to go outside.'

'No.'

'I want to go shopping.'

'No.'

'I want to ride my bike.'

'No.'

'Man! Why won't you let me do anything?!'  IQ fumed.

'I told you, you got injured and hit your head.'

'So?' IQ glared from the couch bundled up with what seemed like five million blankets. 'Since when does that mean I can't do ANYTHING?'

'Who said you can't do anything? You can watch TV and eat!' He smiled happily and placed a big bowl of popcorn in front of her.

'EAT! You keep giving me food like..like..like I'm the food bank! And I am sick of your bloody TV!' She grabbed the remote control and threw it across the room. As it hit the wall, the television screen changed from Criminal Minds to another channel.

Smoke sighed and reached over the fetch the remote control. Just then he heard the familiar strains of a Bollywood song being sung out of key. They both swivelled to look at the TV.

Smoke froze and dashed to block the TV and tried frantically to change the channel.

'What are you doing?' IQ asked suspiciously. 'That's Indian Idol. I want to see that!'

'No! You can't.' Smoke gulped.

'Wait. Why won't you let me watch TV now?' IQ eyed her friend closely. She could tell there was something fishy about this.

'Well. It's a... sucky show.' Smoke mumbled.

'Yeah well we've been watching your favourite shows, so let me watch mine!' IQ said with narrowed eyes.

Smoke debated this in his mind. He knew if he didn't this would be another big fight. He sighed and handed her the remote control resignedly. 'Fine, I will just go get some drinks.' He edged out of the room sideways, and when he saw she wasn't looking, he pulled out the plug for the TV and ran for the kitchen.


.................


"What Exciting Happened in Your Last Year? What Are Your New Year Resolutions Based on What Happened?"

Kiara stared at her first assignment of the year in disgust. Either the teachers didn't bother thinking very hard, or they just didn't think.

'Kiara? Is there a problem?' The teacher's voice rose over the bent heads of her classmates.

'Um. No.' She smiled faintly and bent her head down hiding her expression. No problem at all, except this is the sort of assignment we got when we were in 2nd grade! Anyways no one would believe me even if I did write the truth about what happened.

She shrugged to herself, and started writing.


To be continued.

Back to School 22

As he walked through the silent corridors, he heard footsteps. The lights above his head flickered. He froze, and listened carefully. The footsteps had stopped.

He rolled his eyes. Typical. When I needed to get here in a rush, half the world and their dogs were in my way. Now that I'm leaving, there isn't a single soul around.  He started walking again, cursing Murphy in his head, and then hearing the footsteps coming closer, he swung around suddenly, his hands poised ready above his hip.

'Oh. Hey.' The girl blinked up at Smoke.

'You?' Smoke glared at the girl from the exam room. 'Why are you following me?'

'Following? Oh. No. You forgot this,' She held out a piece of paper. Under the flickering light, he stared at it. It was the pamphlet from the Jesus Christ Club he'd been given earlier on the crowded campus lawn.

'Jesus Christ,' Smoke rolled his eyes to the ceiling. 'You kidding me? You followed me out to give me this?'

'Um well, just being helpful. You never know what people might be possessive with...especially,' She looked at him and then stopped whatever she was saying.

'Especially what?' He glared at her suspiciously.

'Well, taking in mind your answers to the exam?'

'Listen. You aren't the teacher, or professor, or, or, whatever. So, just....yeah, whatever.' Smoke turned to leave.

'Hey. Sorry if I insulted you. I don't really know that many people here, but there are a bunch of us going to....well, I thought I would...' She trailed behind him.

He turned around again, with an incredulous look.  'Hit on me? What, are you, crazy?'

'Hit on you?' She seemed confused. 'No! I would never. Oh my god. NO! I just thought, you seemed a bit like you could use some cheering up, and there are some friends of mine who wanted me to meet them later...'

'Listen kid. You should be in bed whenever later is. It's already 9 in the evening. What is later?'

'Well, later, as in now. I'm going over now.'

'Good for you.' He turned again and disappeared around the corner. What did she mean she would never, was she insulting me? He looked at his reflection in the window as he turned around the corner of the building silently. He felt better. I'm sexy and I know it. 


--------------------------


Nerdyy pulled open the creaking door. This was obviously not the same sleek door that their abductor had used. This door was rusty, definitely not used often. He peered through the dark doorway and found himself at the bottom of a long metal staircase that spiralled upward.

'Laylaaa?' He called out, and his voice echoed through that tall space. He looked around then went back out to the sand, grabbing Layla's bag, and returning. He eyed the rust in distaste then looked up, and up, at the spiralling steps. This gets crazier and crazier. How in the world could Layla have gone without telling me? How did she even disappear without me noticing? 

He sighed, and then started the climb.


----------------------------

'No, I'm serious, I need to go to the washroom. I have to pee.'

Rinka was silent for a few moments. 'You could have gone before, anyway now it's too late. Time to have drinks with me.'

'I don't drink.' She countered.

'You lied then. You said you had one.'

'I meant, I had...water.'

'You did not have water, you had a drink, I can tell.'

'How?' She glared at him suspicously.

'I am God. I know.' He beckoned at DM to bring them drinks.

'I see. And do you have any other talents?' She sat herself down and prepared to make polite conversation with this arrogant dude.

'I have many talents. Being God is not a talent.' He wondered what he was saying. Am I drunk?

'Don't you wonder what comes out of your mouth sometimes?' She smiled a steely smile.

'How..., what, no.' He blinked behind his sunglasses. 'Tell me, do you ever feel that people can read your mind?'

'Nop. Why? Is that one of your talents?' She looked down at the drink that was placed in front of her. She shrugged and drank it down.

'No, yes, of course. But I meant, in general, as a human being, wouldn't you wonder about people reading minds?'

'I'm not a human being though, you see.' She seemed to be mocking him.

'No, you don't look like one.' He played along.

'What gave me away? Don't tell me my green antennae are showing.'

'No. You were writing in your notebook and reading.  In a club. Who does that?'

Her smile disappeared. 'I do. If you have a problem go out in the bushes and deal with it!'

'I'm not saying it's bad. Do you ever get the feeling that we're all in some story some creature has written and we're just playing out some roles that they get to choose who we are and what we do?'

She just stared at him. 'Yeah... I think I need to use the washroom now.'


-----------------------


Nerdy huffed as he reached the very top. I am so not looking down. The staircase was flimsy at best. He was tired, and he really had to pee. There was a trapdoor of some sort above and he was ready to heave-ho at it, when he noticed something that looked like a doorbell.

Well, when life gives you doorbells, you, err, press the doorbell. He pressed the doorbell. The trapdoor started moving. Suddenly he was squinting into bright fluorescent light. He climbed through the space and found himself in a toilet stall.

Just what I needed.


-------------------------------------


Smoke entered the basement with another tray. It was empty. He put the tray down on the table already littered with used plates. They escaped.

He knew he should have used his own facilities. These warehouse basements were filled with ways out. That's orite. He pulled out his gun from his hip holster and checked the magazine. He saw the ripped out door, and approached, with the gun held ready. Kicking it open and sidling inside, he stared up at the shaky metal staircase. Hell no.

He backed out and ran out the other door. He took the elevator up and left the supply room and entered the mayhem.

-----------------------------------------

Rinka looked at his watch. That girl wasn't back. While she was gone, he was going through her notebook.  He was getting worried. Everything he was reading was strangely familiar. There were names mentioned that he knew, and he was worried how she knew them.

He got up. He had to check this out. He walked towards the ladies washroom and was about to go through again, when a bunch of girls walked by giggling and a few caught his eye. He straightened up and leaned against the wall casually as if he was just waiting. As they passed, the ladies washroom door opened and a girl walked out, looking a bit self conscious.

'Hey excuse me, is there anyone in there?' He asked.

'Umm, no. There's inside while I was in there. Or maybe someone's in the stalls, I don't know.' She smiled politely and then walked away.

'What a nice girl,' He thought. Then pushed the door open, and went inside. It was empty as she'd said. But that last stall was still locked.

He faced the mirrors again and checked himself out absent-mindedly while hitting the redial button again. Come on Taka, answer your damn phone.

The sound of ringing came suddenly from behind him. Aha. He turned around and rapped on the stall.

'I don't know what you hiding in there for. Come out now. Before I kick the door down.'

The toilet flushed twice and the door opened.

He stared in confusion as he came face to face with another man.

'What are you doing in here? This is a ladies washroom.' Rinka eyed the man.

'Well, if you don't mind me, I need to wash my hands twice. I didn't know that. I was, errr, relieving myself.'

'What do you mean you didn't know. You had to come through the door which is marked Ladies.'

'Yeah, but you're not a lady yourself are you?' Nerdyy dried his hands.

'Where did you come from then? What are you doing with Taka's phone? And why are you carrying a woman's purse?' Rinka was stupified.

'I came from the secret passage in there.' Nerdy pointed to the stall.

Rinka walked into it and glared down at the toilet bowl. 'You came from here?'

Nerdyy was fixing his hair. 'Yes, that's right.'


--------------------

Smoke ran around the corner towards the washrooms and bumped into someone.

'Oh, I'm sorr...' He trailed off as he stared down at the girl from the exam room. 'What the hell?'

'What are you doing here?' She stared at him in shock.

'Seriously? Why are you following me? Who sent you?'  He glared down at her.

'I didn't know you would be here!  I told you, I was meeting a couple of friends here...'

'You really expect me to believe that?'

'Well you will just have to, because that's the truth! Deal with it.' She glared at him, and stomped off. Why couldn't I just be home today? These British people are so strange.

She looked at her watch. She was just a few minutes late, but there was noway anyone could get mad at her today.

She pulled out her phone and tried calling her friends. There was no answer. Great. How do I find them in this crowd? She stood on a chair to see better.

Suddenly the lights went off. The crowd let out a chorus of exclamations and groans. She scrambled down, feeling her way in the dark, and suddenly lost her balance and fell to the ground.

'Ouch.' Suddenly her phone lit up. In the dim light, she saw two shapes in front of her underneath the table. She bit back a scream, then stared in shock.

'Ether? Jiya? What are you doing underneath this table?'

Ether opened his eyes and looked around in bewilderment.

'Oh! You're here!'

'Thanks, but what are you doing underneath this table?'

Ether gestured at Jiya sitting with her eyes closed. 'She wanted to meditate. So we came here to meditate. It's a bit weird, but then I personally find those people dancing and getting drunk weird myself.'

A few lights flared and suddenly there was the sound of music...

'I am a bad bad girl....I'm gonna rock your worldddd...'(listen to song here:http://iq-butterflyeffect.blogspot.ca/)

'Um where is that music coming from?' Ether looked around. Suddenly the table they were underneath was shaking. And there were whistles and cheers from the crowd. They crawled out from underneath the tables to the full vocals of the punjabi singer singing.

'Tera naam japdi phiran, soneya...Main tera naam japdi phiran'

They looked up over the table to the vision of some girl dancing away on the table. The crowds were starting to dance also. They looked at the girl dancing on the top of the table to the girl meditating underneath the table.

'This is going to be one crazy night.' she whispered to Ether.

'Oh, you have no idea.' Ether whispered back.

-----------------------------

'So explain to me again, how you have that phone? And what exactly you doing with my little sister?' Rinka lit up a cigarette, and offered the box to Nerdyy. Nerdyy shook his head, declining.

Suddenly the lights went out. Nerdyy looked around bewildered. 

'Errr, maybe we should check that out.' 

'No, you're not leaving until you tell me where my sister is.'

Nerdyy looked around. 'I don't know where she is. I followed her through that secret passage.'

'You followed my sister through the toilet?' Rinka asked.

'Not the toilet! Geez. Come on. It's not normal to be standing in the dark in the women's washroom.'

'I'm not normal.' Rinka exhaled. 'I told you, you're not leaving until you tell me where my sister is.'

A shadow spoke from the doorway. 'And you're not leaving until you tell me where IQ is.'

-----------------

'That's IQ!' Ether said in shock. 

'What? What are you talking about?' 

'That girl on the table is IQ!' 

'IQ! Whereeeeeeeeeee?'

IQ waved happily, if not a little tipsy from where she was dancing on the table. 

'You came with her?' 

'No, um. Well sort of.' Ether scratched his head. 'It's a long story.'

The music suddenly stopped, and in the silence, there was a gasp and from under the table Jiya crawled.

'Kiaraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa HAPPY BIRTHDAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY' Jiya hugged Kiara tightly.

-----------------

Nerdyy gulped. 

In the dark washroom, they could hear the faint sound of punjabi music thrumming and the drip of water from the sinks.

'I don't know where IQ and Layla are.' 

Smoke leaned against the doorframe, still a dark shadow. 'You still expect me to believe that?'

Rinka kept smoking silently.

'I err don't know what to expect any of you to believe. But I assure you that's the truth. I'm just as concerned as either of you about the whereabouts of my two good friends but as you can see, I'm just as in the dark as you are.'

Rinka chuckled at his little joke. 'Funny.'

Suddenly the sound of bullets ricocheted, sparks flying. Rinka hit the floor and Smoke flatted against the doorway. Nerdyy blinked and looked around.

'Romeyoooooooooo. I'll save you!' Layla's voice came from the last stall, and she burst out with her gun held aloft, and grabbed Nerdyy. 

'Oye. Taka. What you pointing your toy gun at me for?' Rinka got up from the floor.

'Shutup bro. You were bullyinggggg my Romeyo!'

'Romeo shomeo. Who cares who he is.'

'Whatever, bro!' Layla shot at the door, but Smoke was gone. 'Romeyo, run!' 

Nerdy turned and ran out of the washroom into the semi-lit crowded floor of the club.

-------------------

'Kiara?' IQ looked down from the table. She saw the trio and climbed down, a little off-balance. 

'Easy there, Miss IQ.' Kiara beamed at IQ.

'Oh boy, it's my lucky day.' IQ grinned and wrapped Kiara in a big hug. 'Happy birthday Kiaaa!'

Then fainted.

Back to School 21

Rinka, as his sister called Bulb, knocked on the door. The door opened as outgoing girls rushed out, gossipping, giving him looks.  He scratched his  head. Locked inside, my foot. The door is open.

Just in case, he stuck his head in. There was a little enclave and another door leading to the main ladies washroom. He sidled in, and then yanked the door open.

There was a shriek. Two girls were standing at the sinks, staring at him in shock.

'Sorry, ladies. Looking for my sister.' He gave them a nonchalant look. 'Maybe you've seen her?'

'Dude! We won't fall for those lines!" They gave him dirty looks and pushed past him and left.

He shrugged and then went in, kicking the doors open in the line of toilet stalls one by one. They were all empty except the last one. It was locked.

'Ok. Found you. Get out now.' He turned to the big mirror behind the sinks and  checked himself out, fixing his hair. There was no response. Instead, the outer door opened and a man entered.

Rinka raised an eyebrow from behind his sunglasses. 'This is the ladies washroom dude.'

'Yeah, trust me. I know. I just came to get a picture.' The dude raised the camera hung around his neck and snapped several pictures consecutively.

'Picture?' Rinka raised an eyebrow at the dude with the camera. 'Do you want me to break the camera?'

'Hey, you're not that bad looking. Trust me. The girls outside told me you were here so, yeah.'

'What yeah?' Rinka approached the dude menacingly.

'Uh, nothing. Just memories of the night at the club.' The photographer ran out.

Rinka looked around and then back at the last stall. He kicked it. There was no response still.

'Time's up. Get your butt out of there now. I don't have time for this.' He took a last look in the mirror and went out again.


---------------

Nerdy looked around. He couldn't see Layla.

'Lulu?' He scanned the hills of sand stretching out along the entire warehouse floor. 'Where are you?'

There was silence. 'Luluuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu?'

Nerdyy was really confused now. How in the world could she just disappear? And on top of things, he was getting desperately thirsty. His stomach growled. And hungry. He walked back to the table, and checked out the plates. There was some chicken left on Layla's plate. He sat down and started cleaning it up. He looked around for some water to wash it all down, but all the cups were empty. Oh no, this isn't good. I really need to wash this hangover out. He heard the sound of a toilet flushing.

He froze, and his eyes slid left, and then right. Nothing. Maybe I'm hearing things?


-----------------

Rinka sat at the bar, leaning back with his elbows, watching the crowd. He couldn't see Layla, or anyone he recognized, but he sure was seeing a lot of girls. He sighed, and pulled out his phone, hitting redial. It rang and rang, then just when he was going to hit end, it picked up.

'The number you have dialled is not in service. Please hang up and try again.'

He raised an eyebrow. 'What did she do now? Drop her phone in the toilet?', he muttered to himself.

He swivelled to face the bar, and got dizzy. Maybe a few too many drinks. Too many? Never. He nodded at the bartender for another drink. DM stretched and came over to pour him another drink.

'You ok, mate?' DM asked. 'You said you were looking for a girl. No luck then?'

Rinka shook his head. 'No luck.'

'Why don't you give her a try,' DM nodded towards the end of the bar counter. Rinka looked over and then turned back and raised an eyebrow at DM.

'She's been there for a long time. Couldn't hurt to give it a shot init,' DM shrugged.

Rinka scratched his head. 'Is this an insult?'

DM took a step back. "No mate, insult? It was just a sugg..'

'I told you I'm looking for my sister, and you suggest random girls to me? What an insult.'

'No man. I thought.. well, nevermind then.' DM shook his head and went to tend to another patron.

Rinka concentrated on his drink, finished it, then slowly turned to check out the girl at the end of the bar. His eyebrow went up again.

'What the hell is wrong with her?'


---------------

Nerdyy dropped the phone in relief. He had no idea where Layla was, but something must be wrong, because she left her bag. She never leaves her bag and never her phone.

A few moments earlier, while he was on his knees trying to find the crack in the wall for the door, the phone started ringing. He had scrambled to find it, and when he looked at the display he almost dropped it again.

It was Rinka! Layla didn't want her brother to know she was with him. Wait, why not? Rinka and I talk to one another. He shook his head, whatever her reasons were, he respected them. He didn't want to get her in trouble. More trouble, that is. 

The phone kept ringing. He winced. It was piercing his head, remnants of that hangover. Make it shut up! If I just end the call she might get in trouble, if I answer it, she might get in trouble. What do I DO? Breathe, Nerdy, breathe. 

He took a deep breathe. Then he cleared his throat, and hit Talk, and spoke into the phone. 'The number you have dialled is not in service. Please hang up and try again.' He quickly hit end and dropped the phone in relief.


----------------


Rinka sidled up next to the girl. She didn't look up. He cleared his throat. She didn't look up. He hummed a bit under his breathe. She didn't look up.

'Is she deaf?' He wondered out loud to himself.

'Excuse me?' She blinked at him through her glasses.

'Oh. Sorry. I was uhh, wondering...' Rinka looked at her and wondered again what he was doing talking to this strange girl.

'What you're doing talking to a strange girl?' She raised an eyebrow at him. He blinked.

'How, what, no. I wasn't thinking that at all. Why would I think that? That's...rude.'

'And wondering out loud, right beside me, if I was deaf, isn't rude?' She rolled her eyes.

'Well, no. I was trying to get your attention.' He didn't like her attitude.

'You could simply say 'excuse me', like normal people do,' She smirked.

'Yes. But I'm not normal people.' He smirked back.

'Yeah. I can tell.' She went back to her book.

'So. Why are you reading a book in a club?' He looked at her askance. 'You know that's not normal also?'

'I never said I was normal also.' She continued reading.

'Everyone thinks you're crazy.' There. He said it.

'I don't mind. I'm crazy. Let them think that,' She grinned at him.

'Are you drunk?' He looked at her suspiciously.

'I am not drunk. I just had one drink.' She tossed her head.

'So can I entice you to have a drink or two with me?' He smiled at her behind his sunglasses.

'I, uhm.. Have to go to the washroom.' She started closing her book, and made as if to get up.

'No luck. I already checked the ladies washroom. There are no windows to escape from.' He sat back coolly.


------------------------

'Laylaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!' Nerdy was getting desperate. 'Where the heck can she be?'

He had tried shifting heaps of sand with his shoe, hoping maybe there was some trapdoor she had fallen through. Nope. He stood in the middle of a pile of sand and held his head. How the hell do I get myself in these messes? He looked up at the ceiling that was painted over as a Saharan sky, and froze. He squinted and tried to focus.  I know I saw something. 

He backed up, trying to catch a better glance at the ceiling, and went falling backward, losing his balance. He hit a wall, hard.

'Umphhhh.' He slithered down to his knees. Suddenly something covered him. He freaked out for a second, then realized it wasn't moving. He pushed himself out from underneath it, and found himself holding the canvas that was covering part of the wall. 'Holy...'

Behind the flap that was removed from the wall, was a door!

Back to School 20

The noise in the club was deafening. The front doors burst open and Bulb stood gazing at the crowds, as the haze cleared. There was just a faint murmur of complaint from a couple who were lost in each other's arms, but otherwise the crowd went on as normal. Bulb stepped inside the club and twirled his moustache.. The couple disengaged and glared at him. Bulb stared at them coolly through his sunglasses. They moved away in a huff, muttering comments about Rajnikanth wannabes. Bulb sauntered through the crowds,  manoeuvring smoothly past dancing couples and groups, right through the crowd which somehow parted ways as if it were the Red Sea. He sat at the bar. Unfazed, DM poured him a drink.

An hour later, DM poured another drink and slid it across the bar.

'Mate, you OK?' DM gathered up the empty glasses.

'I'm okay. I just need to find my damn sister in this place.' Bulb looked around warily at the crowds.

'Hmm. What's she look like then?' DM wasn't too sure why he was making small talk with this guy, except that he was still buying. DM liked paying customers.

'She looks like...' Bulb burped. 'She looks like a girl.'

'Uh....' DM rolled his eyes. 'Aight. Fair enough. You sure she's here then, yeah?'

'She's here. I traced the signal from her mobile. It's here.' He shook his head sadly at the bottom of his glass. 'It's a sad day when your little sister goes clubbing when she has exams to study for.'

'Mate, that's normal.'

'It's normal? Define normal.' Bulb pulled out a cigarette.

'Uh. Normal is smoking outside where it's legal mate.' DM nodded toward the open patio to the side.

Bulb lit up his cigarette, not moving. 'I'm God. I don't do normal.'


...................


'These are all paintings,' Nerdyy mused, walking along the walls, tracing the patterns with his fingers.

'Paintings? Like, can I sell them for money?' Layla came up close to a wall and stared at the painted walls.

'Err, a bit hard to sell walls, Diyah. I guess this must be some warehouse or something.' Nerdyy looked up at the ceiling. 'That's all painted too. Pretty neat.'

There was a buzzing sound and Layla pulled out her phone and looked at the screen.

 'Oh, God! It's him!'

'Yes, it's me, God.' Bulb's voice sounded from the phone.

Layla gawked at the phone. 'Hey, how did he do that? I didn't press anything.'

'I'm God. I can do anything.'

'Oi, shushhhh Rinka! I pressed speaker by accident!'

'Ok, ok. Come out now.'

'Come out where? I can't get out!'

'I'm here. Don't try to lie to me.'

Layla peered around the big sandy room.

'Listen bro. You ain't here. You're lying to me!'

'I'm going to count to 5. You come out from those crowds and leave your silly friends. I'm at the bar.'

'Bar? What the beep you think this is? There is no beeping bar here, bro. Am telling you, if you're at a bar, you had way too many drinks. Time to head home brother dear. Chop chop.'

'I'll chop your long ponytail off if you don't come out.'

'I'm telling you! I can't get out!'

'What the hell did you do now? Locked yourself in the washrooms?' Bulb heaved a sigh. 'Ok, hold on.'

The call disconnected. Nerdy looked at Layla, who was blinking in confusion.

'Err, Lulu? Was that who I think it was?'

'Ye, that was Rinka. Ummmmmm. Dunno what he been smoking.'


...................


'Marlboro.' Rinka lit up another one.

DM shook his head. 'Mate, whatever the brand. I'm sure they're all bad for you.'

Back to School 19

‘Layla,’ Nerdyy crouched down and put his hand on her shoulder. ‘Don’t cry, please.’

Layla’s head shot up. She glared at Nerdy. “I’m not crying! What do you think I am man?’

Nerdyy blinked. ‘Err, I think you’re a wonderful, sweet, triple chocolate raspberry scone with a heart of gold.’

Layla stared at him suspiciously then finally ceded. ‘Yes, I know. I’m 100% sweet.’

‘Everyone knows it. You’re too sweet to die, Lulu.’

‘What do you mean? That man poisoned us! You heard him! He is an ass…assa…assassin. I should have known it the first time I saw him, I had a feeling when I saw him outside that door!’

‘Yes, but the…Wait. What do you mean, saw him outside the door? There’s no way you could have seen him Diyah. We didn’t even know there was a door. Remember, you were even on the phone describing this place as...’ He didn’t finish his sentence as she suddenly lashed out at him and he lost his balance, falling back on the sand.

‘Er, ow? What was that for now?’ He rubbed his arm where she had punched him.

‘You’re not listening to meh! I meant that door at school!  Remember? We were trying to escape and that man was standing outside the door?’

Nerdyy racked his brain. ‘Ye…s. I think I remember. You will have to forgive me though, I wasn’t really paying attention, after, ahem, being shot at.’

‘Stop bringing that up, making me feel bad. If you say it one more time, I’ll...ahm…I’ll…shoot you.’

Nerdyy burst out laughing.

‘What’s so funny now?’ Layla started giggling also.

‘Oh, Diyah.’  He calmed himself. ‘So you saw this man at the campus.’ He scratched the back of his head thoughtfully.

‘Yup. And that’s why I should have known it was him the next time I saw him! I’m so daft. I knew I saw him somewhere before and I couldn’t figure it out.’

‘You’re losing me now. What, when?’

‘Oh. You fell of the table. The DJ! In the club. This man has been following us, am 100% sure!’

‘Hmm.’ Nerdyy was a bit bewildered. ‘But why?’

‘Oh come on. He must be after my Beedi company! It’s so obvious!’

Nerdyy stared at Layla to see if she was serious. She stared back resolutely. She was serious.

‘Then why is he asking about IQ?’ Nerdyy asked.

‘He must be after her too! He’s going to kidnap all of us and hold us for ransom!’

‘But Diyah. Ransom for what? Ransom from who? Noone is going to pay money to free all of us..’  Nerdy stopped as Layla shook her head.

‘My bro will.’

‘Your brother?’ Nerdy blinked again. ‘Sure, I can understand why he’d want to get you out. But why on earth would your brother care about me or IQ?’

‘My bro!’

‘Your bro…’

‘Rinka!’

Back to School 18

Smoke slid behind the desk. He was pissed off. He'd had a hard enough time getting through the crowds. Forget finding out the time and place. That wasn't even a problem for a pro like him. But the crowds. He hated crowds. And the kids. Ugh. Detested them.

He thought it would have been easy enough to enlist a young recruit. But no, it had to go all wrong. There were no female agents in situ, they were all out of the country. He had eyed some of the kids while he was getting to the location, and considered pulling one out of the crowd and 'persuading' them to do what needed to be done.

Somehow though, it all went amiss. First, as he had made his way across the lawn to the building, he was accosted by a group of misfits parading around with crosses and handmade signs. Frosh Week.  He'd tried to ignore them, but they refused to let him go. They pressed pamphlets into his hand. Proclaimed that Jesus was the Answer. Asking him had he had pledged to give his faith unto the lord and to repent and receive the Lord Jesus Christ for the answer to all questions was Jesus. He had grunted noncommittally at them, and had, for a few seconds, considered knocking one or two out. But that would have been disrespectful. So he'd shrugged his way through, nodding and waving his pamphlet at them, jogging to the building.

Now, as he slid behind the desk, he was experiencing another problem. He couldn't fit. The space between the desk and the puny chair was tiny.

'What the beep is this? Barbie doll furniture?'  He muttered to himself, struggling with the desk now, as he had somehow got himself stuck between the desk and the chair.

'Hi. Can I see your id please?' A small girl stood expectantly at his side.

'What do you need my id for? This isn't a bar.' He finally extricated himself from the dimunitive furniture.

'Um. This is the exam room. That means you have to show your student ID.' She stated primly.

'Yeah. Okay. But I can't fit in this tiny contraption.' He kicked at the leg of the desk. It almost fell over.

The girl looked around, 'There's a desk over there by the window. I think it's bigger than the regular desks.'

They walked over to it, and Smoke looked over the desk. He made a face, then sat down with a sigh.

'Your ID, please?'  She asked again. He patted himself, looking for where he'd kept it. He found the wallet and pulled out the required card. He looked at it, then looked sideways at the girl a few times. He tut tutted a few times, then handed the card over.

The girl looked down at the card. A cute girl with long black hair was smiling poutily at her.

She looked at the man, and he was facing out the window, his hand covering the right side of his face.

'Um. Mister...Basanti?' She read from the card. 'There seems to be a mi-'

'Yeah, I know. Ehm. It's not a very flattering picture. I, ehm, had to take the photographer out.'

'Out? You went on a date?!' The girl's eyes were round like saucers.

'No! Ehh. Out like, out. TKO.' He fidgeted.

'TKO. Um, okay. Why would you do that though?'

'Listen, is this an interrogation? I came to write the damn exam. Who are you anyways, to ask me these questions?' He huffed, a bit put out. 'You're not a professor.'

'No. I got selected from my school for a student exchange!' She beamed at him proudly. 'I'm fulfilling the duties of an invigilator.'

'Invig..Aren't you kind of...young?'

She looked offended. 'Aren't you kind of OLD?' She gestured with the card.

A bustle at the front of the room distracted them both, as at the same time another invigilator slapped an exam booklet on the desk. It was time to begin the exam.



In the ensuing silence, Smoke turned the exam over. What the hell is all this? He flipped through to the second page, then the third, and kept flipping to the end. Holy sheet what am I doing here?

He fidgeted with the pen, looking at the clock, his mind racing. Answer, answer, answer, answer. The questions on the paper seemed to be taunting him. He glared back.

He read over the exam again. If he had any clue about the subject matter, he was sure this was an easy exam. All he had to do was choose one of 5 different questions, answer 5 short word answers about the question, then explain all his answers in one last question that was worth half the exam grade. Simple

Or not. He glared at the girl who was walking down the aisle, and she seemed to be laughing at him, with a smirk on her face. She knows I'm not supposed to be here. She thinks I can't answer anything. Psh, I'll show her.

He flipped back to the first page, and read through all the questions, nodding to himself. Yes, he could do this. He looked out the window. But how? The sounds of bells tolling caught his attention, across the wide lawn of the campus was a church.

He turned to the first question. Answered it.  Went to the next. Answered it. He made short work of the rest of the questions. Then threw his pen on the desk, he leaned back and sighed. He stretched out lazily again, crossing his arms behind his head.

Back to School 17

'I'm dying!' Layla slid out of her chair onto the ground.

Nerdy jumped up and ran around the table, kneeling beside her. 'Shh, it's okay.'

'No! How is it okay! I'm too young to die! I have so much to do! I have to get married still! I need to see all of Hollyoaks before I die! I have to...I have to write that exam!'

'Diyah...'

'No! Get away from me! This man... I will kill him!' Layla jumped up and grabbed a fork from the table, and jumped at the man still sitting lazily in his chair.

'I'll stab you with this fork!' Layla tried getting at him with the fork and was knocked aside.

The man stood looking down at Layla. 'Where did you get that line from?'

'What are you talking about?' Layla spat at the man.

'Forget it. Give me your purse.'

Layla held onto it.

'For fudge's sake. Give me the goddamn bag.'

Nerdy pulled it out from Layla's grasp and tossed it to the man. Layla turned on her heel and stomped off to a remote corner and sat down, burying her face in her arms.

The man rummaged in her bag, pulling out her wallet, pocketed it. 'Tell her not to worry about the exam.'

Nerdyy scratched the back of his neck. 'Err, okay. I will. But why should I? We're going to die. Not going to make a difference, will it?'

'I don't have an issue with the girl. She's annoying but that may be it. She's a kid, and she has to do well in school. I can promise you this at least, she won't fail.'

Nerdyy looked over at where Layla was hopefully not crying.

The man pressed a button on his device and the sound of gears turning could be heard. As Nerdyy watched,  the door opened up again.

'I don't understand any of this. You said you wouldn't hurt us.'

'And I didn't. You did this all on your own.' He put a leg through the door and then turned back to Nerdyy.

'And no, your food wasn't poisoned. You'll live.'

Back to School 16

Layla and Nerdyy eyed the tall man as he uncovered the tray and set out plates of steaming food. Satisfied, he looked up at them.

'Please, take a seat, and have some food.'

'Err, maybe later,' Nerdy muttered, eyeing the food and licking his lips.  'I, err, not really too...Ah..ouch.' Layla pushed past him and rushed to the table.

'Oh my God. Chicken! Chicken! Oh, it looks so good! And lamb! And cauliflower cheese! All my favourite foods! Yess!' She sat down happily, tied the napkin around her neck and dug right in.

'Err, Layla...Are you sure you're hungry?' Nerdyy tried to put a little nudge into his tone, hinting to her that perhaps it wasn't such a good idea to eat food from a stranger. For some reason though, Nerdyy found that he couldn't say this out loud in front of the stranger. Odd, he didn't want to offend this courteous man who didn't want to hurt him.

'Are you crazy? Of course I'm hungry! Look at this food! We haven't eaten since...' Layla stopped to think. In the silence, Nerdy's stomach growled loudly.

'Please, eat.' The man gestured again, and grabbing a chair for himself settled down. Nerdy shrugged to himself and sat down. Damn, it smells so good. It feels like I haven't eaten for weeks. He took a forkful of food and almost died with joy.

After eating for a few minutes, Layla and Nerdyy realized that the man was just watching them. Suddenly awkward, Nerdy put down his fork.

'So, can you tell us where we are? What are we doing here? And..'

Layla interjected, 'And who the hell are you?'

All traces of cordiality vanished from the man's face. Layla froze, seeing the frown. She exchanged looks with Nerdyy during a very uncomfortable silence. Then the man finally spoke.

'Where is IQ?'

Nerdy shot a look at Layla. 'Err, IQ? Who...ah..'

'We don't know!' Layla threw at the man. 'Even if we did we won't tell you!'

'You realize I won't let you go until you tell me?' The  man said in a soft yet somehow menacing tone. 'So you should think carefully before lying to me.'

'Let us go first! Then we'll tell you!' Layla refused to budge from her stance. 'In fact! Maybe we will show you where she is!'

'First you tell me you don't know where she is. Now you want to show me?' The man raised an eyebrow.

'Well, we won't tell you anything then! Until you let us go!' Layla crossed her arms stubbornly, and tossed her head.

'Umm, mister.' Nerdyy said thoughtfully. 'Say we tell you. What do you plan to do with IQ?'

'That's my concern. Not yours.'

"Ah, well you see. It surely is my concern, and I'm sure Diyah's also.' He shot a questioning look at Layla, who shook her head furiously. 'We care about our friend.'

'Friend?' The man looked curious. 'You don't sound like a Brit. This girl here does, but you, you sound foreign.'

'Yeah, I'm from- OUCH!' He shot a look at Layla and bent to rub his leg under the table. 'I'm from, err, Uganda.'

'Ehm.' The man blinked at Nerdyy. 'Orite then.'

'He cut off his dreadlocks for me!' Layla tried to explain. 'And yeah, he did look hot with them, he gets them fixed at the hairdresser every week just for me, and I like men who take care of themselves! But I like short hair you see. Like my John baby! Hot!' She nodded again at the glares of both men.  'WHAT?'

Both men started laughing.

'What?' Layla looked around mutinously. How dare Nerdy laugh with this man! What a bloody traitor man! I swear I'm gonna knock his head out!

'Err Diyah, calm down. I know what you're thinking.'

'Huh, what? How?' Layla asked.

'Remember, I can feel you."

'Oh yeh.' Layla actually blushed.

The man cleared his throat. 'If you don't tell me, I promise you, you will live to regret it.' He was playing with a knife he'd picked up from the cutlery on the table.

'You don't scare us!' Layla retorted.

'Look. Keep me here. But let her go. She has an exam tomorrow, and she's young, you can't have her fail her exams..'

'Romeyo! I ain't writing that stupid exam. I don't know anything yet! It's your fault, you can umm adjust the marks or something, can't you!'

Nerdyy breathed in, seething. I'm trying to help her get out, and she's making it worse. 'Diyah, I told you, I'm just a guest lecturer. I don't have any influence like that.'

'What do you mean? You're the one giving the freaking exam!'

'I know! But if you had paid attention,'

'Don't blame me now!-'

A keening siren wailed, silencing them. Layla and Nerdy cringed and covered their ears. The big man waited then pressed a button on his device. The siren stopped.

'I don't know what the beep your issues are. And I really don't give a beep. But if you aren't going to tell me where IQ is, you are the ones who will be responsible for what will happen to you.'

Nerdyy gulped.

'Okay. You want to know who I am. I'm an assassin. I kill people.' The man looked at both of them, and sat back in his chair, crossing his arms behind his head lazily.

'You, you're going to kill us?' Layla whispered.

'I may. I may not.'

'Where's your gun? How do you kill people? I don't see nothing.'

'I work undercover obviously. I don't want attention. I don't like attention. The best way to kill people is naturally. Food.'

Nerdy and Layla stared at their empty plates in dismay.

Back to School 15

Layla hit redial.

‘Yeah.’

‘Hey, it's me again.’ Layla said.

‘No really? I really didn't know. I saw my caller display saying Layla and I thought maybe it was Mallika Sherawat calling me.’

‘Listen, I don't need your sarcasm right now! I don't know where the hell I am, or how to get out!’ Layla was trying to keep calm.

‘What do you mean? Where are you?’

‘I told you! Aren't you listening to me! I. Don't. Know! I have that bloody exam tomorrow and I can't get there!’

‘No no. Don't try that with me. No excuses. I will ask you once more only, where are you?’

‘For fudge's sake man! You're bloody useless!’

‘Don't yell at me Layls, just look around you, what do you see?’

Layla looked around her. ‘I see...sand.’

‘What do you mean you see sand? Who asked you to go to the beach?’ The voice on the phone intoned.

‘No! Just sand, only sand. Like it's a bloody desert in the middle of nowhere!’

‘Don't lie to me.’

‘ I swear to God! I am not lying to you. There's sand as far as I can see. No point even trying to walk. It's just sand, sand, sand!’

‘Hmm. You got drunk?’

‘Ye...NO! I'm telling you! You're not listening to me! ARGGGGH’ Layla threw her phone as hard as she could. It went sailing like a sixer, slammed into a sand dune with a crash, and bounced straight off.

Nerdy sat up from where he was slumped on the sand.

‘What the hell? How's that possible.’ He walked closer to inspect the sand dune. Although there was sand all over the ground, he had a vague disturbing feeling. The sand was piling up against the same spot where the phone has smashed into, but in a very strange way, almost as if it was separate from the dune. He peered close, feeling the sand at his feet and then suddenly the dune opened out and before he could think, his head was slammed and he reeled backwards holding his head.

‘What the heck?’ He blinked away the faint stars buzzing in his vision. The sand dune had just opened up into a door!

‘What the f-!’ Layla swore from behind him.

A man entered, and closed the door behind him. He was holding a covered tray, and he walked over to a large hill of sand, pulled out a device and hit a button. The sand fell away, revealing a table and chairs. He set the tray down and motioned to Layla to join him.

Nerdy eyed the man as he was busy at the table, and reaching behind him, he scrabbled with his fingers to find the door. A crack, a handle, anything. His fingers weren't finding anything. He shot another look at the others then turned and frantically looked for the door. It was totally gone.

‘Ahem. If you would be so kind as to be seated?’ A voice spoke from right behind him. Nerdy froze and turned around, to come face to face with the tall man.

‘Err, sure, why ah.. not.’ Nerdyy managed. He shot a look at Layla in the background. Layla was gesturing frantically at the man's back, pointing and making strange faces. Nerdy couldn't understand a bit of it. He made a face back at her . The man raised an eyebrow, then turned to look at Layla. That was all Nerdyy needed. He jumped at the man, going for his neck. The man twisted and pushed Nerdy down. Nerdy tried kicking out at the man's legs and got a blow to his knees.

The man growled and winced. 'Don't make me hurt you, please.'

'Who's the one getting hurt, huh!' Layla taunted him. 'My hero can beat you anyday!'

The man frowned at her.

'Err, please don't say that Diyah.' Nerdyy said. 'I really need to hit the gym soon. So I'd rather not get hurt either.'

'Smart man.' The man put out a hand and helped Nerdyy up. 

'So, if you don't want to hurt us, what are you doing with us?' Nerdyy questioned as they walked to join Layla at the table.

The man reached into his pocket. 

'HEY! Don't even think about it pal!' Layla had her gun aimed at the man's head. She shuffled on her feet. 'You may be big and tough but trust me, I know how to shoot this gun!'

'Yes, she definitely does.' Nerdyy said.

'Oh I don't I know it.' The man rolled his eyes. 'Calm down, will you?' He slowly eased his hand out of his pocket, pulling out a little bottle.

'Hey. What's that, huh?' Layla looked suspiciously at the little bottle. The man clicked a top and squirted  clear fluid into his hands, rubbing his hands together briskly.

'Hand sanitzer.'

Back to School 14

‘Where the heck are you?’ The voice came over the speaker.

‘Ummm,’ Layla looked sideways at Nerdy and gulped.

‘What umm? You know you have an exam tomorrow? You should be home sleeping.’

‘Exam?’ Layla was baffled. ‘What exam? I don’t have any exam! Classes just started.’

‘Economics. You had the class today. Anyways, where are you, I’ll pick you up.’

‘Umm,’ Layla gulped again.

‘Okay, nevermind. Get home now!”

Layla breathed a sigh of relief as the call was disconnected.

‘Err, what was that about? Who was that?’ Nerdyy asked.

‘You don’t wanna know,” Layla fanned herself. ‘That was such a close call. If he found out I was with you, oh man, he would blow his top.’

‘Err, your boyfriend?’

Layla burst out laughing. ‘No ways! That was definitely not my boyfriend.’

‘Then who was it?’

‘Umm,’ Layla looked around shiftily.

‘Ok you don’t want to tell me. By the way, he’s right. I’m giving you guys an exam tomorrow.’

‘What the beep, man. Why you doing that for? Are you nuts?’ Layla threw a dirty look at Nerdy.

‘It was in the pre-class announcements. You had weeks to prepare, Lulu. Speaking of which, I need to get back and prepare for the exam myself.’

Nerdy was at the door. It wouldn’t open. ‘This darn thing is locked! Did you say DM gave us this room?’ He struggled with the door, trying to force it.

‘I’ll shoot you Romeyo! How dare you give meeee an exam! Meh!’

‘For gods sake, Lulu. The door won’t open. Forget about going to the exam, you’re not going to get to go anywhere!’

‘What are you talking about? I will open it, move aside. Watch the professional.’

‘Lulu, you’re half my size,I hardly thi-‘

He stopped as Layla shot the door handle off. She threw him a triumphant look and grabbed her bag and pulled the door open with a flourish.

‘How the hell does a pellet gun do all that?’ Nerdy grumbled behind her.

‘Nerdy…come ‘ere.’ Layla’s voice has a strange tone.

‘Hold on a sec, I’m just grabbing a few things.’ Nerdy replied as he grabbed a satchel and filled it with a few new bottles. ‘1879 single malt, what a year!’

‘Come HERE, Nerdyy!’ Layla’s voice was more insistent now. Nerdyy came up behind her.

‘What is it, Lulu?’

‘LOOK!’

Nerdy looked.

They were in the middle of nowhere.

Back to School 13

"Protection?" Layla stared at him.

"Yes?" Nerdy said tentatively.

"What the hell? Where have you been through all this. Hello! Of course, we used protection. I walk with it everywhere! You were the one complaining when I took it out for you!"

"Oh my God. I wasn't?" Nerdyy wasn't sure if he should sit or stand. His legs were feeling a bit weak, and yet, he wasn't sure it was right to sit on the bed again.

"You forgot it all! Here it is!" She rummaged in her bag again and brandished...her gun. "Here's my protection, my dear sweetcakes! Remember now?" She smiled at him and put her gun down, going back to brushing her hair.

Nerdyy stared at her, trying to untangle his thoughts. She's talking about her gun, so what's that mean? Is she still drunk? 

"Layla, what happened last night?"

"What do you mean, last night? You got soooo drunk man. And then DM- OMG You'll never guess what, I mean who! That bartender, the one who brought you in here when you fell off the table! GUESS WHO HE IS?"

"Oh please, I can't take the suspense. Don't tell me it's Zalim Rapist."

"No! It's DM! Can you believe this?" Layla stopped brushing her hair and sprang out of bed, the blankets falling off. Nerdyy winced and then blinked.

"Layla, your clothes."

Layla looked down at her clothes then looked back up at Nerdyy. "Yes, what about them?"

"They're, err, still on."

"Well, duhhhh! What did you thin-..." She stopped mid-sentence and stared at him. "Nerdyy! Wha...wait." She sat back down.

Nerdyy went and sat down beside her. "Um, nothing happened between you and I, right?"

"NO! Oh come on, no offense but, how would anything happen between us?"

"Err, you're the one with a degree in pulling men, remember. And I was fairly well intoxicated, judging by the throbbing in my head, and the fact I can't remember. But, really. Nothing happened right? I mean, no offense, but nothing can happen, we are, err, in a teacher and student situation."

"Romeyo! This is like...out of a Bollywood movie, man. What even made you think this? Even though I may seem otherwise, am a good girl. I don't do sheet like that."

Nerdy breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank God!"

"I know! Thank God! You are pretty damn fit but if anything happened my brother would..."

A phone started ringing. Layla and Nerdyy looked around. Layla rummaged in her bag and pulled out her phone, and looked at the readout.

"Oh no!"

Back to School 12

Nerdyy opened his eyes, and automatically squinted. "Oh man," he held his forehead. His head was throbbing. He gingerly sat up and looked around. It was dim, wherever he was. He had no idea what he was doing here. He shook his head, trying to clear the cobwebs, sudden movement made him jump up.

"What the hell!" He looked at the sleeping form of Layla, and slowly the memories came back to him, along with a growing sense of dread. "Oh man." He looked down at himself and then at the sleeping form of Layla.

He started pacing, mumbling to himself. How do I get out of this? How did it even happen? I need to go back to US right away. Emergency. Yes, tell them it's an emergency. NOW, man, now.

He took a gulp from his bottle. Then, swallowing, he stared at it. How the heck did this get in my hand now? He tossed it over his shoulder.

"OUCHHHHHHHHHH!" Layla yelped, sitting up and glaring bleary-eyed.  She grabbed the bottle and threw it back at Nerdy's head. He ducked and the bottle hit the door, thankfully not smashing.

Nerdyy stood stock still, hands in his pockets, looking at Layla guiltily.

"What?" Layla muttered. She pulled her bag onto the bed, rummaged around until she retrieved her mirror and brush. Brushing her hair, she threw another look at Nerdyy. "Well? What's the big idea, huh? You can shake me nicely and  I'll wake up, you don't have to throw bottles at me!"

"Err," Nerdyy was tongue-tied. Were they seriously going to pretend nothing happened? Communication, that's the key in every problem.  Yes, might as well. He cleared his throat.

"Err, Layla. Are we seriously going to pretend nothing happened?"

"Oh, don't gimme that! We made a mistake, so what? I'll be honest with you, I didn't expect all that to happen. But it was just the way things turned out. It was a shock to see you like that and have both of us do all that. But as you can see, we are still good to go!"

"Oh.Ah. Err. Are you sure you're okay, Layla?" Nerdyy swallowed.

"How many times do I have to tell you Romeyo? I'm a big girl I can take care of myself." She threw him a playful look. "You saw that for yourself. I'm good, aren't I?" She winked and grinned at him.

"Well, if you say so. I don't really remember anything of it." He cleared his throat again. I have to ask, it's only proper. He blurted it out. "We used protection, right?"

Back to School 11

"What do you mean, you've lost a body?" The bartender looked at a very tipsy Layla.

"I'm telling youuu! Oh you ain't lissening. Gimme another vodka lemonade, this thing is empty."

"As long as you're paying for it."

"Do I look like a bank? Takin' da piss. Romeyo will be paying!"

"Hmm. Who's Romeyo when he's at home?"

"Oh for God's sake." Layla looked around, "Romeyoooooooo? Oh Romeyooooooo?"

"Wherefore art thou Romeo? Deny thy father! Wefuse thy name!"

At the loud proclaimation, the crowd looked around, then up. Nerdyy was standing on a table, beer mug held aloft.

"There's Romeyooo!" Layla pointed gleefully.

"Helloooo, bebbeeeeeeeeee!" Nerdyy held a hand out for Layla and pulled her onto the table.

"Oh Romeyo, are you d d d drunk?" she giggled.

"Me and d d d drunk? I don't get drunk!" Nerdyy swayed.

"Hold on Romeyo, the boat is tipsy!" She grabbed him before he fell off the table entirely.

"Hmm. Listen you two," It was the bartender again. "Drink at the bar, dance on the floor, eat on the table. That's how it is here."

"NOW YOU LISTEN HERE!" Layla bent down and glared at the bartender.

"I'm listening little girl, and I don't like what I'm hearing."

"I want to speak to the MANAGER! NOW!" Layla almost fell off the table, and Nerdyy grabbed hold of her.

"I am the manager."

"Do you know who I am! Do you?"

"I don't really care either way. Just get off the table, nice and easy..."

"Hic!" Nerdyy lost balance and fell off the table.

"Romeyooooooo!" Layla scrambled down, got to her knees. "Look what you did! I'll sue you! This is your fault!"

"Hey, I didn't touch the guy," The bartender looked nervous. "But, I've got a room to the back, let's take him there."

They carried Nerdy, and passed behind the DJ. The DJ frowned at Layla as she peered over the speakers and mixers, checking him out up and down.

"Who's that?" Layla said, following the bartender into the room.

"Who's who?" The bartender placed Nerdy on a bed.

"That guy, the DJ!"

"What do you wanna know for?" The bartender looked at Layla with a raised eyebrow. He knew her type, he thought to himself. They all think they have a degree in pulling men.

"I swear to God, I've seen him somewhere before!"

"Yeah sure you have," the bartender smirked.

"So who is he?"

"I don't know."

"What do you mean you don't know? What kind of manager are you?"

"Listen, are you the Minister of Consumer Services or something? I don't need to answer your questions, little girl."

"No, belieeeeve me! I saw that guy somewhere, and I don't get good feelings about it. Maybe he's a murderer! You never know! So temme who he is!"

"I'm telling you, I don't know who he is. The DJ who was scheduled tonight got sick or something, this is his sub. He's doing a damn good job innit. "

Nerdy groaned from the bed. "Nerdyyy! You okay?" Layla knelt down on the bed.  Nerdy pried his eyes open.

"I think I'm fine. I need a drink!"

Layla looked around the room and grabbed a bottle. "Here, have this!"

"Hey hey. That's my most expensive bourbon. There's a reason it's stored back here and not at the bar."

"Listen mister, whatever your name is...Hey what's your name anyways?"

"Why do you need to know?"

"Just tell me! Are you a criminal or something that you're scared to give your name?"

"I'm no more a criminal than you are, little girl."

Layla opened her mouth to answer, then closed it sheepishly. She looked sideways at Nerdy, as if waiting for him to say something. Nerdy was laid back, happily sipping from the expensive bourbon bottle, a king in his castle.

"Okay. If it makes any difference, you can call me DM."

Back to School 10

The music was thrumming, throbbing, pulsing. The laser lights were all over the place, and it was dim and crowded.

"Err. Are you sure this is the place?" Nerdy looked around aghast.

Layla beamed, already moving to the music, "Yeah! Isn't it great! I always wanted to come 'ere, but no one ever wanted to come!"

"I can see why," Ether sniffed the air.

"Whaat!" Layla shot a glare over at him.

A photographer started taking pictures of the group, and Layla forgot her glare as she grinned, posing for the camera.

"Layla is this place even legal?" Jiya inched closer to the Nerdy and Ether, away from some men looking worse for the wear.

"Yes! It's legit! Cmon Romeyo, let's dance!" Layla grabbed his hand and pulled him onto the dance floor.

...

Ether looked at Jiya. Jiya made a face.

"So, what do we do now?"

"I don't know.." Jiya looked around helplessly. "This isn't my kind of scene."

"What's your kind of scene then?"

"Well, you know. I like calm. Tranquility. Meditation and stuff."

"Okay then, we'll do what you like!"

"What? How? Here!" Ether tugged Jiya's elbow and they disappeared.

....

"HEY! Oh my God. Nerdy. Jiya and Ether disappeared!"

"What are you talking about?" Nerdy looked around the crowded floor. "How can you even see them?"

"I was watchin' them. I was feeling a li'l bad, so I was going to call them over! But they disappeared all of a sudden!"

Nerdy looked around. All he could see in the crowd was...crowd. He took Layla's hand and pulled her back to where they'd left Jiya and Ether.

"Hmm. Yeah, they've definitely disappeared. How the heck does that happen? Maybe they went back to the car to check on IQ?"

Earlier, they'd driven Ether's car to the back entrance of the hospital and carried IQ through unnoticed and had lain her onto the back seat. That was before they realized it was going to be a tight squeeze trying to fit everyone else in. Layla, of course, came up with the solution. So they had ended up bundling a still unconscious IQ into the trunk.

"Yeah! That must be it!" Layla turned quickly and marched to the entrance.

Nerdy sighed, and followed. "Layla, where are you going now?"

"Obviously I'm going to check on my Rasgulla! You think I will let anyone else show they care about her more? Those two are trying to beat me! Come on, let's go make sure she's sleeping sweetly."

"Err. I don't think she's sleeping, exactly. And even if she is, how sweet do you think she'd be in the trunk of a car?"

"Shut up Romeyo. Am tellin' you! It was for the best, what if someone looked into the car when we were in there? They might think that was a dead body and called the police! Imagine!"

They reached the car. No one else was around, the lot was empty and dark, but for the few street lights scattered around the lot.

"They aren't here, Lulu."

"Well, they must have gone to the loo! Great! So, we can check on Rasgullah! Give me the keys." She put out her hand like a doctor asking for the scalpel.

"Err, in case you didn't realize. This is Ether's car. I don't have the keys."

"What!" She tossed a look at Nerdy, standing there with his hands in his pockets. "Okay nevermind, that's not a problem." She pulled out a hairpin and stuck it into the trunk's keylock.

Nerdy did a doubletake. "Wha...Layla! You're breaking into his car now?"

"Oh come on. Don't be a sissy, Romeyo. IQ is in 'ere. We have to make sure she's fine." She twisted her hand as she tested the lock.

The lock clicked. She shot Nerdy a triumphant smile and gestured at the trunk. "Tada!"

The trunk opened up. Empty.

Back to School 9

"Umm," Layla looked around bored.

Nerdyy was dozing in his chair. Jiya and Ether were comparing notes. IQ was knocked out cold.

"Ummm," Layla intoned a little louder.

"AHMMM. HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Layla yelled.

Nerdy fell off his chair. Jiya and Ether looked up blinking.

Jiya frowned at Layla. "Hey. Keep it down! This is a hospital. We're not even supposed to have a body here. Do you want us to get in trouble? No. I didn't think so."

Layla stared at Jiya stunned, then seemed to gather her wits. "Hey! Don't talk to meh like that! Am so bored! Can't we do something fun?"

Ether cleared his throat. "Hmm. Layla, we have a woman who is in a state of unconsciousness arising from some illness or other that we cannot understand. All we do know is that you  are the reason for her being," He counted on his fingers. "One, shot at, two, tumbling down the precipice in the woods, three, put into a hospital, and four, being knocked unconscious again, with a bedpan no less."

"Listen, you can keep yapping, but I swear, I'll knock your head out if you speak to me like that!"

Jiya sighed. "So then what do you suggest we do?"

"No! No one ever listens to what I say. You all think I'm a bimbo. I know am not so smart like you all but trust meee, I can think too."

Jiya looked at Ether. "Layla, none of us have any better idea. We're just guessing. I promise you whatever you say, we'll do it."

Ether interjected. "Now, I don't think that's such a goo-"

"See what I mean!" Layla crossed her arms. "Whateva man. Just do whatever you bloody want."

"No, Layla I didn't mean it like that." Ether gulped. "I just ah, yes we'll do whatever you think.." He shot a look at Jiya, and she nodded.

"Come on guys. I swear to God. No one loves Rasgullah more than I do! I promisee you! I love her more than a sister! You think I don't feel bad? This is my Rasgullah here and I tell you again, nobody loves her more than I do! I would do anything for her!"

Jiya sighed again. "So what's the plan Layla?"

Layla smiled, "We go clubbing!"

Nerdy yawned from the floor, rubbing his eyes.

Back to School 8

The doctor was examining the police officer, who was, to her relief, not dead. The symptoms were strange. There were no bodily wounds to be found anywhere, and her heart and ECG signals were normal. But she wouldn't wake up!

The doctor sat down and swivelled to the computer where she sat in thought, tapping the pen to her cheek. This is so strange, yet I know I've seen this before. There was no identification on the body, no one to contact for the Jane Doe who was just in all black attire. Stranger and stranger.

She picked up a phone and made a call. No answer. She dialled again, this time an internal number. 

"Hey it's me. Yes, please. Can you come down to my study room? Yes, by the emerg. Thanks. Hey, don't tell anyone. No, I'll tell you. Just come." She put down the phone and flipped through some notebooks.

The door flew open. She didn't look up, "That was fast."

"Fast? Yeah I know, am fast, I jog every morning so it was easy to race back fast. See I told you Romeyo, am fit and fine."

The doctor spun around. "What!"

The crazy girl and a tall handsome man was with her. "Hey stay away from me! I don't know who you are, but someone is on the way. If you come close I'll... slap you!"

"Hey, hey, hey." Nerdy held up his hands in peace. "Calm down doctor, we're not here to hurt you. We came to see our friend."

"Your friend? What kind of person dumps their friend's body and runs away?"

"Rasgullahhhh!" Layla ran to the police officer. "Wake up please! I didn't mean to hurt you! I thought you were a police officer so I had to run! Oh my God! Is she okay?"

"I don't know, to be hone-"

The door opened again, admitting another fellow in white lab coat.

"Who is that!" Layla backed up suddenly. "What's he doin' ere? He can't be here!"

"This is my um, colleague. I called him to check on your friend."

"You don't know what's wrong with her?" Nerdy looked worried, perching on a stool to the side. Layla sat on the examining table by the police officer.

"No, I'm not a doctor you see. I'm just an intern, sort of."

"What! What a waste of talent man! I thought you were a doctor so I was acting so well!" Layla rolled her eyes.

"Listen, something is wrong with her. I have a feeling I know what. So if you don't mind..." The intern motioned to her colleague.

"I'm sensing the consciousness is being filtered into a subliminal state of the oblivion and the soul is incurring negative vibrations through the pituitary gland with cross interference from another frequency."

"Say WHAT?" Nerdy and Layla made faces.

"I think what Jiya is trying to say," the colleague said thoughtfully."There exists some causality which is undermined by a force, most likely electromagnetic, that has disrupted the processing of her consciousness."

"Jiya?" Layla stared in shock. 

"Yes?" Jiya looked around nervous. "Are you going to kidnap me now that you know my name?"

"Romeyo, it's Jiya!" Layla looked over at Nerdy.

"Who's Jiya?" Nerdy scratched his head.

"I'm Jiya!" Jiya looked around indignantly. 

"Jiyaaa! It's me Layla!"

"Layla who?" Jiya looked around uncertainly.

"Uh excuse me, but who are you people exactly?" Jiya's colleague asked.

"Oh my God! I don't believe this! I'm Layla and this is my hero, Romeyo! Sorry, I mean Nerdy."

"Layla....Nerdy?" the colleague repeated, bemused.

"Layla and Nerdy?" Jiya's jaw dropped open. "No. You're lying. Who are you? This is a big joke right? I know it, where are the cameras?"

"Jiyaa, I don't think this is a joke. I feel it must be them."

"Err, you know us?" Nerdy looked at Jiya's colleague.

"Not really. No, not as well as Jiya does. I'm Ether, and it's okay if you don't know who I am." Ether smiled at everyone benignly. 

"Laylaa and Nerdyy?" Jiya still looked shocked.

"AS I WAS SAYING BEFORE I WAS SO RUDELY INTERRUPTED. Three point one four one five nine two six five three five eight nine seven nine three two three eight four six.."

"Oh my God she's awake!" Layla looked at the police officer. Everyone rushed over.

"Three three eight three two seven nine five.."

Jiya examined her. "No, she's not really awake. She's conscious but not lucid."

"Two eight eight four one nine seven one six nine three nine."

"Oh my god shut her up! I can't hear all these numbers! Givin' me a headache!" Layla looked around and grabbed a bedpan.

Banggg! 

Silence.

Back to School 7

Leaving the body behind a bush, they snuck into a side door by the emergency entrance. Looking through the corridors, they observed the nurses stations and the bustle as doctors and patients travelled through the halls to side rooms.

"Owww!" Nerdy gasped, as Layla elbowed him.

"Romeyoo! Look there, that doctor isn't doing anything. You think we can take her on?"

"Err, taking her on isn't exactly my choice of words, but I guess we can persuade her to look at the cop.."

....


Layla snuck up behind the doctor, a young looking woman wearing a white lab coat, peering through a clipboard in front an empty room.

The doctor turned around and jumped, startled.

"Hi!" Layla grinned at the doctor, smoothing her hair down.

"Eh. Hello." The doctor eyed Layla's hair that was all tangled with broken leaves.

"Ya. So, I was wonderin...What do you do...in that room?" Layla grinned and nodded towards the room behind the doctor.

"I...Are you a patient?" The doctor looked around for help.

"Me? A patient? Haha, oh my God, no! What makes you think that? I was just, ahm...wonderin, you see!" Layla kept grinning at the doctor. Oh my god, my cheeks are hurting.

"Wondering what I do in this room? Are you sure...you didn't esca...I mean, wander here from the psyc ward?" 

"I want to see inside the room. Please please please please please please?" Layla bounced at the doctor.

"Oh for God's sake. Okay, why not? Come on in." The doctor turned around and led Layla into the room.

All of a sudden, the door slammed shut.

The doctor turned around. There was a dead body on the examining table, and no sign of the crazy girl.

"What the..."


.....

Tweak, tweak, tweak, tweak.

"Hahaha," Layla laughed out loud. "See! We did it!"

"Phew! We sure did. I was worried they'd ask me where I was going with my "drunk" friend I was dragging along." Nerdy huffed.

They were riding down the empty road, on the path to freedom once again.

"Layla, do you mind if we take a little breather? I'm sort of winded after that last bit going uphill."

Tweak, tweak,... tweak.

Layla got off the handlebars.

Nerdy dismounted and looked down at the pink tricycle with frilly ribbons.

"You know, I'm pretty sure that we could have just walked away from there. We didn't need to steal this....thing."

"No! Am telling you Romeyo! We had to, there were strange people watchingg us! I saw them watching me! I was feeling so nervous! I swear to god."

"Yeah, but I have never, ever ridden a darn tricycle. I'm a fully grown man! Don't you dare tell anyone about this. If you do I will tell them about how you almost killed that police officer!"

"I did not kill the cop!"

"And robbed the cop also!"

"I did not rob the....Hey, how did you know that?"

"I saw you do it, Lulu.  You walked away with her wallet! That has to be another crime right there!"

"Oh come on! It is not." Layla perched on a rock and opened the wallet. "Oooh, look at all this money!" She took the money out and tossed the wallet aside.

As Layla counted out the bills, Nerdy dropped to the grass and snatched the wallet with his fingers. He idly went through the identification. "Ivy Quicksilver...

"Ivy Quicksilver? What kind of name is that? That has to be a made up name." Nerdy shook his head.

"Yeah well look at your name, Mister birth certificate Nerdyy Khan." Layla kept counting.

"No, there is something about this name. And..." He pulled out the photo identification, and stared at it.

"Holy pastrami! Lulu!" Nerdy jumped up, eyes wide. "Do you know who you just almost killed?!"

Back to School 6

Nerdy got down and pulled off the police officer's cap. "Whoa!" A cascade of long hair came down. "This isn't a him. This cop is a woman."

"Oh no! That's worse!" Layla looked close to tears.  "I didn't kill her, did I?"

"Hmm. No, I don't think you did. I can sense a heartbeat."

"What! How? You're feelin' her up when she could be dead! You bein' pervy! Romeyo!"

"No! I...Lulu! I'm not even going to answer that. Geez."

"Ok fine. So what do we do? We can't just leave her here!" Layla looked around the darkening forest and shivered.

"No we definitely could not just leave her here. That would be closer to attempted murder than I'd be wanting to get."

"Murder? What did you do!" She threw the gun at Nerdy again.

"Layla. We've been over this. Stop blaming me, will you? I thought I was your Krishna and you were Radha, we're supposed to be..err, homies."

"Look, I ain't got time for this. I need to be home for Hollyoaks! Or wait, maybe I can call my sister to put it on record." She pulled out her phone.

"Layla, we have a body here and this cop needs medical attention. I know how much you love your tv shows, but this is more important okay."

"Whatever. There's no network on my phone! Taking the piss, man." She looked at Nerdy who was trying to lift the police officer.

"Yes, you can help me anytime now," Nerdy grunted.

"What? You're a big strong man. Am sure you can handle it," Layla observed with her hands on her hips.

"Layla! It's almost dead weight - almost dead thanks to you, need I remind you. So a little help please?"

"Oh ok! Sorry Romeyo." She grabbed onto the police officer's feet and they carried the body through the foliage, and finally reached a path. They lugged the body down the path, looking warily around for any passersby.

"Listen, Romeyo, there's a hospital sort of, that's part of the university. It's just right there. Shall we take her there?"

"Good idea Lulu. Only thing is, err what if they ask questions and look at us, we're all covered in mud and leaves and stuff."

"It's ok Romeyo. I got us covered. Extreme something means extreme measures!"

"Why don't I like the sound of that?"

"Romeyo! You gotta be bad sometimes. That's how you get da girls." She winked at him. "So, are you with me or not?"

"I really don't have much choice now do I? Ok let's do it bebbeeeeeeeeee"

Back to School 5

From outside, the loud blaring voice came again. "We have you surrounded! Do not try to escape! Come out with your hands up on the count of seven!"

"Seven?" Layla made a face. "What kind of police are these people? They can't count to ten or what?"

"ONE!"

"Layla! We have to go, it's the only right thing to do." Nerdy breathed in deeply.

"TWO!"

"No man! I ain't going out there! I aint going to get arrested! You go if you want! I have nothing to do with that!"

"THREE!"

"I can't! They'll arrest me! I didn't do a thing. If you came with me, we could explain everything. They'll have to understand, you have to trust me Lulu."

"THREE POINT ONE FOUR ONE FIVE NINE TWO SIX FIVE THREE FIVE EIGHT NINE SEVEN NINE...Ouch! Yo, what was that for?"

"Something is seriously wrong with that police," Layla commented.

"Umm. Yes, I'd be inclined to agree except that I actually find that quite intriguing." Nerdy tapped his chin thoughtfully.

"FOUR."

"In three what? Don't waste my time, we need to get out of ere!" Layla looked around. "Ok, there's a side door over there, where does that go!" She rushed to it and then squeaked.

"Oh my God, there's a big, scary looking cop over there with a big gun!"

"FIVE."

Nerdy peered through the little window set in the door and winced. Indeed, a tall and well-muscled man was crouching outside the door, as if ready to storm it.

They backed away from the door. "Right, so that's out of the question. So what do we do..."

"CRACK!" Nerdy spun around at the sound of breaking glass. Layla was standing in front the window with a chair held aloft.

"I got it Romeyo! We'll escape this way! They won't expect a thing. Look there's bushes right down here around the window. We can sneak through the bushes and run into the forest over there."

"What the..."

"SIX!"

"C'mon! Quick!" Layla crawled through the windows and jumped off the windowsill into the bushes below.

"I am never coming back to UK in my life, ever!" Nerdy declared, and with that, he jumped through the window.



"Romeyo! Over here!" Layla crawled through the bushes. Nerdy crawled after her.

"I'm so smart! We'll get out free in enough time to get home and watch Hollyoaks!" Layla grinned to herself.

"Layla, you know I love you, just at the very moment err, I think I'd rather be doing something I usually hate, like...like...eating tofu."

"Ew, don't mention that stuff man! That's disgusting. You want me to puke on you or what?"

"Freeze!" Suddenly a voice spoke right behind them.

"Oh my God, run!" Layla took off like a marathon runner, with Nerdy right behind her.

They raced through the foliage of the forest surrounding the campus. They could hear their follower's footsteps doggedly catching up to them.

As they hit a downward hill, Layla spun around and pulling out her gun, shot towards their pursuer. She tripped, going down, and crashing into Nerdy, they both went down over a steep decline.

"Aahhhhhh!" Layla landed on Nerdy.

Both breathing hard, they looked at one another.

"You know Nerdy, you look so cute like this too." She grinned at him.

"What? Layla, this isn't the place or the time..."

Suddenly a body rolled down the incline above them and dropped on them. Layla screamed and rolled out of the way.

"Oh my God!" She looked at the body.

"Oh my God." Nerdy looked at the body and looked at Layla. "This is the police officer. You shot him!"

"No! I didn't mean to kill him!" Layla kneeled down frantically and poked the police officer. "Wake up. You have to wake up. Oh my God!"

Back to School 4

"Oh my god!" Layla squeaked. "The police are here! Why? What did you do?" She quickly threw the gun at Nerdy and wiped her hands on her skinny jeans.

"Wait!" Nerdy caught the gun reflexively. "What did I do?" 

"Yes, duhh. You're the one with the gun." Layla looked up at the ceiling, twirling a strand of hair.

"Hey...Wait a darn minute! I didn't do anything! This is your gun." Nerdy dropped the gun quickly. "Don't try to blame me now Diyahh. One second ago you were trying to shoot me down for ignoring you and now you're going to let me get arrested?"

"All I know is I am innocent." Layla sidled up to a window and peered out. "I got things to do, Hollyoaks to watch, I can't afford getting arrested."

"Oh and you think I don't have anything better to do? So what to I tell the police? Oh okay, I'm sorry this has Layla's fingerprints all over the gun and the fact there are so many eye witnesses to report that they saw LAYLA shoot the gun numerous times, but I'm the one you must arrest because Layla has to watch Hollyoaks? Yeah I'm so sure that will work."

"Yes, eggzakly!" Layla rummaged in her bag and pulled out her phone. 

Nerdy shook his head and peered out a window. There were swarms of police cars outside, lights flashing and crowds of students and faculty behind the barricade of cruisers. Nerdy ran a hand through his hair. Holy shmoly, how did I get into this? There is no way I can explain myself out of this. They'll take me in for...for what? I was the one who was shot AT! Ahhhhhh. This is a storm out the door moment and I can't even do that without getting arrested!

Nerdy turned around again from the window. And slapped his forehead.

Layla was singing and dancing away to music on her phone. "Lets do it do it do it! I wanna dancee! And lovee! And dance againnnn. I wanna danceeee and love and dance again! La la la! Dance, YES! Love, next! Dance, yes, love next! La la la!"