I read a poem on the transit coming home today...and it struck me, stuck to me, in the ways words do:
And I shall tell him that the thought of him
turns me to water
and when his name is spoken pale still sky
trembles and breaks and moves like blowing water
that winter thaws its frozen drifts in water
all matter blurs, unsteady, seen through water
and I, in him, dislimn, water in water?
As true: the thought of him
has made me marble
and when his name is spoken blowing sky
settles and freezes in a dome of marble
and winter seals its floury drifts in marble
all matter double-locks as dense as marble
and I, in others' eyes, am cut from marble.
And of course it had to bring to mind the one who makes one feel all this- through, within, without, wherefore, and all the prepositionals that pertain to the emotion. THE emotion. Does one even label it as an emotion? It's a noun, it's a verb, it's...like the universal solvent, a universal solution..yet, not the physical entity as defined by science, but the solution as in the counterpart of the puzzle.
It made me think, how does one FEEL that ... amazing feeling, and it brought to mind the idea that to feel that extremity of emotion indicates a novelty in the experience of it. That it means you're just beginning, that it's a phase that phases out. Why should it be so however, I questioned. Bringing to mind again that line from a book which concluded that it was the lack of... that was the entirety. That it was in ..wanting. Which took me to the train of thought (apt enough for being on the train itself)... that the query asking for the difference between 'falling in love' and 'being in love' could be differentiated in ascertaining that falling had to do with wanting..and love itself in giving. To have only one indicates an imbalance, and therefore to want and to give and... perhaps, to want to give as well as to receive and be wanted in return, sums up the ultimate balance in attaining that ultimate contentment.
And that contentment, at the moment I was thinking all of this is what made me more than grateful for all the little parts that led to the whole. Somehow jumping and sometimes missing the little slippery stones trying to not fall in and drown did in fact lead to the dream island. Wherefore next?
