Saturday, December 26, 2015

Aint nobody be pooping in my pot

'Babe, are we having a Christmas party this year?'

'Yep, of course we are.'

'Um, really? After last year?'

'Especially after last year,' I stretched out my legs from my position on the couch and smirked satisfactorily.

Christmas last year:

House guest: Hi where's your bathroom?

Me: go out the backdoor, through the backyard, then let yourself out the backyard gate, then head left along the field fence, then when you reach the opening, turn right into the football fields, walk thirty paces straight ahead, when you reach a copse of five deciduous trees and seven coniferous trees, count the third tree from the north and underneath you shall find a hole dug for your defecatory purposes.



This year:

'Well, whose coming to the party?'

'You, me, and the cat.' I popped a pretzel in my mouth and listened to it crunch contentedly.


  1. Was about to ring the doorbell! Almost.

  2. Was about to ring the doorbell! Almost.