Anyways. Whatever. I've always been a blogger so taking advantage of the opportunity here is just like filling another pair of shoes. Speaking of my blogs, a few of the really really old ones are gone, some deleted because of sudden changes of heart...and some just gone because their servers were that old.
I visited one of of my older ones today, after a dream that has been a recurring theme since as far back as I can remember.
LOL I found this really old one from way back when and its pretty refreshing remembering being young and full of hyperness and happiness and craziness.
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HELLO
yes this is me, the great, the magnificent, the wondrous... ME!
(hold ur applause)
nehow, i was intending to let myself go a bit loose n ramble a bit, but im kinda runnin out of time rite now as it is. I've got less than ten minute hahahah. oh well. Any how, this is ME, intending to really really do something really new about this page. its so DRAB. its DEAD. its... bah.
as it is, time has passed, we've changed. hahahah my music tastes have DEFINITELY changed. (GO BHANGRAAAA!!!)
or not :P
heheheh ok ok ... so me's off for now :D dont get too worried if i seem too normal for u ppl. its a phase. i repeat. a phase. :D okiedokiedootsidoo.
This is YOURS TRULY signin off. gnite, take care, sweet dreams. may the force b with ya.. alvida.
It's like taking a peek back in a photo album and reseeing yourself as a 12 year old. At the time you thought you might have looked geeky or whatever, but when you see yourself then now, you realize you pretty much held the world in your hands.
Sometimes I feel like I'll always be that kid. I can't really imagine myself being less than a child at heart even when I am old. It stuns me sometimes thinking that hey, I'm at this age, and soon I'll reach an age that people really do consider "old". What about my friends, what about all our fun times together. What happens when this person gets married, and that person has children. When we become immersed in another generation. All that stuff that makes up what's called 'adult'. I know I'm an adult. But, .. not REALLY?
Right. So back to the recurring theme in my dreams. I know it's sort of totally filmy, but I can't help it happening to me. Here is the blog I wrote at the time:
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First, I found "the one" ...only i don't know who he is...i had this weird weird dream..it was so realistic yet so..weird..and the dude..my "one" ...he was...okie, characteristically, tall, fair, sensitive, very funny, charming, confidant, outgoing though sortof shy-ish, in a thoughtful way....sportyish...i see him now, but i just can't see him..if that makes sense..its like i know how he is..but he's in this shadow..u know how dreams are..hehe reminds me of Kajol in DDLJ:
aisa pehli baar hua hai satrah atharah salo mein ...
okay so i don't noe wat it means but...thats the idea anyhow
just...oh idk
Aisa pehli baar hua hai satrah atharah salo mein
Un dekha anjanna koi aane laga hai khayalon mein
Aankhon ki khidki per ek sayaa sa lehraata hai
Dil ke derwaze per koi dastak de ke jata hai
Gherri gherri kaali aankhen, mujse mujko puchhatti hai
Hathoan ki rekhaon mein ek chehra sa ban jatta hai
Uski sanse resham jaisi gallo ko chu jaati hai
Uske hathoan ki khushboo hai ab tak mere ballo mein
Aisa pehli baar hua hai satrah atharah salo mein
Un dekha anjanna koi aane laga hai khayalon mein....
And for almost 10 past years, it's like a haunting figure in my dreams. And it's always the same ..idea..of him, like I know it's always the same person, and yet I don't know who he is exactly. It's frustrating!! even though I know it could just be my own mind playing games, but there is some magical feeling like, even when I awake, that whoever he is, he really makes me happy, he makes me feel loved, and like .. hmm, well that we were made for each other! I don't know. Just thinking of that same feeling disturbs me, not in a bad way, but makes me wish I could ..solve.. this mystery, in some way. It's like not being able to see clearly and needing glasses or something and knowing you could, except you cant. AGGHHHHH. Sometimes, I wake up with that feeling like I've fallen in love. And that feeling is just so amazing. And sometimes I still have that feeling that I know him, that he is someone I know...and I just can't... put it together.
I wish I knew who my prince charming was :(:(. I know I sound like a bit filmy, but it's me, and I know I sound like a little kid, but hey, it's me. I just can't get over that feeling, like we complete each other so...completely ARG :( 😥😥😥😤😤😤😣😡😢
Anyways recently saw DDLJ again.. I guess it's one of those faves that don't get less with time
. And seeing it was like a brain flash because it felt like someone out there understood this 'thing' that 'happened' to me.... I remember times when every scene was something special and... just ...IDONTKNOW!!! =)...Mere khwaabon mein jo aaye
Aake mujhe chhed jaaye
Usse kaho kabhi saamne to aaye
Mere khwaabon mein jo aaye
Aake mujhe chhed jaaye
Usse kaho kabhi saamne to aaye
Mere khwaabon mein jo aaye
Kaisa hai, kaun hai woh, jaane kahan hai
Ho, kaisa hai, kaun hai woh, jaane kahan hai
Jiske liye mere honton pe haan hai
Apna hai ya begaana hai woh
Sach hai ya koi afsaan hai woh
Dekhe ghoor ghoor ke yunhi door door se
Usse kaho meri neend naa churaaye
Mere khwaabon mein jo aaye
Aake mujhe chhed jaaye
Usse kaho kabhi saamne to aaye
Mere khwaabon mein jo aaye..
okie reminder to self to find translation!!
Hmmmm...Ummmmm I hope we meet.. even if it's even still in dreams. (=
