Ashiyaan
I can’t blame you for leaving. Leaving the way you did. Leaving just like that. Or like in the Teri Yaad Bahut mix;
“she (he) left you
Left you
Without a note
Telling you
She (he) left you…”
So you left. You were gone. You are gone.
When we are faced with circumstances we cant comprehend, which leave us without answers, which in fact hurt us deep down, somewhere where it is so deep that when it hurts you can’t feel it, because it’s left you numb with the pain of it. When we just cannot fathom how such things happen, we want to instinctively turn this way and that trying to finger blame wherever we think is apt. but after the storm dies down, what are you left with but the puddles?
Because I were to look back father, I never thought that I would have met a person like you. And now that you are gone, I can sit here listening to my Winnie The Pooh mp3 that I hadn’t touched in months and relive the feelings the songs bring back.
naseebon mein jaane likha aur kya,
hain kismat mein apni chupa aur kya
yeh fikre khudaai tu chod ke
apni tamannao ko rang de
iske siva jeena hai aur kya
jam gaya so gaya woh kal bhul ke
aaj ki maauj mein chala jhool ke
ho jashn kaisa jhoome jahaan
aaye na aaye kal kya pata
aashiyaan ban gaya mera dil aaj se…
Hope.
Purity.
Goodness.
Innocence.
Truth.
Honesty.
Laughter.
Friendship.
You gave me so much. So much that was already myself. You taught me so much. All that was there but indistinctive from the rest that was already me. You showed me that the person I wanted to be, the person I was constantly in search of, that person was no other than ‘I’. You were like a mirror held up, reflecting what I could be, by simply being me.
Through you, I dared, because I knew you were there. I dared because daring was not so much a risk than it was to be me. For whatever reasons you came into my life, you were the light that dazzled the eyes and when you suddenly left, it was like plunging into darkness, until I realized that you were always simply the mirror showing me what I hadn’t seen before.
aaj ko baandh lu main in zulfon se
thaam lu main yeh pal meri palkon se
ho jashn aaisa jhoome jahaan
aaye na aaye kal kya pata
aashiyaan ban gaya mera dil aaj se..
