Friday, August 02, 2013

F for Friendship


“Each friend represents a world in us, 
a world possibly not born until they arrive, 
and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.” 
― Anaïs Nin

Through the long and weary march of life, there surrounded me the tread of my comrades. In that knowledge, no matter how hard the path, how cold the rains, somehow I was able to keep on, because they were there.

What would life be without friendship? I cannot truly fathom the answer. Aristotle once wrote that a man could not be good without society; we’ve heard it said that we cannot be an island to survive. We are thrust among millions of beings who differ only by the minutest gene – is it any wonder that we need to create relations with one another?

Our ability to build friendships reflects our inner state of being; our capacity to rejoice in the companionship and fellowship with another being, to embrace that humanity in the other, and cherish that meeting of minds – that is what demonstrates a singular development of a person’s soul. All our knowledge and all our goodness; what is that if we cannot stretch out our hand to another person to share it?

Laughter. That’s what comes first to mind when I think of my memories with friends. Even when I was in the darkest places, even when I wasn’t able to open up and share my pain with anyone, I still was able to laugh because I had friends who would be silly and crazy. Sometimes, that was even better than sharing the pain, because they weren’t conscious or awkward. Laughter is the most beautiful subset of life, and it’s so perfect that it comes so naturally with friendship. However temporary, that is a happiness of its own.

And though it’s taken me a long time to really get to this point: the ability to open up and share your thoughts, your dreams, your worries, your fears. To expose those innermost vulnerabilities and discover that doing so is healing of its own kind. The ability to share has manifold benefits that echo over and over and out and beyond, ripples that take root so deeply within one’s psyche. To share, and furthermore—to be understood.

“Me too!” acts like glue. That ability to comprehend and relate is a magnetic and irresistible force field. And quite the opposite, to come across differences in another person allows us to grow because we learn more and expand our own cognitive horizon.

Sharing is caring. So we’ve all heard. It works both ways, no matter what direction the flow is. Even when you are giving, upon that open connection there is something coming back – however intangible and however imperceptible – you’re getting something back, and that is the essence of acknowledgement of existence; in friendship, it is called care. That’s what makes us warm inside; to know we are cared for, respected, appreciated, and loved.

Friendship is love, of course, but when you really try to get a grip on it, when you squint in the glare of the light trying to get a clearer glimpse of what this phenomenon is, it’s something unique unto itself. 


There's a gift of quiet blessing only friendship can impart, 
for a friend shares life with gentle hands, kind words and a caring heart.


9 comments:

  1. If anything, I feel it's friendship that helps us endure through our grief. Just knowing that we have someone that will be there in light or dark.

    And just wondering, is the next letter E?

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    1. Did you buy that vowel? It just might be the winning letter Ms. Wanda.

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  2. Oh yes..... LIFE :P Wonder what E would be hmmmm Environment? :O

    and I concur with all of the said above :ehm

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    1. love + inspiration + friends = existence aka LIFE :P

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    2. Wah wah. We shall have to wait and see Mr. Smoke :D

      Lol nerdyy you doofus

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  3. "think where mans glory most begins and ends
    and say my glory was i had such friends "

    :P how appropriate - the month and the topic :D

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  4. Someone once said that if there is at least one person in this world who thinks that you are right, then you should not stop doing what you are doing. When that thing which you are doing is existing, having friends is an assurance that someone really thinks that you should continue to exist. At other times dealing with normal questions of needs and wants of all sorts too, at each step of human development from basic needs to self realization, anyone who connects at a level above mere gain and loss and creates an environment with me, at times selfless "sharing and caring", some closer some farther is my friend. Earlier I avoided using that word 'friend' because I wondered who is a friend and who is a colleague or an associate. Ambiguities still exist. Still at times something tells me that yes, this person is not just a colleague or an associate but is a friend. At times that voice gets let down by following experiences, at times with a little work a relation of friendship flourishes. Still no reasoning to conclusively say who is a real friend. What we can do I guess is to pick ones you feel like trusting and try to fit the person into a mutually enriching world or fit yourself into theirs, bringing worlds together or filling gaps in it, hope that it is worth it and live it, keep cautions with distance both growing or closing too much into. I know that at this time and stage of life we need not formalize or theorize these things, its as simple as breathing and we have well developed instincts to do what should be, although at times conscious efforts are needed though.

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    1. Yes, I was thinking, all the while I was writing this about friendship, that many of said past friendships have detached, decimated, and dissipated. Though it's quite sad and troubling, not to mention quite heart-breaking at some instances, somehow I've been able to relinquish the bitter and the angst, because like I've written before- everything that had occurred has brought me here in the life I live today, and some of the things (which are, specifically, friendships) I am so thankful for today are those I would not have had if those friendships had broken, if perhaps I hadn't mistaken an acquaintance or a friend of a friend for a very good friend, if I hadn't put more of myself into that relationship and gotten hurt.... you know what I mean. I've been more cautious about forming very close friends, though I am quite friendly overall, but for very close friendships, it either takes a very long time for me to feel it is what it is, or it's something that happens right away and there is no looking back. Sure there are lots of ups and downs but that's what makes the bond stronger and more special :D Live and learn, I guess. It's life.

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