Thursday, September 26, 2013

Diary of A Besharami

Often in the public washrooms* there happens to be that one stall with the lock broken, or just plain busted off. That's my stall.

Oh, I didn't mean to say that I was responsible for such a depraved act of vandalism. No, indeed. I do have my limits. But rather, that's the stall I use for my... business. No, no, not selling weed. (Or other suchlike.)

I don't like using public toilets (*:I had once been asked, by my very Yankified relative, why I call it a 'washroom'. I logically laid out the fact that one often uses the utilities to wash one's hands and face. He insisted it's called a bathroom. I put forth the fact that no bath existed in the room. He refused to budge, stating that a bathroom without a bath was called a half-bath. Anyways, that is just one of a few reasons of why I just simply call the washrooms "toilets" here forth). I like cleanliness, and using such utilities often represents the opposite. However, there are always going to be those instances where you just can't hold it and you really gotta go (alas, diuretics!).

I've been frequenting the library almost daily the past few weeks, it's become a headquarters of sorts. In so doing, I became acquainted with the utilities on site. I must say, they are generally well-kept. Clean. Clean is good. Sometimes though, especially on those days when there are book groups meetings or kids clubs congregating, you encounter those stalls where you wish you never stepped toward, make you wonder what is so hard about the common courtesy inherent in the act of flushing.

So, when you enter, and turn directly right, there is one stall where the lock does not exist. There are two holes in the door, just where it once held screws holding that ghostly lock in place. Who knows what happened to it. Perhaps a visitor took a liking to it, and decided they would help themselves to a souvenir.

If and when I need to go (diuretics, I tell you), that stall is the one for me. The door doesn't lock, yes I agree. I, the Besharami, have no fear of having the door flung open exposing me in my moment.

Why? Well, who else would use the stall without the lock for fear of the door opening. Hardly anyone, when it comes down to it. Regardless of being barren of its lock, the door stays closed within the framework, that doesn't bother me. So it's simple logic. That is the cleanest stall in the whole loo-ville. The chances are slim anyone, if anyone ever, uses it. And if one tries to overthink and consider that perhaps other people think the same way....that doesn't leave one at much of a loss: the other stalls would just be as dirty.

So there you have it. The stall with no lock. That's mine. ;)


14 comments:

  1. LOLL .... the label says it all ....*random*

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  2. Replies
    1. ....ROWRFL... ROHBFL... ROTFL....

      ok done!

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    2. What if someone else also thinks like you?

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    3. Hahaha. Pagal, read my end again! I covered that base. :-W

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    4. What if the cleaning crew doesn't bother to clean it because they assume nobody uses it in the first place? Then even after a few people (who think like you) use it, it is never cleaned.

      Lol and I hate public washrooms too!

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    5. No, they're not paid to think: they have to clean everything.

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    6. Only if they are good workers. Otherwise if they are lazy ones, chances are they only clean at the surface for the washroom to just appear clean. I guess more reasons to hate public washrooms

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    7. i hate hate going to public restrooms to poop :D

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    8. LOL me too :P i think everyone hates doing so... unless they have this
      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZKLnhuzh9uY (saw this in youtube LOL!)

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    9. I don't think I ever number 2 in public loos. :/ Ew. I don't even sit if I don't have to (more confessions of the besharami).

      And Wanda, since my story is about a specific stall in a specific washroom, I'm sure about the cleaning facilities; no conjecture needed. :P

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  3. if not the one with no-lock, which is the stall that you use for selling weed? just curious

    btw i too wonder why people call those places 'restrooms'. dont tell me you go there to take rest.

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    1. hahaha I know eh. Apparently some people consider that relief as rest. And the weed selling is at Stall 9¾ ;)

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