Monday, March 21, 2016


This morning as I left the house in the middle of a bright, quiet, sunny morning, I emerged from a shortcut through a peripheral park path, and entered another neighborhood. There before me was a black coat squad, maybe about 10 of them, unloading from their squad church van: the omnipresent holier-than-thou Catholic (or Jehovah's Witness) door-to-door converting mob.

Their eyes lit up upon seeing me, their first hapless victim. Out came the many, many hands with their many, many pamphlets. "Good morning!" They beam at me. I do a quick internal calculation and come to a decision.

"Good morning," I smile serenely back at them.

They seem pleased.

"Have you embraced the word of the Lord, my dear?" said a man in a black trench coat, black oxfords, and holding a leather portfolio.

"May Allah save you from your sins," I smile back at them, nodding.

An awkward pause settled on the crowd. A crow squawked, as if right on cue.

A 5-foot momma decided to clarify things. "Now dear, we mean the lord Jesus, praise him, son of God, amen."

"Amen," the rest of them all chorused, sighing collectively in relief.

"Jai hanuman gyan gun sagar jai kapeesh tihu lok ujagar" I began to chant at them a la Salman Khan in London Dreams. Unfortunately, before I could get to the really cool part where he does the rockstaresque "HANUMAN KI JAI" with an air guitar accompaniment, the crowd had dispersed, sidling away as quick as their little proper black oxfords could take them without offending the lord in all his message of tolerance.

I shrugged and kept walking in the quiet, beautiful spring morning.

A crow squawked again.

"You too, baby, you too."


  1. LOL omg, I wish this was recorded or something! I must see this!

    1. Haha I know but alas such spontaneity comes at a cost