Believing in yourself does not need to mean that you have to discover a cure for a chronic disease, or run a 50K marathon, or write the greatest memoir. Nor is it contingent on your achievements or aspirations. Instead of invigorating yourself with pep talks or consolation, sometimes all it really means is being able to have a simple, quiet, honest conversation with yourself—and when I say quiet I mean unplug yourself from the rest of the world, let everyone and everything else wait for a bit while you have yourself a real genuine chat, and I say honest because sometimes that is one of the hardest things to really be, especially to oneself. We always keep tiny secrets, hide away little things, for whatever reason. You don't need to punch down lumps that seem to define your imperfections, you don't need to slice off the flaws. You don't even need to make resolutions or promises or find a reason for being. Just be you--the real you, maybe even for once in your life. Believing in yourself doesn't mean that you can't count on anyone else, and it definitely doesn't mean that you can't cry or feel lost. All that is you. Talk to yourself—even if it makes you feel crazy—as if you are talking to the only person left in the world that you can unconditionally trust. And listen, as if you are listening to that one person who makes your heart sing, as if the person talking is that one person you really would do anything for, for whom you would shrug off your pride, scruples and apathy just to make them believe that you care.
