Thursday, June 28, 2012


It's been a long time since I stayed awake all night long, unable to sleep, for all those thoughts that keep coming and rolling off the mind.

There is something about change, that stirs up everything and makes it difficult to feel that solid ground again beneath your own two feet. There exists a resistance to change, akin to clinging onto your bedpost when the whole world is a hurricane.

Sometimes, nothing really happens, and yet it's all inside. Why it's there and how it got there in the first place bewilders the mind. You seek and in seeking, get lost in the maze of your own mind. Unable to retrace those steps because already your mind has left the ground and gone to the moon and back. In a flicker of an eyelash, you've gone through decades, seen tides and tsunamis, sands and thunderstorms.

In change, there is grief. A tearing apart of one thing to become another. From destruction of that which was, to acceptance of that which is now. Change can be good, but even in good there can be sorrow. How does anything make sense when sense itself is not present? And yet, it's beyond even sense, it's a flood of sensations.

We become mired in that state wherein we yearn. In wanting, the further our feet sink. It then should be understandable that when the day arrives when all comes to pass, it becomes so hard to pull out of that quagmire within we've been cemented without some semblance of pain. In attaining pleasure, we endure pain.

Only when we become an island can we learn to control our tides. With less interaction from within the heart of ourselves, it becomes easier to attain serenity. A serenity that belies the underlying currents. Those currents that seek to intertwine with similar currents. To feel a newness in sharing and merging and becoming all the more greater. For an unfamiliarity that is even more so familiar.

A confluence of two currents couldn't be calm. Only after time, when both have become so enjoined do they become relatively steady.

Likewise, the mind's ability to recompense the before and after becomes a tumultuous clashing. All the more so when it is presented with the disparity and must readjust.

Life is about change. Resistance is nature. All the acceptance in the world does not negate the need to adapt.  Sometimes we need to pull our own self out of the mud, and sometimes we get pulled out by putting out that hand and getting pulled out by that which we help pull out.

Sometimes, you lose a night's sleep so that you can watch a day begin anew.


  1. Sometimes acceptance is really difficult, cause we're so tied in with what we already have, we just don't want to let go, and make space for something new. But we have to.

    Because change is life.

    And, of course, you've written brilliantly once again. I've had this thought rolling about through my mind many times too, but I never really was able to put it into words the way you've done.

    Go to sleep now IQ ♥

  2. Yay, this blog got the dove too ♥

    1. Yup, the blogs that are most personal have my dove :)