I found myself again thinking, why did I make so many different blogs to post on? Okay, it made sense on the outset, and somewhat still does - a blog for poetry? A blog for music? Nice and organized. No problem with those. But whenever I write on Lucid Iridescence, or try to write HERE and still sound serious, I find myself in a dilemma, because I debate where to post. Sometimes when I am really down under the dumps and need to write just for the sake of emoting, that makes it pretty easy for me: Lucid Iridescence is where it's at. But then sometimes, I just go thoughtful, and that's harder to figure out, because, while I tend to write quite abstractedly when very thoughtful, it does not necessarily mean I don't want people to know how I am feeling.
Once upon a time, when I first started blogging, I was all our crazy. I wrote everything and anything as if it were my diary. My friends were all into my hyperventilating, gushing, exclamation-filled life, and I had no hangups about people knowing whatever I felt. Mostly, because that stuff wasn't as important or under-the-skin as things are for me now. I - well, oh boy, this is a little confession of mine to make - have been reading Princess Diaries lately, and YES I realize it's the life of a teenaged girl in HIGHSCHOOL but, whatever, I enjoy it!
She reminds me of myself so quite alot (and as such I sometimes get strong reminders of Wanderer and Layla). But yeah, I sometimes wish I could write everything down the way she does. But I don't know, a blog now doesn't seem that appropriate a place to document every single thing happening in one's life. Especially considering the number of weird fobbistic stalkers on the internet who try to read everything as if it's going to give them a clue to your personal home address so they can - ha! in their dreams - 'come over' (and - what? pay $1000 bucks to take a plane over? Aww, for me?) and scare the living daylights out of you, or -more realistically- mock you about their 'information that they are 100% confident about'. Anyways, if you think I am actually afraid of these people that's another think coming. I'm just saying it for the sake of having it said.
Nah. It's not so much that. It's just one's personal boundary that somehow grows somewhat more rigid as we age. I mean, duh we had no hang-ups about walking about in our pampers when we were 10 months old? But now? See what I mean?
Anyways -- I also wanted to state that I have noticed that my dreams, when I remember them, are quite dystopian. And vividly so. Sometimes, when I awaken and somewhat recall the previous night's dream (or, to be accurate, the last dream of many dreams the night before), I think in amazement about how awesome my mind is. If my dreams were optioned and made into movies, by gosh, we would not have a dearth of entertainment!
