Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Oneiromancy

I found myself again thinking, why did I make so many different blogs to post on? Okay, it made sense on the outset, and somewhat still does - a blog for poetry? A blog for music? Nice and organized. No problem with those. But whenever I write on Lucid Iridescence, or try to write HERE and still sound serious, I find myself in a dilemma, because I debate where to post. Sometimes when I am really down under the dumps and need to write just for the sake of emoting, that makes it pretty easy for me: Lucid Iridescence is where it's at. But then sometimes, I just go thoughtful, and that's harder to figure out, because, while I tend to write quite abstractedly when very thoughtful, it does not necessarily mean I don't want people to know how I am feeling.

Once upon a time, when I first started blogging, I was all our crazy. I wrote everything and anything as if it were my diary. My friends were all into my hyperventilating, gushing, exclamation-filled life, and I had no hangups about people knowing whatever I felt. Mostly, because that stuff wasn't as important or under-the-skin as things are for me now. I - well, oh boy, this is a little confession of mine to make - have been reading Princess Diaries lately, and YES I realize it's the life of a teenaged girl in HIGHSCHOOL but, whatever, I enjoy it!

She reminds me of myself so quite alot (and as such I sometimes get strong reminders of Wanderer and Layla). But yeah, I sometimes wish I could write everything down the way she does. But I don't know, a blog now doesn't seem that appropriate a place to document every single thing happening in one's life. Especially considering the number of weird fobbistic stalkers on the internet who try to read everything as if it's going to give them a clue to your personal home address so they can  - ha! in their dreams - 'come over' (and - what? pay $1000 bucks to take a plane over? Aww, for me?) and scare the living daylights out of you, or -more realistically- mock you about their 'information that they are 100% confident about'. Anyways, if you think I am actually afraid of these people that's another think coming. I'm just saying it for the sake of having it said.

Nah. It's not so much that. It's just one's personal boundary that somehow grows somewhat more rigid as we age. I mean, duh we had no hang-ups about walking about in our pampers when we were 10 months old? But now? See what I mean?

Anyways -- I also wanted to state that I have noticed that my dreams, when I remember them, are quite dystopian. And vividly so. Sometimes, when I awaken and somewhat recall the previous night's dream (or, to be accurate, the last dream of many dreams the night before), I think in amazement about how awesome my mind is. If my dreams were optioned and made into movies, by gosh, we would not have a dearth of entertainment!


16 comments:

  1. "I think in amazement about how awesome my mind is" - what a humble frnd :P

    i read or heard somewhere today "every beginning is a dream every dream has a beginning "

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    1. Well MY mind because it is mine that is dreaming - but in general, yes how amazing THE mind can be!

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  2. :O You haven't been sharing your dreams with me lately :O haww Hmphh

    as for where to post........ toss a coin :D screw the net thugs! who gives a crap about them Lol

    Btw Mia had a cat too, I forget his name Lol or her :W

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  3. Blogging is just internally eating up my mind right now! I don't even know how to describe it..

    I used to pour everything out into the same blog, and I ended up making a separate one for poetry and for stories..(and one private one just for myself) So I know exactly what you mean now... Grr.. I've been trying to come back to blogging and not just that, I've been trying to come back to writing, but it's just not happening.

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    1. twill happen when it happens - dont sweat it :D

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    2. Allow it Roo ! :P Sometimes its okay to just sit back and relax without having to worry about anything and everything.

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    3. SOMETIMES sitting back carelessly and just waiting doesn't work :) if you want to do something badly you have to get up and try.I worry only because it's something that's important to me, and I want to bring it back to my life. I've taken a long break, and I badly want to write again, and so I shall try :)

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    4. Writing is an extremely personal thing, and as such it's really hard for anyone else to tell us what we need to do or not do. When it's as ingrained in people like us, Roo, our need to express being as important as the next drink of water sometimes - that's when it gets infuriating. And I know - I've had too many moments of writing-silence in the past year. But again, writing is something that has to come naturally to us, you cannot force it. Because that goes against the entire purpose of why people like us write: it becomes unnatural and a chore. On that note, we've already talked about avoiding the chorification of our passions. It's infuriating to us because we NEED it, it's our way of solace and companionship, even if it is only with words. I don't have much advice either, since I suffer the pangs of silentism just as well as you do. But I have found that stimulating the mind with things that I can relate to are those which set me back thinking. And thinking is the crux of the matter - that's the fountain from which our pen flows. A lot of the time we want to think of a TOPIC, and that is where the problem starts from right away because we are giving ourselves homework. I'm going through the dictionary on the odd moment and from one word I think of what it means to me and weirdly I end up writing paragraphs. I stopped worrying if they make sense. No need for the backspace or delete button :D You will return and when you do it will be with a shakalakabangbang. (I'm writing this right now without having gone to any other blog but it just occurred to me you probably already have tried :D)

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    5. IQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ :P

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    6. It's hard to explain the position I am at, but I know that you are the only person who would probably understand it :) I am not forcing myself, rather I am trying to find my voice again. I feel like I am losing it, the spark

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    7. Maybe because of how disconnected I have been with that part of myself.

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    8. patience grasshoppa :P spark once disappeared can show up again .. its a matter of the right moment :D

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    9. @kya ...aise hi ... i dont see u at all these days so i thot id holler :P

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    10. Oh ok :D FREDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!

      Roo I know =)

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