Saturday, November 07, 2015

Lectures To Self

NEVER depend on someone else to heal and complete you - you will always be left heartbroken.

If you feel that there is a part of you that is broken, or a part of you that is missing, that crack and that hole can only be perfectly replaced by what it originated of: yourself.

Yes. You will meet someone who feels like they complete you. And you will feel that way, until you realize they don't. They can't. The only you that can be you, is you.

Yes. You feel better with the friendship and love of others. That is the point of said relationships; they give you the opportunity to recognize yourself in how others see you, by their words, actions and behaviour.  What they are giving you is not completion but an opportunity.

That opportunity is how you make yourself become your best you. They will laugh at something you say, making you feel amazing because you're funny. They will give you a hug, and you will feel a sense of belonging. Yes, you belong in this earth with all of us. They will give you attitude, rudeness, anger and reprobation. You will feel hurt, angry, offended, vengeful. Thats OK. That's fine. Youre feeling. But these are still opportunities, even when it's a bit harder to see through the dimming fog of these emotions. It will take some practise, but even here you can wipe the condensation of the glass, and seek that reflection that will tell you if you like what you see - not them, but yourself.

More significantly, you will fall in love and you will fall and hurt. Again, and again. There is something wrong with all these people you are falling for, right? Maybe. But more likely, this too is the opportunity for you to recognize what is happening to yourself, how you are feeling and how you are behaving. And this way you will actually discover how much potential you possess to rise up.

When you're down, its hard to make sense of all this. When you're hurt it is difficult to even see. When you're depressed, the last thing you want to do is really look in the mirror.

So break it.

Smash it to pieces. Stomp it to smithereens. Dropkick it. Powerbomb it.

That was you. All that's left is dust.

But you're still there. Looking at that dust. So who are you?

You be whoever you want to be.

But never let someone else be the one to break your mirror. And never ever expect anyone else to be the one to save you. They will help you on your way. They will stand by you even through it all. They will give you all the inspiration, hope, love and fulfillment you think you could ever wish for. But always remember that they're only there for you because you're you. They aren't you.

And if you realize that you're the only one who can fulfill you, you will truly never be alone. People don't like being depended on day in day out for hand patting, back rubbing, self-esteem caressing, no really. It becomes a chore. Who wants to be someone's emotional janitor? Love is meant for living in today, with the I scratch your back you scratch mine mutual agreement, knowing that you're secure in becoming a better person for yourself first and therefore for whomever else.

That's the 'gift that keeps on giving.'  You're going to discover that dust just keeps on coming back together again, and if you look close enough even the tiny glitches in the glass start looking really sexy.