Soaked in the Thunderstorm

Jin dino aap rehte thhe
Aankh mein dhoop thi
Abh to jaale hi jaale hain
Yeh bhi jaane hi wale hain
Woh jo tha dard ka karaar kahan
Ab mujhe koi intezaar kahan
Woh jo behthe the abshaar kahan
Ab mujhe koi intezaar kahan

Peace

As you can tell, I haven't been around much. Or rather, I haven't been blogging for awhile. Anyways, on Friday evening while walking home from the bus, I had my earphones on and was walking with my book open, reading.

This is probably one of the best 5 minutes of the day, as the walk home goes through the neighbourhood park, and fields of trees. The sun is just beginning it's dip down and it's that little bit more breezier, if not cooler.

I love the random way the music that is playing (I keepmy playlist on the random shuffle mode just for this)  suits the mood of the walk home. On this particular day, I managed to slow my ramble homeward-bound in the peace and tranquility of the evening to fit two songs in.

The gleeful calls of the children dancing in the waterpark sprays, the movement of the clouds, the sun tracing it's journey overhead, and somehow even with all the sounds surrounding, somehow I was cocooned in a silence that just intertwined with everything else.

These are the two songs that so perfectly fit the moment, and I was so filled with the love for the moment that I decided while I walked home, and watched my own feet walking with the dance of shadows and light (it was almost like I was drunk with contentment, you should really try just watching your feet on the pavement as you walk..) - I decided I had to write about the moment and share these songs.

Song #1.

Ab mujhe koi intezaar kahan

Woh jo behthe the… Abshaar kahan

Ab mujhe koi intezaar kahan

-Ishqiya

Song #2.

Tera zikr hai

Ya itr hai

Jab jab karta hoon 

Mehekta hoon, behekta hoon,..chehekta hoon

-Guzaarish

:)

Ambushed by Liebster

Over the weekend I've been ambushed - right, left, and centre. Holy pakora. Wait let me google award acceptance speech templates, gimme a sec.

Step 1. Open by thanking everyone involved in giving you the award. This includes the organization sponsoring the award, the individual(s) who nominated you, and/or anyone who may have recommended you for this honor.
Thank you Boondi, Ajay and Kia!  Not just for being the award givers, or nominators, but simply for being a reader and especially for the feedback. On that note, thank you to everyone who's followed, read, commented, encouraged. If you're special to me, you should know how much by now. K, next.

Step 2. State how honored you are, mentioning the award by name. Even if you secretly think that having to give a speech is a crummy reward for a job well done, conveying your gratitude for everyone’s time and attention is an absolute must. This should be about 1 to 2 sentences.

Well, man. Do I really have to? I thought Step 1 covered that. Oh well, I am honoured to receive the Liebster Award thrice. 

Step 3. Share your thoughts about being awarded. This is a good place to convey how humbled you feel by the whole experience; if you come across as entitled or superior, everyone will regret honoring you. This should take about 1 to 3 sentences.

Humbled? Can't you see my head's blown up like a hot air balloon? Okay, honestly speaking. I was always aware of Blog awards and such. Being on Blogger, I really didn't give a hoot about being conferred "blog awards" and especially with such a small following (I'm more of a few very good friends person than the lots of acquaintances person), I wouldn't have thought any blog award of any sort would be bestowed until years later. So yeah, let's move onto the next step..

Step 4. Say something inspirational. This might be a quote from someone who made the award possible or your thoughts on whatever it is you won the award for. (This might also be a good place to personalize your speech with an anecdote.) This should be 2 to 3 sentences. 

Ooh, now we're talking. Well, most of us think twice about writing something, if anything at all. Bloggers world should remove any self doubts because it's how much you wish to portray, and not what your english teacher is marking. We're all humans and we all experience such an assortment of things in life, just let yourself go.

Step 5. Step 6. Step 7. Step 8. More thankyous blah blah blah. Enough already. Thank you Wikihow.

Now onto the responsibilities and rules that come with the Award.


RULES:

- If you’re tagged/nominated, you have to post 11 facts about yourself
-Then you answer the 11 questions the tagger has given you and make 11 questions for the people you’re going to tag.
-Tag 11 more bloggers.
-Tell the people you tagged that you did.
-No tagging back.
-The person you tag must have less than 200 followers

Questions from Kiara:

1) Why, how, and when did you begin blogging?

Well, there have been times when I've been in a low state of mind, I'd retreat from the world and cocoon myself in my misery. Writing was my way of consolation. I started writing years ago as a way to "lecture" or inspire myself. I'd write to the "sad" self of me as if it were my best friend, and I'd write in a way that I'd want her to rise up from whatever was pulling her down. I recognized that emotion was inversely proportional to logic, and somehow just by pulling myself into another frame of mind to do that, I'd come up with better material than the usual misery-induced writing. 

2) What is the story behind the title of your blog?

Oh. Well, whenever anyone asked me how I am, I'd respond by saying I'm supercalifragilisticsexyalidocious! Simply because saying "I'm well, thanks" was too mundane, and I like to be random.

3) What inspires you?

Hmm. Almost anything. Nature is first on my list. Songs. Books, movies - sometimes it's just something that makes me sit up and think that's made for ME! 

4) Stand in the light alone or stand in the dark with a friend?

Can't I sit? :(

I'd willingly do both. But if the standing in the light means leaving someone behind, I'd stand in the dark. 

5) Your favourite quote?

I have many. When I say many I mean MANY!  Notitiam primosque gradus vicinia fecit; Tempore crevit amor. - Ovid 

6) Would you ever write a book? If so, about what?

Would I? I have! Okay, well I would still and continuously. About life.

7) Your favourite song?

I don't have one favourite! At the moment I'd have to say Nadaan Parinde. 

8) Rain or Sunshine?

Rain in sunshine :)

9) If you were young again, and someone asked you what you wanted to be as an adult, what would be your answer?

When I was young, I answered these: ballerina, doctor, actress, model, writer (well that's what I can remember). I'd still say writer again.

10) You are given the ability of time travel, is there anything you`d change of your past or do you believe in `no regrets`?

I believe in not changing anything, because I love the way everything has led to now. I don't necessarily believe in "no regrets" because if we went by that, then we'd never truly learn.

11) Do we live to love or do we love to live?

Live to love to live.

Questions from Rehya Bond:

1. Do you believe in making your own destiny or being taken on it's decided path?
Both. I don't believe these are mutually exclusive.

2. What are you most proud of?
I don't know. Maybe just trying to live life with as good a heart as I can.

3. What is your favourite flavour?
Vanilla

4. When is your favourite time of day?
12.30 - 3.00 pm

5. Velcro, Zipper or Snap button?
Zipper.

6. What is your life's motto?

Sometimes good things in life fall apart, so better things can fall together.

7. Is the carrot half eaten or half left?
Both :P

8. How many times have you fallen in and out of love?

I don't know. Lost count? ;)

9. What was your favourite subject in Junior School?

Art, and math, I guess. I really don't remember..

10. Have you ever broken a bone in your body? (If yes, where?)

Arm

11. Girls: After the age of 14, have you ever worn running shoes with a skirt?

Nope.

Questions from Ajay .

If you were given one wish, what would that be ? A secret ;)

Which place do you wish to visit the most? I don't know.

If somehow you became the President, what would be the first thing you would do ? It's a cliche I guess, but build shelters.

Your favourite author ? I have many! You can see my favourite in my Superreads widget to the left. 

How much does blogging means to you? Well, it's a subset of what writing means to me, and I absolutely love it.

What is the best thing that has happened to you? Finding Sanity.

Would you give away everything for something you love doing? Yes. 

What is the one thing you would like to get from life? Fulfilment.

What would you do if you won a million dollars ? Many things...

What is your Life Motto ? Live for this moment, this moment is your life.

How stupid and lame are the questions ? Really really really lame Ajay, I don't even have words.. You dumbo, they're not stupid or lame at all.

.. Aaand I'm ending this with the11 Facts about Moi

1. Bibliophile.

2. Hopeless romantic.

3. I was born vegetarian. (Well okay, who wasn't?)

4. Waterholic.

5. Nature lover.

6. I love all the arts.

7. I have a very good memory.

8. I have very low tolerance for stupidity.

9. Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na is probably my most-watched movie. 

10. I love kids, and I've always gotten along really really well with kids.

11. I love to make people laugh

To those who have been nominated by me, these are the questions you must answer:

1. If you were a fruit, which fruit would you be?
2. If you were a drink, which drink would you be?
3. If you were a season, which season would you be?
4. If you were a gadget, which gadget would you be?
5. If you were a song, which song would you be?
6. If you were an animal, which animal would you be?
7. If you were a colour, which colour would you be?
8. If you could be anywhere in the world, where would it be?
9. If you could have anything materialistic, what would it be?
10. If you had to get rid of a bad habit, what habit would it be?
11. If you were me, what would you love most about yourself?

Holympics

Word of the Day 

July 24: olympics

n. Loose assemblage of activities undertaken quadrennially by over-ripped folk with an odd view of life and difficulty prioritising. Small trinkets on coloured ribbons and needlessly ostentatious flower arrangements are commonly given to several of the better entrants as stirring tunes play. Flags and advertising signage tend to be prominently displayed and portly men in suits shuffle about needlessly.

It's that time again. The Olympics. Get me my gun. 

Don't get me wrong, I love sports. Rather, I love playing sports. I am not so much into watching sports. But this isn't the source of my grievance. 

I recall many projects over the years in school spent on the Olympics. I liked the thrill and challenges about the games. I also recall when I was old enough to actually realize that it costs money - one lucid memory is of the startling realization of how much athletes are actually paid. For what? 

If there are governments that want to cut costs or salaries or jobs of regular citizens, or those who believe that doctors are overpaid, I can't fathom how athletes get away with it. Of course, the question can be widened to a greater field: to actors, performing artists, or other celebrities, for example.

But, the Olympics? I've lost my respect for it. I do like the idea of an international convention where all countries can battle without an actual war. But the costs, for crying out loud. 

One of my friends had some sort of economics assignment. A writing assignment. So that means you know who she'd turn to for help writing it. Moi. 

Despite my vast knowledge of various subject matters, economics is most likely the one that I really haven't ever spent much time on.  I mean, can probably recount an entire list of all the subjects I've taken, and it would amount to all subjects possible minus the business ones. 

But, no. She would not allow this to be the conclusion of my contribution to helping her. And, in this friend's case, helping her means writing her paper for her. Why would I do that, you might ask? Well I don't entirely, but I do somewhat, because that's the friend she was to me. But yes, she would take not take no for an answer. She needed this paper done so she would pass the class. Which essentially meant that my knowledge of economics was probably more than hers. 

I, having absolutely no clue what topic to raise for her research paper, I handed over my grievance about the Olympics to her. She liked the idea. (Well, not as if she had much choice.)

The China Olympics. 40 billion dollars. Not million. Billion.


In building the infrastructure with their Olympic facelift to China, they've had people forced to move out of their homes that got destroyed, with little compensation, and then you take a look at the fact that it is still a developing country that normally is at loose ends on how to deal with their poverty.

I can't wrap my mind around that.

Missing

What is it, in separation, that draws the heart closer to that which it has not? To want, and to have. To seek, and attain. The vacancy that exists, the adornment of emptiness, an inner instinct to fill that vacancy because…

Because, what? Just because it is possible? Is this instinct the primitive instinct built not of a force of heart, but of force of nature? That which we have, we do not want, we wish to progress, and to progress we seek the fulfillment of more.

It could not be just this. The heart, in separation, denies that any force but that which is truest to heart could be fuel to such yearning. That vacancy, however small, for the mere flicker of breath, immeasurable between the clicks that signify a second, but it is there, however infinitesimal it may have been, it spreads and grows and consumes all matter and mind, it glides from the shadows of subconscious, penetrates the farthest realms of consciousness and plunges into the vast depths of the unknown. Where it belongs; because is it after all only born of the unknown?

The unknown and unexplored. The further the attempt to untangle the beginning and the end, the more the entanglement becomes. To try to smoothen out the knots and loops, the bond intensifies, weakens, or breaks.

Why is there such a pull in separation? Separation from that which completes us, so utterly and thoroughly, and thus to be separated is to be apart from that which is already ourselves. We resist, we struggle, and we torment ourselves with the agony of losing a part of ourselves.

Perhaps that is why we seek when we had it not. When we have instinctively always felt that there was some salvation of the vacant heart that sought to surrender its artifacts at the altar of its prayer. We have built a home within for that which should belong, and waited. We have waited through storms and riptides, through the eyes of storms, and through the aftermath of them. The heart has waited even when we have given up on waiting. Because without, the heart ceases from purpose. To beat, yes, but to keep time to what?

Like a ship to its truest north, the zenith of our soul’s journey, a magnetic gravitation towards completion. A legend that is told infinitely, to last eternally.



Everytime I find myself in this cocoon of isolation, somehow kept disparate from what I am missing by a glass wall that frustrates me because, yes, I cannot attain that realm of fulfillment, I lose myself. A song hums behind scenes silently as I lash out with words, lost in thought, as if in reaching with the mind, with all my heart, I reach that destination. Despite the inability of my words to do them justice, in surrendering to the thoughts, I somehow do.

Special thanks, once again, to Nadaan Parinde from Rockstar.

*Gruffs*

:ehm

Spring Morning

Yayyyy! Spring came back! Well, technically it is still summer. But by this summer's trend today could possibly be declared a Spring day. It is actually 20°C today. After almost 40°C weather just two days ago, this is a momentous occasion.

I think, by writing about writing soulfully yesterday, I somewhat sated that urge to dip into less buoyant realms. I am actually hyper this morning, which is a step away from my usual quiet and calm mornings basking in sunshine splendour. The sun is peeking out from behind clouds right this very second as I write this.

I'm munching on Cinnamon Toast Crunch also as I write this, and Layla will be glad to inform everyone that it's full of sugar and not healthy like her Fruit n Fibre cereal that she partakes of everyday, or like Nerdy's Special K. Whatever the case, I love CTC. I do have granola waiting below the CTC though.

I am not really sure why I am hyper this morning. You could attribute it to the sugar of course, but I digress. I was hyper before I started consuming my CTC. I did get a good night sleep, with the cool breeze of the night gusting through my room. I couldn't even manage to sleep on my ride to work. I normally do. But my mind was awake and alert.

All in all, I am refraining from over-analysing things, or thinking too much. I am on a vendetta to achieve constant contentment. It may more or less be a futile quest, but I think in trying, I am actually getting closer to the goal. So I will just let the happiness of the morning exist without asking why it does.

That is one of the problems with us, we always look for reasons, when the point is just to be.

Emotion

Often I wish to indulge in writing that comes from the soul. But when I consider that state within which I must enmesh myself again, I withdraw from the thought itself. For, to be lost in that cavern of whispers and heartbeats, I must lose myself.

And in losing myself, I cast off from that solidity that is akin to the dock of land that fades away in a shroud of mist. Why must the indulgence of thought, sinking deep into the heart, be sunk in darkness? Darkness, that although not necessarily deprived of happiness, somehow communicates an element of melancholy. When we touch our own souls, we come away with an aftershock that affects us to the core of us, which makes sense, because our core is that soul itself. But we lose ground, we tumble from our perches, however stolid they be, and we fall into a realm that defies gravity.

Other times, when we pull inward, we fall harder and hit the bottom hard. In reaction we generate questions that furrow within us, through our bloodstream, through our nerves, sending out transmissions out to vast spaces unknown.

How often do we refrain from acknowledging the frequencies and vibrations that shimmer beneath that surface? We shy away from dipping our hands into that stream of emotion. We skip over the stones hoping that we do not slip, a pretense that we only are afraid of getting wet, when we are truly afraid of drowning.

And those times, when we want to drown. When we have parched ourselves dry, from renunciation of the experience, instilling the craving for a chance to delve into those cooling waters, to feel the euphoria of sensation entirely, even at the risk of drowning.

Sometimes, I am scared of myself. I am aware of these sensations within me, that, like compressed gas, when let go, can fill an entire universe to saturation.  Like magma beneath the earth, heated and powerful, ready to erupt into volcanoes, or like the waters so placid and still that can tilt in a second and cause crashing and clashing tsunamis that leave you without a breath within the flicker of a heartbeat.

I feel if I indulge, I will lose anchor and drift into those mists that I am not sure where they will take me.  Sometimes I know, because I have been there often enough, But it is unpredictable. I think about letting the shackles of caution go and jumping into the deep end, but then I stop.

Scope

I'm getting lazier, aren't I? I feel that the frequency with which I have been blogging has totally decreased. Each time I decide to write something, I yawn, then stretch, and promptly forget about it entirely. Well, not entirely.

One side-effect of being a blogger is that every experience is filed away into a section of the mind with a figurative little sticky noting how it will fit into a post. Not exactly that way, it's just more of a subconscious occurrence, and most likely not exclusive to just bloggers. Writers, artists, thinkers. Anyone who takes an experience and opens it up for analysis, further experiencing that experience and tasting the fruits that are found when one delves into the matter deep enough.

This morning I think I fell in love again. Seriously, the moment I stepped out, I was totally wrapped by the warmth of the morning. While noone wants to hear about the warmth anymore (What warmth? We're talking about bloody suffocating HOT), this was that warmth that reminds you of the tenderness of Spring, or the approach of Autumn. Again, not every one of you will know what I am talking about, as our climates vary globally.

There was such a strong wind, and it was the type that made you believe that you could be in a movie scene where the wind (fan) is streaming through your hair, and the sun is just rising, and the world is bereft of its regular calamity, a temporal world of serenity. The fact that you aren't in a movie scene with the fan blowing makes it even more beautiful. Because it is reality. For however temporary that moment was, it was still there.

So that was my morning, other than the "good morning"s to the old guy walking past from his early morning walk through the park, and to the other one watering his garden.

Lately, I have been bugging my friends with the Twitter updates on horoscopes. I don't know, I find them interesting. Especially when they're very apt. And what I am talking about is the characterization of each zodiac sign, not the "today you will understand the meaning of a wild encounter when you lose more than you expected to but gained everything back." types. Regarding those daily horoscopes, I have had my own theory for a long time. My theory goes like this: All the journalists or reporters or psychics or whoever they are who are paid to write up these horoscopes get together at a bar. Get drunk. Then they start writing. While continually drinking.

"OK, gimme that pen. This is what it's gonna be like: Aquarius will meet a dark handsome stranger..."
"Yo man!  I'm Aquarius!  I don't want a dark handsome stranger, I got my sights on that blonde over over over....over there.."
"Whoa, that's one hot babe man!"
"Yeah that's what I'm talking about. Write something about her for me will ya?"
"OK buy me another round duuuude. Yeah *gulps* Ok scratch dark handsome...Stranger. Ahhhm. Bright... and full of light! WOOP!"
"YEA BRO THAT'S WHAT IM TALKIN BOUT THIS CALLS FOR A DRI..."
"...Yo man that babe is coming here...."
" @#$@ That's Barb! You @#$! She's on our team you fool."
"You sure?" *squints*
"Yooooohooo boys, whatchus star...star....star *hiccup*ing at me for? Did ya write the the the first scope yet?"
"Ahh. Barb what's your sign again?"
" Um.........ca....caa...caa...."
"Cancer?"
"Um...no....ccccccaaapri"
"Capricorn! Eh Bill.. where youat man. Get yer face outta that mug. Yeah Bill listen write this. Capricorn meets Aquarius for best results."
"What the beep man? Beshht weshults? Thish shom kinda exam or what? Kiddin me man..."
"No Bill, ah jusht write it aite.."

Living Life

I have been reading through various material. Books, random blogs, articles, different websites.  Me reading is nothing new. However, as I read through a certain passage, it occurred to me that I don't write as in-depth as I might have. I tend to simplify my thoughts and I've also tried to keep my vocabulary somewhat understandable. In a nutshell, I tailor my posts for the audience I know will be reading.

I have stopped myself from indulging in detailed and technical discourses which I know will put all of you to sleep. The question might crop up then, why do I limit myself? I ought to be myself, despite whatever feedback I may or may not receive. That is the point of my blog, after all.

Not really. The point of my blog is for me to simply express those thoughts that are created from the many experiences I may have, in a moment, a day, a week, or simply out of life. They may be pretty mundane. Or even something we all already know.

At times, my thoughts clash with those of my readers. I have always been a non-conformist, but only to a certain extent. I like to think outside of the box, and in so doing, I sometimes come up with such random ideas that the capacity to understand them undermines their logic. So they become ridiculous. Often, when certain events pan out, or time elapses, I am able to say, "Hey, this is what I said way back when, and no one believed me." Yeah, I am a "I told you so" person, but usually it's just in my head.

I read random things here and there. Recently, I've been reading little bits of Gandhi's rendition of the Gita. I have over the years read various versions of the Gita. Now don't get me wrong, I don't hold myself to be a very religious person. Comparative to others, yes I may be. But I am not really a big fan of "religion" per se. If I believe in anything it is simply in goodness. As such, I find it interesting to read the scriptures of faith and understand the creed behind various religious faiths. Likewise, I have read the Bible, Quran, and have read various other texts pertaining to religion and religions.

For me, it isn't about what makes them different. It is what makes them alike: the underlying goodness that transcends all borders, cultures and nationalities. The basic goodness that should be the foundation and root of "Godliness" or, simply humanity, is what makes me question why people incorporate so much negativity in the act of upholding their religion.

I often believe that faith itself becomes a second-hand product when people find the need to resort to religion bashing and mockery. When you yourself are engaged in acts that are negative and founded on ill-thought toward another, how can you then say that this is (for) the goodness of my faith?

I am an idealist. It may be a weakness, or it may be a strength. Weakness, because an idealist harbours hopes that  often do not manifest in the realities of the world. Strength, perhaps because a strong foundation of belief may be the saving grace for the idealist, and hopefully enough so that it might take root and spread. Who knows?

I do not want to sound as if I am writing so as to force anyone to believe in what I do. I am not trying to convert anyone to any form of thinking. You want to fight about religions, well, I am not saying go ahead and do it, but in the end what does it gain? Shoot each others' heads off, and then what? In the same way, as I wrote about eating animals, so the population of meat eaters eventually all die off from cardiovascular diseases and suchlike, then what?

I know, we are all going to die anyway one day. So live it to the fullest, right? Even I wonder at times, what is the good in believing in good. I should just throw it all out the window and stop believing. No one wants to listen, anyway. Or if they listen, then only do so to laugh.  Or, to feel uneasy or even angry. Then I wonder, what would the world be like without us idealists? No one to say, stop animal slaughter, stop racism, stop genocide, stop child or women abuse. After all, life is short already, stop worrying about all of the stuff we can't change. Live life to the fullest.

Morning

Sometimes in the midst of the cacophony that accompanies life, you're enmeshed in a moment wherein you get hit with a realization that you are happy. Maybe not entirely, because of all the additional factors that can be swirling around on the outskirts of that bubble, but in that bubble itself, you are.

That's how I felt this morning, curled up in my chair, in my quiet corner by the window, where the only sounds were the air sweeping through the suite quietly and coolly, and the dimmed hum of the random vehicle passing the building. Sunshine and solitude, two of my favourite companions. 

I had meant to write this, and yet, I broke into my own bubble to get up and get myself a bottle of water, and in so doing, lost that tranquility, checking in with the other departments, having to take phone calls, and holding impromptu meetings that all so instigated a stronger craving to return to the peace of my office. 

And yes, I am back again, and now writing all of this morning's experiences. I am a morning person, despite the weariness with which I wake up and pull myself out of bed, and I love it more so for the amount of productivity I am able to concentrate into several hours as opposed to an entire day. 

Those of you who know me well enough are familiar with my afternoon crash - the phenomenon of me being so incredibly sleepy and lethargic after lunch. Comparative to my mornings, I could perhaps attribute this to the fact that the sunshine has moved on and my east-facing windows no longer receive those rays which so rejuvenate me.  Oh well.

!

You For Me, and Me For You... So Happy Togetherr

Hello everyone!

This post is a little bit...spontaneous, for lack of a better word. It's not the right word, because pretty much all my posts are spontaneous. But let's just leave it at that for now.

Today, while travelling home, I was listening to music, and as usual, letting the music just sweep me away into my own world.

One song in particular made me smile. I can't explain what it is, there is something about the way it is sung, the music, the flow and ambiance created by the song. Ignoring the lyrics, it gave me a serene and thankful feeling. When you actually focus on the lyrics, the weird thing about it is that it's actually a sad song.

"Ho jalte hai chalte hai, sang sang mere,... khamoshi aahein andhere; dekh le jhaank le, in nazron mein...toote toote se hai, sapne tere."  (Silence,sighs and darkness, Burn and move with me; Look, peepIn my eyes are your broken dreams)

But, I felt so happy for that moment while listening to this song. In particular, I was thinking of the person who this song reminds me of (well,...duh). Then I was thinking about the other special people in my life who also contribute to my happiness. I was thinking, what songs would I dedicate to each...

So, here I am to dedicate songs to certain of you here.

Kiara, despite not ever "really" talking to you, we've managed to establish a bond that goes beyond words (ironic, considering we're crossing paths because of words). You remind me of myself very much, and I think we somehow share a frequency that allows us to relate to one another, from the heart. As such, when I got to thinking about what song would be apt enough for you, I was, at that moment, walking through a park, past the swings and trees and grass, enjoying the evening warmth and the kids running through the park's sprinklers. I think this is a good enough atmosphere to rightly dedicate this song to you: Aaj Main Boond Hoon - De Taali.  This is one of those songs that I love, for the innocence and freshness and jubilance it brings to mind. Rainbows, sprinklers, friendship, summer, and laughter.

Ajay - I know you've got your own range of favourite music. But, I'm still going to dedicate this song to you. Considering your "stories" about work, and the people you have to deal with, the experiences you'd rather wish you didn't have to live through, the confidence and lack of, and your reservedness contributing to it - I really think you've got the spark to really light it up if only you believed in yourself first. Yeah, I'm talking about your self-deprecating remarks, those "disclaimers" of yours, and that shell you like to pull yourself into :), so yeah this one is for you, buddy. Aashayein - Iqbal.

Jiyaa - Yes, you Boondi! This one was a stumper for a bit. It still is, but let me try to explain how I got to this song. Thinking about which songs to dedicate to each person was more of thinking about what I share about this person in particular, what it is that I share with them, and why they are special to me, what it is that we relate to and what binds us together. In thinking of what song to dedicate to you, I was like umm hmmm, Jiya, Jiya...hmmm. Then it just popped out at me, just like that. I was like, "Huh? Now why is this song perfect for Jiya?" Well, for starters, what I think binds us is that basic innate goodness in both of us. We're also sensitive, very thoughtful people. I'm a bit more crazy, of course. But you also have your giggly and bubbly side too. You also think a lot, and let your mind wander and get lost and, it just flies on its own wandering wondering way. So yeah, that's why Masakali - Delhi 6, is for you.

Nerdyy, stop wiggling impatiently. You know your turn is coming, patience bacha. "Well, excuse me," says Nerdyy haughtily, "I'm a fully grown man." Yeah you are, you're wonderful with your patience and maturity. You're a sturdy fountain of friendship and understanding yet, you're so amazingly goofy that one can't say you're anything but a kid at heart also. I am not going to give you an oldie though, dudes. Deal with it. 'Darr lagta hai ishq karne mein ji...Dil to bachcha hai ji…Dil toh baccha hai ji' - Ishqiya. 

LAYLAAAAAAAAAAAAAA, yes I didn't forget you, so I'm not gay. I am sooo sure this is a song you will never have heard in your life. But you're going to hear it now because if you don't you can "talk to ma handdd". This is a song for you from me, because two sisters are singing it. They keep singing "bhaiya" in the chorus (like you and your raakhi gifting) and the lyrics are funny when they're taking you in consideration: Didi agar tujhko hoti jo moonchh mein tujhko bhaiya bulati tu soch ...Are chutki agar tujhko hoti ho poonchh to main tujhko gaiya bulati tu soch (Didi, if you had a mustache I would have called you brother. Little sister, if you had a tail I would have called you a cow... LOL, ring a bell?). Yeah, open up your youtube, this is the song sis: Hum Toh Aise Hai Bhaiya - Laaga Chunari Mein Daag.

Phatso, oops I mean Phantom. I know, you were hoping I forgot about you. Tough luck. But I'm going to spare you the pains and aches of being dragged into this. You already know which song is the song. Okay good boy, go back to your tennis or movie now. Dheemi dheemi roshni si beh rahi hai inn hawaon mein yahaan....

Faith di, if and when you ever get here in your slow laziness motion, you also know that there are 203984023498324029423 songs that I could put out here. I'm not going to go into all of that and all of what we share. Lyrics kaafi hai, "mere haath mein hi tera haath hai... mere paas hai tu mere paas hai... mere saath hai...mere paas hai... " Nahin Samne Tu- Taal. 

Oh yes, last but not least. (Trust me on this, it started as "first and foremost" for you, but then I decided to postpone it...) Dhuan. Do I have a song for you *looks here and there*, I have too many, that's the problem.  As you know already (stop gloating) Jalte Hai, the song that got me thinking all of this, was the song you gave me to listen to way back in the day. Accordingly, I am not going to take too much time in pounding my head in thinking which song I should dedicate to you. It's easy: Pappu Can't Dance. LOL okay I'mma jokinggggggggg. I was thinking Kabhi Kabhi Aditi.. and then thought, acha okay, let's toast our fighting: tu bole.. glass adha glass khali, mai bolu adha bhara,... mai bolu kitna sara, tu bole kitana zara zara. Yes, Tu Bole Main Boloon - Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na.
 


Okay now I'm tired. Peace out my lovelies. *crashes*

For The Love Of Animals

Most of you who know me, know I love nature. And a big part of nature is my love for animals. I'm all for compassion and goodness. I can't put the idea of the violence and cruelty that accompanies killing out of my head and separate it from an act of just indulging in something for the sake of pleasure.  Anyways, I know almost all of you will hate me for bringing this topic up and doing the goody-goody two shoes act, but then again, I am definitely not ashamed of believing in goodness.

I came across some inspiring thoughts and while most of you will tune out and stop reading, I hope it also makes you think. I'm not going to shy away from a topic that's usually brushed away. The idea itself is not closing your own eyes to certain flaws in a general mindset of humankind. I have an idea about the act of altruism and sacrificing material pleasures being somewhat "good" karma. I can go into the topic evolutionary speaking, but I think I'm going to save you that headache also.

A man can live and be healthy without killing animals for food; therefore, if he eats meat, he participates in taking animal life merely for the sake of his appetite. And to act so is immoral. ~Leo Tolstoy

There slowly grew up in me an unshakable conviction that we have no right to inflict suffering and death on another living creature, unless there is some unavoidable necessity for it. ~ Albert Schweitzer, M.D., Alsatian philosopher and medical missionary, 1952 Nobel prize recipient, (1875-1965)

In fact, if one person is unkind to an animal it is considered to be cruelty, but where a lot of people are unkind to animals, especially in the name of commerce, the cruelty is condoned and, once large sums of money are at stake, will be defended to the last by otherwise intelligent people. ~Ruth Harrison, author

Poor animals! How jealously they guard their pathetic bodies . . . that which to us is merely an evening's meal, but to them is life itself. ~T. Casey Brennan

Life is life--whether in a cat, or dog or man. There is no difference there between a cat or a man. The idea of difference is a human conception for man's own advantage.~Sri Aurobindo

Flesh eating is unprovoked murder. ~Ben Franklin

Choti Khushiyan

Even when we think we've given up, it goes two ways. Either we despair because of our failure, or we stop caring entirely. The first leads us to the understanding that we still want something. We have a hope and it has not become fruitful. Despair is the lack of faith. Despair is the lack of faith, not hope. Because, despair itself stems from the existence of hope. As long as that hope exists will despair equally exist. 

Sometimes we let the ball drop and feel that once it has, it's all shattered in pieces that can never be put together again. And yet, we're still here, with or without the ball. Our perception of life because distorted when we try to look through these very same broken pieces. Something like those funny mirrors in those clown houses where you're looking at yourself, but now you're shorter, fatter, thinner and taller.

You're looking at yourself, but is this really you? Maybe what you've become so focussed on isn't what you should be looking at. The more you try to analyse, the more it becomes unravelled. And yet, we continue to try. Do we fear for losing something, and hence hold on all the more tighter? Are we building expectations that are exceeding an ability to manifest into reality? Are we underestimating ourselves or setting ourselves up for our own failure? Are we forgetting to sit back and embrace the little things that make up the whole, looking at the broken tree and forgetting the rest of the forest? 

Something in human nature gears our mindset to prioritizing the negative aspects of our lives more than the positive. One bad experiences eclipses the light we get from everything else in life. Why do the things which pull us down literally outweigh all the good things which should uplift us?

My rationalization side tells me:  "Because, IQ, this is the most important part of your life, and you can't take the insecurities and hardships which happen regarding it."

Today one of my friends told me, when I was pulling myself back into my shell, that friends flow with the flow. He got out his hammer and chisel. Yesterday, another put on a pink dupatta and, in his own way, cheered me up in the midst of my misery. One very special girl put up with me saying something in frustration and tried her best to make things alright again. And my bestest friend in the entire world made sure I understood that if I dropped the ball, he'd be there to catch it. How can I be selfish enough to let myself pull not just myself, but these awesome friends down as well?

And, yo, I'm missing all of them a lot as I write this. If I don't let you know often enough with my recent mood, you all are super special to me. 

The oddest thing is, I started this post meaning to inspire myself by just listing out the little things I am thankful for, hence the title. It's something I do once in awhile to slap myself awake and smell the roses. Listing things like, beautiful blue skies, enjoying my iced coffee, or just sitting alone. But oddly, I didn't have to make a list.  I think I already said what is making life at the moment worth it all.

Thank you ♥

Trying to Compensate for Their Inadequacies

With all the computer geeks employed by the NSA, the deputy director of the FBI wasn’t surprised that this case was quickly boiling down to attention. While most of these people could be brilliant at manipulating data or analyzing intel, many of them lacked the rudimentary social skills necessary to properly function in the real world. They’d rather hack sites, write code, or play video games in their off time than go out in the world and interact with other human beings. They served a vital role for the nation, especially with how rapidly technology was changing, but then something like this happened.

A lot of these people were ticking time bombs. It was only a matter of when, not if, they would explode, and then the results were anybody’s guess. It happened in one of two ways. Either the violence would manifest itself in a physical form such as a workplace shooting, or it would be more intellectual. The classic I’ll show them how much smarter I am betrayal was exactly what they were witnessing right now. It was one of the worst ways an employee who handled sensitive information could lash out, and it could prove just as deadly as if he had managed to smuggle in an automatic weapon and a backpack full of pipe bombs to take out as many of his superiors and coworkers as possible before turning the gun on himself.

This was an excerpt from something I was reading a few days ago, and I thought it was apt enough to certain circumstances and individuals that may usually amuse us while simultaneously shaking our heads, really wondering how pathetic people can get.


We're pretty aware of it, and while it hasn't really been addressed, here are some interesting tidbits from Wiks about what is known as "cyber bullying":

• Behaviors may include encouraging others to harass the victim and trying to affect a victim's online participation. 
• Many cyberstalkers try to damage the reputation of their victim and turn other people against them. 
• Cyberstalking (cyberstalking is a form of cyberbullying) may include false accusations, monitoring, making threats, identity theft, damage to data or equipment, the solicitation of minors for sex, or gathering information in order to harass. 
• Cyberbullies may disclose victims' personal data (e.g. real name, home address, or workplace/schools) at websites or forums or may use impersonation, creating fake accounts, comments or sites posing as their target for the purpose of publishing material in their name that defames, discredits or ridicules them. 
• A repeated pattern of such actions and harassment against a target by an adult constitutes cyberstalking. 
• Among factors that motivate stalkers are: 
• envy 
• pathological obsession (professional or sexual) 
• unemployment or failure with own job or life 
• intention to intimidate and cause others to feel inferior 
• the stalker is delusional and believes he/she "knows" the target 
• the staker wants to instill fear in a person to justify his/her status 
• belief they can get away with it (anonymity). 
• National Workplace Bullying Advice Line theorizes that bullies harass victims in order to make up for inadequacies in their own lives. 
• There are consequences of law in offline stalking and online stalking, and cyber-stalkers can be put in jail.

Môôds

"As you hang up the phone after talking to your girlfriend, who has gone from being super nice to super naughty and back to super nice in a matter of 10 minutes, you can't help but ask yourself who this three-headed monster you're dating really is.

One minute she's telling you how happy you make her, the next she's telling you how happy she is when you're away from her. You thought you were dating one girl, but with her mood swings, you might as well be dating four."

Moods? What moods? Yeah, yeah, yeah.  Oh, we women. We leave you guys blinking and scratching your heads. Wondering what exactly it was you said, or maybe you didn't pick up on something she said.  What do you do? Do you give her space now and leave her alone, or do you try to talk more? OH <insert expletive here>!

Yeah well, excuse me. But you guys tend to have them as well. We women just seem more prone to them. Why? Are we just innately born drama queens? Are we programmed to turn on and off at apparently random moments?

As a woman, and one who tends to be pretty sensitive, I can tell you this: I feel like slapping myself just as much as you'd like to (except that it would be then called female abuse so you keep your hands to yourself) when I lose my cool.

I've always had guy (not gay, read: male) buddies. As such, I may commiserate with you dudes a bit more than more feminist attitudes would warrant. (And yeah, I totally salute the awesome dudes in my life who put up with my moods. I tell you, this is a feat deserving the Nobel Peace prize.) And I've had that tomboy phase when growing up, so that I've been known to look at the female species more as a cat-fight enterprise. I wasn't into the OOH I GOT A BOYFRIEND AND LIKE HE'S THE FOOTBALL CAPTAIN, AND LIKE THEN I GOT NAILPOLISH LIKE THIS COLOUR AND BLAH BLEE BLOO BLEH type of stuff. No offense to those of you who might be or may have.

Then I grew up some more. I bloomed out of my tomboy shell and entered the world of femininity. Not that it happened suddenly. It started occurring to me belatedly. I'd have other girls asking me how I did this or that. Where I got this. What do I do with my eyes. I was startled sometimes. I turned the shade of strawberries at other times. And I slowly became an inductee to the world of moods.

While I am a self professed sensitive creature of this world, I believe in logic. Because I was a biology student for the majority of my life, things such as sex and how the body works really didn't drop on my head like an atomic bomb. It's nature.

As I've witnessed often, a guy's typical reaction to a woman spazzing out with her moods is, "That time of the month huh?" Which usually irritates us to no end. What many of us don't realize is that it usually IS because of that time of the month. While this topic might weird some of you out, it's fact.

A week or two before a woman gets her period, she's going to experience what's known as PMS. Yes, pre menstrual syndrome, don't go screaming out of the door. And it's in this phase of the menstrual cycle that the hormones are doing weird things. If I explain it elaborately, you will fall asleep.  Please refrain from stating that you already have. So I shall explain it simply.

Remember, the whole purpose of the reproductive cycle is to reproduce. Men produce sperm. Women produce eggs. ♀Egg + ♂Sperm = reproduction .

So, every month an egg is prepared for take-off. The body gets all happy thinking "Yay, we're doing cool things and makin' babies, yo". Because that's how our bodies are programmed, to reproduce means you're thriving like a fit species ought to. The happy hormones are doing their thing.

Then the egg doesn't get fertilized. Dun dun dun. Body gets sad. Now body has to prepare a funeral for the egg, and the hormones are now sunk in a dismal abyss. No more happy hormones. Hence PMS.

Oh, yeah. Feel free to use this story for when you have kids of your own.

So, guys, while you so totally didn't want to read all this information that might put you off the whole idea that a woman's body might be sexy, that sexiness is what comes with the moods. No moods, no boobs. (Wow, did I really say that?)

However, us women also need to realize that we can't just use PMS as an excuse. I may be watching a movie and then all of a sudden I get really choked up by some scene. And I look at myself and wonder what the hell is wrong with you, girl? Then it clicks. Oh damn, I need to lock myself in a closet or hide under the bed. IQ BOMB is here! 

Oh, and the crying. You guys just hate the tears, don't you? Trust me, we do too. Sometimes they start out of nowhere, and may even go on for some time. But trust me on this one, crying is a biological defense mechanism. Don't hold it back, girls (and guys, if you are so inclined). The act of crying stimulates the production of endorphins.

Say what? Endorphins are happy hormones! After a good cry, you usually get a bit more clear-headed and you feel better, don't you? Well, not always. Sometimes what you also need to do is slap yourself a few times, jump up and down and run around the room in a counter-clockwise triangle. And breathe. Breathing is usually underrated.

When it comes to that time of the month, I get really sensitive. I get hurt (emotionally) pretty quickly, but not by just anyone. The amount of an emotional reaction I have is usually directly proportional to how important that person is to me. I get hurt and sometimes have less patience than I normally have.

It varies by person. My sister, for example, becomes incredibly snarky. Rude and cold.  And it's not just limited to the female species. As one of my friends told me today, when I told him I was writing about PMS, "We all get PMS."

Of course, not literally. It has been scientifically proven that changes in men's hormonal balance can also result in physiological changes, which eventually result in psychological changes.

We are all creatures of emotion and hormones and all the chemical electroreceptors and transmitters that go beyond most levels of comprehension. We have feelings. And we react to circumstances accordingly. Sometimes it may be emphasized by certain hormone levels, or our hormones drop so much that emotional imbalances are augmented even more and we let things get out of hand.

And yeah, it feels good sometimes, just to not hold anything back, and let it all out. We can only hope that the person on the receiving end really, and I mean really, understands. Otherwise, it's usually not acceptable just to take it all out on a person for no good reason just to take it all out.

Being a woman, I can tell you sometimes, all we need is a little comforting. Okay, maybe not just a little. If we're manifesting our emotions so much that you're really feeling the heat, maybe that's us opening up our emotion bottle and showing that we're not all that well.

It's really hard to know just what to do though. Your instincts tell you to tiptoe away and hope that it all just goes away. Because, being a guy, that's usually what happens to you. Or, not just even a guy, but a girl facing another girl's moodiness.

I'm all for communication. Sometimes we just want to be talked to, pampered, some sort of foundation or rock to know that there's still a solid ground and that everything is alright or will be alright. That the world isn't going to end and that no matter how weird we're acting, we're still loved for whoever we are, because a lot of the times, even we're really scared by our unreasonable moodiness and feel like we don't know who we are ourselves.

One thing I've learnt was that emotion is inversely proportional to logic. The more emotional we get, the farther we stray from logic. Communication tends to balance this out, when in a fit of moodiness, one tries to get to the bottom of why we're feeling whatever we're feeling.

A lot of the time, we have no clue. It might be the smallest thing that in normal circumstances wouldn't make us bat an eyelash at all. It could be so dumb and silly a thing, we bury even deeper in our misery because we don't want to admit it.

Male or female, we're allowed to be. While we must accommodate the vagaries of emotions in how we react to things, we also need to learn to distinguish how much of what we're feeling is actually attributable to these hormones. How, though? I mean, we don't exactly have hormone readers to monitor our hormone levels (oh, Nobel Prize you're so waiting for me, aren't you?)

We go with the flow. Yeah after all this that I've written this is what I have to say. I'm sorry if you were looking for the solution on how to deal with your girlfriend or wife or friend or whoever it may be. And I'm sorry, girls, if you were looking for a cure-all on how to take control of those mood swings.

I can't give it to you, because we're all just that much unique. Yeah, we're all built with the same hormones. But, still. We're just all different. We work differently, think differently, feel differently.

You're unique. Just like everyone else. ♥

Greetings, World.

Can you believe that the last time I've written was almost a full week ago? Okay, it's right there, the proof in front of our faces, so yeah, we can believe it.

I'm back! "Back from what?" you might ask. Well, I'm not very sure what that answer is. I guess, back from not being here. Here, meaning my blog. (By the way, can you believe that this auto spell checker in my blog editor that's checking my spelling as I type this post up is telling me that the word 'blog' is incorrect? Irony.)

What I detest about the summers: The rowdy neighbours who have a need to stay up until the wee hours of the night, blaring their ghetto music from their cars that are parked in the middle of the street. It being so hot and humid you have your windows open to catch those tendrils of chilled breeze that intermingles like a silver thread in a hot and thick blanket of heat. So you're simultaneously tossing and turning in the heat and tossing and turning with the racket that's pounding in your ears, music, cars slamming, loud shouts and conversation, bright lights.

This is night. People sleep. I need to sleep!

In my frustration, I resorted to listening to my own music. In the dark, I rummaged and pulled out my trusty old mp3 player. I turned it on and stuck the ear buds in my ear. As the music started at random, I found myself listening to a song from one of my old favourite albums, after years. I put it on repeat.

Tu Hi Tuuuuuuuuuu, Har Jagah

Tu Hi Tu Jeene Ki Wajah