Even when we think we've given up, it goes two ways. Either we despair because of our failure, or we stop caring entirely. The first leads us to the understanding that we still want something. We have a hope and it has not become fruitful. Despair is the lack of faith. Despair is the lack of faith, not hope. Because, despair itself stems from the existence of hope. As long as that hope exists will despair equally exist.
Sometimes we let the ball drop and feel that once it has, it's all shattered in pieces that can never be put together again. And yet, we're still here, with or without the ball. Our perception of life because distorted when we try to look through these very same broken pieces. Something like those funny mirrors in those clown houses where you're looking at yourself, but now you're shorter, fatter, thinner and taller.
You're looking at yourself, but is this really you? Maybe what you've become so focussed on isn't what you should be looking at. The more you try to analyse, the more it becomes unravelled. And yet, we continue to try. Do we fear for losing something, and hence hold on all the more tighter? Are we building expectations that are exceeding an ability to manifest into reality? Are we underestimating ourselves or setting ourselves up for our own failure? Are we forgetting to sit back and embrace the little things that make up the whole, looking at the broken tree and forgetting the rest of the forest?
Something in human nature gears our mindset to prioritizing the negative aspects of our lives more than the positive. One bad experiences eclipses the light we get from everything else in life. Why do the things which pull us down literally outweigh all the good things which should uplift us?
My rationalization side tells me: "Because, IQ, this is the most important part of your life, and you can't take the insecurities and hardships which happen regarding it."
Today one of my friends told me, when I was pulling myself back into my shell, that friends flow with the flow. He got out his hammer and chisel. Yesterday, another put on a pink dupatta and, in his own way, cheered me up in the midst of my misery. One very special girl put up with me saying something in frustration and tried her best to make things alright again. And my bestest friend in the entire world made sure I understood that if I dropped the ball, he'd be there to catch it. How can I be selfish enough to let myself pull not just myself, but these awesome friends down as well?
And, yo, I'm missing all of them a lot as I write this. If I don't let you know often enough with my recent mood, you all are super special to me.
The oddest thing is, I started this post meaning to inspire myself by just listing out the little things I am thankful for, hence the title. It's something I do once in awhile to slap myself awake and smell the roses. Listing things like, beautiful blue skies, enjoying my iced coffee, or just sitting alone. But oddly, I didn't have to make a list. I think I already said what is making life at the moment worth it all.
Thank you ♥
