Wednesday, January 23, 2013

23

Ok so today's thought of the day before I forget. So, there's this girl/woman I see almost every evening on the bus going home from work. For awhile I sort of didn't like the 'vibe' I got from her - a sort of snobby type. Can't explain. Anyways, we usually sit in the same area on the bus, and yesterday she was two seats to my left, with noone between us, and she was yapping away on her phone so hyperly and excitedly, you could just FEEL the happiness oozing off her.

Tonight. I actually see her coming onto the train where I am seated when the train stops at her station, and I automatically get black vibes from her. Anxiety, worry, sorrow. This all while she's still some distance away from me, with a whole crowd between us. When we finally get on the final bus home, she's sitting right beside me. She's not talking on the phone. I'm reading, as I usually do, and my eyes flit 2 cms to the left, and right there is her iphone, and she's texting someone back.

Now, before you think I'm a total creep or stalker, let me tell you that I'm a fast reader, as in, I can take in a whole sentence at a glance, in a way. Again, hard to explain. But yeah I...ahem...absorbed some of what her conversation was and it just made me feel an amazing feeling. All of a sudden, I didn't not like her. In fact, I felt a deep sense of empathy and almost felt like hugging her and casting my eyes sideways, I saw the familiar gleam of unshed tears. A bit filmy, but yeah.

It's probably already wrong to have invaded her private space, and probably more to share what her private conversation was here. But thing is, you don't know her. And secondly, the amazement that came over me was that her private conversation was one almost anyone could relate to in some way - it was the same old script found in every other love story.

Other person (apparently the 'he'): "I don't know what is happening but I don't want us to fall for each other, the way we are already falling.... I'm feeling like a teenager again...But... I don't want to hurt and to get hurt :)"

She's writing as my eyes absorb: "I was thinking how to tell you this all day, but it seems as if I was meant to get hurt afterall."

TELL ME that's so not something we've already heard? It's so cliche, and totally the usual desi dialogue. But it's just so strange the way this emotion of heartbreak is so universal, and so familiar. It just removes all barriers to previous prejudice and creates imaginary bridges of empathy and understanding between strangers. I don't know her, but I found myself saying a quiet prayer for some sort of strength and patience to be and stay with her.


25 comments:

  1. and when u think nothing can hurt u anymore, not even if u went through it again, there comes the realization that it still does..

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    1. Soooo very very true! But when you realize it's still hurting maybe that's a sign that..I don't know, sometimes you need to really build up your armour...somehow :) I guess the more we try to build and become stronger regardless of how many ways that hurt gets through, that's when we're able to truly fend for ourselves, emotionally..

      Ahh yea. I'm confusing myself this early in the morning.

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    2. Armour-r=amour
      does that prove anything? o_O

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    3. R = ideal gas constant
      R = (pressure × volume) / (amount × temperature)
      amour = love
      armour = protection
      amour = armour - R
      love = protection without constraint, of immeasurable capacity
      love = protection that is vast and boundless

      :ninja:

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    4. you beat me... how did you think of PV=nRT now? :|

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    5. hahahaha simbly by thinking vhat is R :B

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    6. well .. from my perch PV = FV/(1+r) where PV is the present value of a future payment or receipt (denoted by FV) and r is the discount rate (often approximated by the return on capital) ... in this case i'm assuming a one year time frame, for a PV of a payment/receipt two years into the future, use PV = FV/(1+r)^2 ... you can of course amend the formula appropriately for multi year payments/receipts.

      :biggrin LOL

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    7. Yes, but application in this context buddy boy

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  2. Does that post title mean 23rd day of the year? I mean you started the 365-day post ? #JustCurious

    You are a really quick reader. :P

    I hope everything turns out good for her. :)

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    1. Well, it does mean 23rd day of the year. I really meant the date. That's all :P and yup, I'll probably see her again on the bus, happily yapping tonight or some night... :)

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  3. We're all humans (good job for stating the obvious) and no matter what differences we have, I think we will find love and all the emotions branching from it in everyone.

    And lol I do the same, but with my super ninja skills, since my eyes arent as sharp as yours seem to be.

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    1. Haha I knew you'd be the same, I have another bus-story for today I THINK. I'm going to let the day pan out to see if there's anything otherwise I can write about. :D

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    2. Um thus far I've seen only humans taking the bus? ::unsure

      OH you mean Kia's comment. wah wah :B

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  4. *Thinks*

    *Thinks some more*

    *and more*

    :-W

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  5. A blow comes, of a sledgehammer;
    You're beaten, broken or yielded far.
    Harder you grew, the faster you broke.
    Stronger you grew the longer you stood.
    Melted away, you never felt a thing!
    Sublimated to thin air, then who cares?
    Change you, change you, change you ought!
    Which way, to what form, how far is the quest.

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