Today is one of those days that just make you long for summer vacation. The good old days when school would be over and you get three entire months to do absolutely nothing. Sleep in longer, head out in the warm outdoors, play a good game of soccer or just a walk on the beach, get a pizza, a slushy, enjoy the sunset as you just relax.
That's the theory of course. I have never truly been too keen on vacations that made you have to stay at home. When in school I usually dreaded the last day of the school year and the long days of waiting until school started again. Not just because I was just a nerd, mind you. But because, my father being the stickler for productive time, and perpetual studies, would enforce upon us a schedule for the entire day which comprised of extra hours allotted to mathematics, physics, biology, chemistry, music and chores- anything that he could put his mind to. He was big on discipline.
Of course, we did have our days out at the park, biking, playing games, going out for pizza, but everything we did was in that cautious way as if we were scared of enjoying too much lest we get penalized with extra homework. Mind you, as long as we did everything we were supposed to do, we were free to do whatever we wanted. However, with the hour upon hour of assigned duties, there seemed very little hope of that happening.
During one moment when we were allowed to watch TV, I got a bit enthusiastic and started singing along with the cartoon's title song. "We're the planeteers, you can be one too, saving the planet is the thing to do! Reusing and reducing is the way, here's what Captn Planet has to say! ... GOoooooooooooooooo Planet!"
"You know the whole song by heart and you don't know your timetables? Wasting your time watching TV - go to your room now and make sure you know all of them by heart!"
Oops.
I think I learnt to keep my own sentiments and emotions to myself in this way. On the other hand, I can say I'm probably as smart as I seem to be today because of the early years of extra studies. I knew my derivatives when my classmates were learning the 9 timetables. I was assessed in 4th grade to be of 9th grade reading level. I knew Ohm's law when the class was learning what electricity is. I was given my first encyclopaedia of Biology on my 8th birthday. I don't mean to sound like I'm boasting; these are memories.
It's our experiences which make us who we are. As a consequence of dreading vacation time, I would fill my summers with extra classes. High school summers were used to learn what would be taught in the next year. University summers became an extra semester.
There are those times when I actually have the occasion to do absolutely nothing. There is part of me that feels guilty. I have an inner voice that says, "What are you idling time away for? Do something productive!" And I get up and do something productive. Other times I have to rationalize to myself that I deserve the time to myself.
Yesterday was one of these times. I thought, why can't I just live for the sake of living right now. Why do I have to DO things to make it seem that it was worthwhile, when I don't get the chance to enjoy the world for what it is. If I stopped to admire the clouds - a slap on the head and move on and don't dawdle.
Maybe this is what makes me who I am now. The reason why I love just sitting and thinking. Why I get so happy with a beautiful day with beautiful weather. Why I appreciate every moment I get to simply walk out in a quiet morning and listen to the mourning dove call out to it's mate. Why I get the chance to simply bask in the sunshine and breathe in deeply for whatever the moment is worth.
Because, today is beautiful.
