Wednesday, November 07, 2012

Biking

Life. In the midst of all the waves, the storms, the conflux of emotions, we tend to look forward to that moment when it all settles and so that we can, in peace, live. And we forget, that this in all it's movement is life itself.

"Enjoy these moments" - an offhand comment that made me start thinking. Even when we are reminiscing, missing past moments, aching or longing for something else, or even down in the dumps, sometimes that's what makes it all so more special.

Life, bereft of its struggle couldn't be as fulfilling. We need that hill to climb so that we know we have a purpose. Sometimes we need a slap in order to appreciate a hug. Sometimes we need to fight in order to appreciate and understand affection. Sometimes we need to look ourselves in the mirror to understand what it is who we really are.

One squeezes a sponge to see what it contains. An orange can look enticing from the outside but once squeezed can we know how sweet or sour that juice really tastes. Likewise, do I like what comes out of me when under pressure?

Serenity. Give me the ability to take both good and bad in stride, for bad not overcome and tempt me onto its path when the wind blows in the wrong direction.

Patience. To be able to endure, and not fall to pieces when the wind wind blows stale.

Strength. To emerge and overcome, and not blow away when the wind blows too hard.

Sometimes we think we have it already, that we've already been able to scale the steepest mountain, and we've become all the more stronger for the experience. Then life gives you a mountain face that's entirely vertical, and somehow you're hanging from your fingertips, and that's when you learn, there's still more to go.

I have found that most of my personal growth has been through hardship. I rode off down the hill without a problem the very first time I sat on a bike. I didn't even worry about training wheels, or kneepads, nor helmet. I walked my first pink and white bike up the hill (which looked quite high at that young age) and just went for it. I didn't fall once, and I had kept riding until my cousin had to run after me before I disappeared on the horizon.

This is a lesson that stays on my mind even until now. I had learnt that when you need to do something, just do it and don't worry about what may or may not happen. But what this also taught me was that I wasn't prepared, for the times I rode into a bush, or into that parked car, or fell over and grazed my hands and knees. Those were the times when I learnt what I should not do, and how to prevent it from happening again.

Every time I thought the waves had crashed over me and I was doomed to drown, somehow I found myself able to float. I have learnt so much about myself just through the times I have suffered. The times a friend proved to be less of one, or the times a love wasn't what it seemed.

Taking off without a fear is one thing - sometimes you take for granted the things that you already have when it's going so well. I've learnt that sometimes the bike you're on isn't reliable. You learn to know what is good for you, and what isn't. Sometimes the path is strewed with obstacles, you need to learn how to maneuver past these. Sometimes, the weather is not right, and you learn to gauge when it is the right time, place and occasion. You may have your eyes just focussed on the horizon and not see that where you are isn't going to get you there. And you need to have a good sense of balance. If you don't keep your head up, and learn to steady yourself, you certainly won't get far.

Sometimes I love the way I sound. I think I sound so smart and sensible, then I bump into another bike rider, who on the trip down the path, or during a mishap when we crash against each other, makes me realize there are things about myself I don't really like and that there is a lot more I need to work on.

Sometimes even when you don't like the brambles and thorns that scratch and get at you while you're travelling that road, you understand sometimes, even when you're hurting or in pain, this itself is an experience that one day you can look back on for having gotten past, and understand that these are all the moments which make up life.