Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Reminisce

I've been going through a lot of  my old blogs. Not those here, but on Lucid Iridescence, where I have posts going back as far as 2005.

 I'm not really sure why, today I read something that triggered a deep sadness, that although has been there for some time, the expression of what I read just sort of made me think. Sadness is somehow one of those great maps, it often allows us to delve within ourselves and think and ask questions we'd not consider when we are happy. But then again, sometimes it stems all ability to see, it fogs and clouds our senses so that we're as good as blind.

 I've always used writing to clear my mind; I started writing as a personal thing, - and I know I've said this before, nevertheless I reiterate -just being able to get down the why I am feeling what I am feeling, the sentiments, and then what I did was approach myself as I would my own best friend and cheer that other me up. That's how I started writing. Sometimes, you don't need to be a poet, or a writer. Just expressing what you  feel or think, whatever form it takes, is a start. That's what happened to me. Then, after I had it down I was able to detach from that emotion, because in essence it was like a piece of art that flowed from myself, as if I pulled out the emotion from my heart and it became a sculpture - and I circled it a few times and almost as if it were both a monument to what I felt and a gravestone, I was able to move on.

Not that easily, mind you. It took a lot from me to be able to open up and face what I didn't want to face. It might have taken even more to share it to the world - and not just strangers, but those I came face to face with in every day life.

I was looking at the archives on this blog here, and realized with a start that the number of posts I've written for November are quite few, compared to the other months. I was thinking that I've got a few days in the month left; I'll be able to write off several posts and therefore wouldn't be so short. Because I can't figure out what and why really I haven't been writing so much. There just seems to be this underlying sorrow that seems into everything and steals away warmth, smiles, words.

And this shouldn't be so. There should be something to cure this...maybe we all need to hold hands and skip around in a circle or do the macarena...or ..........Why are you all giving me those looks?

8 comments:

  1. it has to do with the sudden (but not unexpected) onset of colder weather, shorter days, standard time so it gets dark at 4 15, a couple of semi big fights with one of ur friends, barer trees, browner grass, less biking etc etc. ... i.e. all the things that kept us warm and verdant have suddenly disappeared ... but worry not grasshoppa ... "can spring be far behind" :D

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    Replies
    1. Colder weather - check
      Shorter days - well... ok check
      ST - heck yeah
      SBF - check... not just one :P
      Bare trees - yes :/
      Browner grass - *peeks out window* Ok wth no grass all concrete :/
      Less biking etc - yaa :(


      Hehe grasshoppa :B

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  2. Even I haven't been writing as frequently as I used to :)

    And I've seen the sorrow in your old posts, as I've read through most of the posts at Lucid Iridescence, if not all :)

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    Replies
    1. Get yourself ready, breathe in, breathe out, cause I'm about to share some creepy behaviour of mine with you.

      When I first started following you, and reading Lucid Iridescence, before sleeping each night I would read through your posts one by one (on my phone), and I did that until the day I finished reading all of them.

      Okay, now I sound weird right? But, there was just something in them, something so close to me :) For some of the posts, it was almost as if I was hearing my inner heart speak to me.

      And it's so SO odd, well not odd, but I don't know a better word to use right now. But it's so "something" that everything you've written in this post I've read on Lucid Iridescence. The sorrow, the way you wrote and everything. Okay, I'm losing my mind.

      I WILL SHUT UP NOW :P

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    2. Okay one more thing, and then I will shut up.

      I also read your posts at Sapne :)And goodness oh goodness, I am speechless (for various reasons, all good)

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    3. *faints*

      Actually - I'm not shocked. Yesterday reading through my LI posts, I found your comments here and there, where noone else had tread, and I FELT the empathy, sort of :)

      But I AM touched. :)

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  3. *Blinks*

    Well I have also noticed that you've been more in the dumps lately but fear not my little one.. its just a phase and it shall pass..... besides you have such wonderful friends around you to get you through anything..... me included *rolleyes*

    Also, I agree with all the reasons Guru ji mentioned...

    *Gives you jaadu ki jappi* ^^

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