Monday, August 13, 2012

Things You Should Be Able To Say About Yourself: 1

Good morning world! I thought it was actually almost cold last night, and this morning I wanted to just curl back up in my blanket in the grey chilly morning. Since work beckoned, I grudgingly got out, showered, brushed, and told myself if I can't have my blankie then I'll have the next best thing. I dressed myself in comfortable cotton sweat pants, tshirt, and hoodie. Bliss.

Admittedly, I might actually be overdressed now. The sun is up and it's hard to believe that it actually was cold earlier on. But..oh well. I'm all snuggly, and therefore happy.

Anyways, today I did not feel like blogging again, I'm not quite sure where this writing lethargy is coming from. I mean, I wanted to, but I just was like ........ yeah more of the same "........".

What do I feel like doing? I feel like....dancing. Just letting go and feeling that magic and satisfaction of exact choreography. I feel like reading. Curling up with a really good book. Nowadays, I don't feel like reading a book without my newly enlisted reading buddy though. I mean, I do read, but I get restless again. I can't put my finger on the source nor the cure for this. Don't get me wrong, I don't feel sad. I'm incredibly content with  life as it is.

So, onto what spurred me into writing. Here I was, first thing in the morning, tending to the regular Monday morning protocol, and somehow I find this webpage regarding 12 Things You Should Be Able To Say About Yourself. Now I've got fodder to chew on, and will be going through these points post by post. So here we go...

1.  I am following my heart and intuition.
Don’t be pushed by your problems.  Be led by your dreams.  Live the life you want to live.  Be the person you want to remember years from now.  Make decisions and act on them.  Make mistakes, fall and try again.  Even if you fall a thousand times, at least you won’t have to wonder what could have been.  At least you will know in your heart that you gave your dreams your best shot.
I think if there is anything that has got me where I am it's because of my almost persistent stubbornness to follow my heart. As far back as I can recall, I've always been holding onto my "Dare to dream!" credo like a lucky charm. I haven't been so great with making decisions and acting on them, and there are times I've definitely screwed up. One of my old friends once said to me that I am very good at helping other people, but not with helping myself. That is true. I tend to put others before me.
"Even if you fall a thousand times" is something that's so definitely what I have learnt. I have trained myself to live without fear - I try, but I can't say I've actually achieved this. But then again, we have fear instilled in us for a purpose. Our amygdalas would be another appendix if we learnt to ignore fear. It's our survival instinct. I have learnt that the things I fear most are losing the people closest to me. Materialistic things I could care less for. I have learnt that I learn best when I do make mistakes. Throughout my childhood, when I needed to memorize something, I would jump right into the deep end and try to reiterate whatever it was. I would often take sheets of blank paper and try to put down the content I needed memorized as well as I could from memory. Then I would compare it to the original and correct myself. I did this repetitively until I had it perfect. I learnt better when I remembered where I erred.

I've also learnt to laugh at myself when I do fall. Literally and figuratively. There are times when my sensitivity snags on the cloth of apathy and I don't do such a good job of letting go.

Each of us has a fire in our hearts burning for something. It’s our responsibility in life to find it and keep it lit. This is your life, and it’s a short one. Don’t let others extinguish your flame. Try what you want to try. Go where you want to go. Follow your own intuition. Dream with your eyes open until you know exactly what it looks like. Then do at least one thing every day to make it a reality.

The fire that's been burning in my heart, at times I felt it would consume me entirely. At times when it was too hot for the space it needed, I believed that maybe it didn't belong in my heart. Some times I felt I would never find what it burned for and often felt I would extinguish it myself. No matter what, how often I told myself that it was gone, somehow I couldn't truly ever let it go. I guess that's applicable to following my intuition. Even when I tried ignoring it, it showed up all over the place like a ghost that would not disappear.

And as you strive to achieve your goals, you can count on there being some fairly substantial disappointments along the way.  Don’t get discouraged, the road to your dreams may not be an easy one.  Think of these disappointments as challenges – tests of persistence and courage.  At the end of the road, more often than not, we regret what we didn’t do far more than what we did. 

I've always told myself that when things get tough I need to get tougher. If there was anything worth gaining, I needed to get over the obstacles to show that I deserved it. It would only be my fault alone if I gave up before trying. I've fallen so many times, I can't even tell. But when I look back at the stepping stones I've jumped and wobbled over precariously, I am so very thankful to see the path I've taken that's taken me to here.


  1. its still cold and rainy here ... and i LOVE your post :biggrin

    1. :O Whoaaaa. That's definitely making me look at my post again :O THANKS!

  2. Yay, I loved this post!

    I won't be able to see the next 11 probably :(

    Anyways, I'll come back with a proper comment later, I'm a busy bee right now ☺

    1. :O Yeah you are. I was thinking about that earlier, I think it was you (well you and Smoke) who inadvertently inspired me because I was on my Whispers of Rain and seeing your comments, I thought of something and then I googled something...I forgot what now, and it led me to that webpage..

      You'll see the next 11.. they'll still be waiting you when you return! I've tagged the posts with labels now so you'll be able to find them.. :)

  3. I would often take sheets of blank paper and try to put down the content I needed memorized as well as I could from memory. Then I would compare it to the original and correct myself. I did this repetitively until I had it perfect. I learnt better when I remembered where I erred.

    Can totally visualise the "little" you doing this =] Did you have baby glasses back then as well? :D

    1. LOL You know I started wearing glasses since 4th grade :/