In continuity with my last post, it makes a lot of sense that what I miss are a lot of people who were once a big part of my life. There are several sized gaping holes inside of me where they once belonged, and some may heal, some have healed, and some shall never.
I miss these people, and I miss them along with the memories that accompany the who they were. Who they are is a memory in itself, and that fact is leads me into the path of missing them, for the contrast of before and after.
But missing these people is a natural state of being. We possess memory for survival, and in missing someone and reminiscing, somehow we know what it is we miss, and therefore what it is we need and want, and sometimes that gives us a sense of direction in where we are today in life.
If it isn't too confusing to try to explain, I miss dreams as well. Not just dreams folorn and forsaken, left behind on that path of memory, but dreams of a future. Is missing then interchangeable with longing? When we dream and extend our minds to a future not yet tread, somehow we've already tread that path to that future and our self in the future somehow looks back to the past that is the present. Often we actualize those dreams and find that the coming together of past and future provides you the most ecstatic sensation ever - but I digress.
I digress, because as I am now, in this moment, is a superimposition of many dimensions: past, present, future, and I am hypersensitive, overly aware of the fluctuations of these threads. I miss many things and people of the past, and yet, I am already receptive to and cognizant of a frequency of the future, and I miss that as well. It's confusing and inexplicable.
