Monday, March 31, 2014

Rejoice

I almost let the day slip by without attempting to put it down in record; almost. But today being the most beautiful day so far in 2014, I can't do that, now can I?

It never ceases to amaze me how attuned I am with nature. The day seems to take me under my arms and throw up upward and I rise, and rise and rise, with the gorgeousness around me. Yes, this is definitely Spring.

And it's March! Well, the end of March technically. I realize I had psychologically locked my mind toward experiencing this rapture of springtime in May - my favourite month.  When the warmth is really and truly in place, when the unpredictability of the weather has been tamed down, so much that it can be said to be tamed.

And I don't know. I have felt unhinged. Just as unpredictable the weather has been these days - sun, rain, snow, high winds, no wind - it seems that's also been reflective of who and how I have been. Some days I am down in the murky depressing world, and the very next, I seem to suck it all in, and give the optimistic route another try. I seem to portray the typical girl with mood-swings, but it isn't that. Is it ever?

 So it's hard to understand women, I hear. Hell, it is hard to understand anyone or anything really, if you try hard enough. Can you understand the weather? Blows hot, blows cold. We observe patterns in wind movement, we recognize hormonal patterns.

But hey, I'm not saying it's all about PMSing. This certainly isn't. I mean, not all this hectic candidness about how I'm fluctuating my moods - don't get me wrong. I'm just saying it's the season of change, and somehow it seems to internalize also.

Does this mean that if I lived in a climate that was more stable and constant, I would be so also? I don't know. Maybe I should experiment and try it out. But I can't help but admit something. Despite the months of cold blustery winters, or the weeks of musty, dreary rain, or the reddened noses, or the sweltering heat waves and humidity - I love it all. I love where I live because of the vastness of it's climate canvas. It goes all over the place, and is so vibrantly, emphatically, colourful. There is just so much that we get to experience, and yes, I love it.

Similarly, even when I get down in the dumps and break up with hope, when I torment myself with negativity, and then get over it, feeling really stupid about it all, even when I get really excited about the smallest things and go hyper-bananas-crazy and then come back down to earth wondering what the hell's wrong with me - despite it all, I love it. I love the million trillion gazillion shades of me.

4 comments:

  1. o unhinged one .. we love your gazillion shades too :D

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  2. Mood swings related to seasons is a tormenting thing for me. Like you, I can never spring back to action the next day. It destroys my weeks atleast! But I really liked the part where you said you loved your gazillion shades. Because without our mood swings, without the change, we would cease who we are!
    A remarkable elucidation though :)

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